Unions, Needy People, & Should you Adopt? - Briefcase & The Barn - Ep 65

October 15, 2025

Gary: [00:00:00] Okay. Heavenly Father, thank you for this, uh, time today. Lord, I do [00:00:10] not feel like recording a podcast, but, uh, just pray that you give us the words to speak, that we can be interesting and, uh, not offensive, challenging, and encouraging whatever you want us to be. Lord, I just pray that we'd be that today. [00:00:20] I pray for our time together and just, uh, pray that you guide us and keep us from sin.

Gary: In Jesus name, amen.[00:00:30]

Kyle: I am also not ready. Oh, just give her, make sure we're recording. Mike tell you.

Speaker 3: Yeah.[00:00:40]

Speaker 3: Welcome back guys, to another episode of the Briefcase in the Barn, a series of the furiously Curious show where we talk [00:00:50] about business, life, Christianity, and more With Gary and I, he's the barn. And some, and a bunch of briefcases as well. Adult foster, mentor [00:01:00] advocate. What does it say in your shirt there?

Speaker 3: It looks like you just came back from a hike.

Gary: No, it's really funny. I actually just had a bank meeting.

Speaker 3: Okay.

Gary: And, um, well I was in the barn all morning. Yeah. Sorting out cows. And I totally [00:01:10] forgot about, I don't normally forget, but Tim was gone, so he would've went with me. He went for a hike today to Mount Cham with his wife, which is a very

Speaker 3: nice thing to do.

Speaker 3: And, uh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You just went from bank [00:01:20] meeting to sorting cows to a meeting with Tim. Tim, Tim, Tim Whi I, I'm not sure how they all connected.

Gary: Tim went on a hike and Tim would've took me in my bank meeting to make sure I made it to my bank meeting. Oh, we went for a hike. So [00:01:30] Marie called me as I was in the barn and said, Hey, do you remember that you have a bank meeting in Abbotsford with a bank trying to get a very big loan?

Gary: So Tim, really from a new bank, keeps you straight. Wow. I mean, he said, Hey, where are you [00:01:40] at? We gotta this bank meeting, right?

Speaker 3: I'm still looking for someone to help me with, uh, um, organizing podcast guests for this reason. And like emailing back and forth and sending up time, communicating like every, because I would, I would do a show every week [00:01:50] probably if I had someone help me with that.

Speaker 3: So I message Well, if they just

Gary: had 'em in there, in the slot. Yeah. Yeah. But, uh, so someone listening is like, Hey, I'll, I send you a lot of people that could come on. Hey, I've sent you those. A lot of, they're [00:02:00] usually in their eighties or nineties.

Speaker 3: Yeah, I've tried a few of those, but that's the back and forth.

Speaker 3: Just like I need someone just be on that and be like, Hey, Friday morning's

Gary: four hour block. Well, some of these people are real geriatrics, so you gotta go [00:02:10] there and pick 'em up outta the care home. Right. But they're, they got interesting stories. Yeah. Yeah. They were born in the thirties, people that were born in the thirties.

Gary: They have a whole different view on life. I was

Speaker 3: supposed to record it this morning with St. Mos. Okay. It's private investigator. [00:02:20] Yeah. Um, a couple weeks. So

Gary: very interesting.

Speaker 3: Uh,

Gary: yeah. So that'll be coming up soon. Very interesting business. I got a few more lined up, so I think I'm gonna do more of 'em though.

Gary: Anyways, I was covered in shit, which is why. [00:02:30] Oh, I had hiking clothes in my truck, so that was the only change of clothes I was debating. Whether it was weird or to go and hiking. Clothes are shitty clothes could close to a nice restaurant or in shorts and [00:02:40] Oh, okay, because you had the bank meeting after at a restaurant.

Speaker 3: Oh, okay. Hey, they don't care. You're the customer. Right. That's the beautiful thing about, yeah. When the customer, it's

Gary: weird trying to get

Speaker 3: [00:02:50] money from a bank, a lot of money when you're really. Don't what the part? Well, no, it's like a homeless bomb and it's all good. I don't,

Gary: I do not

Speaker 3: care. I've never cared.

Gary: That's how I've always been. Do not

Speaker 3: care. It's interesting. So [00:03:00] when I worked for Jake's Construction, I was in purchasing, okay. And so I had to take all the crews in the field. Um, when they needed something, they had to call me and I had to source it. So I was sourcing stuff, all buying stuff all the time.

Speaker 3: And so [00:03:10] I had tons of sales guys coming in and always trying to sell to me. And I learned a lot about sales, which I did in my. After that job, after that at MDT and stuff about, about just seeing all how the different [00:03:20] sales guys did it and stuff like that, and how they, how they treated you and stuff like that.

Speaker 3: Mm-hmm. Yeah. I, I, purchasing is pretty fun.

Gary: What I have found that's interesting is for most of my career up until now, I was [00:03:30] always, people are always taken aback by how young I am.

Kyle: Mm-hmm.

Gary: And as I'm, it's over. Like now I'm 40. It's like, okay. It kind of makes sense. My dad used to do this. He'd come home, he'd like, oh, you're [00:03:40] 27.

Gary: You're buying you all this stuff. It's like, not anymore. It's like you're geezer man. Yeah, I had that att a lot as a young guy. That makes sense. People

Speaker 3: were like, what are you? Like you're, no. They thought I was like 38 [00:03:50] or 40 or remember

Gary: one guy that worked

Speaker 3: for me and he found out like after like six months of working for me that I was like, that you're half his age weight.

Speaker 3: Yeah. And he thought I was like just as older. Older than him and he was not.

Gary: Half age is just [00:04:00] a number. Guys on the front end and the back end. It's really irrelevant I think.

Speaker 3: Postal strike going on. Is that what everyone's striking out in Chillowak? I've seen a whole bunch of people striking chilo postal strike.

Speaker 3: Well, I thought there

Gary: No, there's another strike too. [00:04:10] 'cause there's, they're standing on Airport Road and I don't think that's a postal strike. Okay. What's that? This

Speaker 3: center town? Uh, I honestly don't know. Their signs are terrible. Like, if you're gonna strike, at least let people know what you're striking, who you are and [00:04:20] how valuable, how valuable of an employee you are.

Speaker 3: Like, okay, you're striking. No. Okay. And in Alberta there's something happening with the teachers that they're striking. Yes. I saw. It's like, that's less blowing up. Little people have pretty strong [00:04:30] opinions about that.

Gary: Yeah. Dr. Less wrote an article about that. I haven't had a chance to read it. I find the postal strike, I just find humorous.

Gary: Humorous, because that just

Speaker 3: happened six months ago, didn't it?

Gary: Yeah. And then they had a ba I would [00:04:40] assume there was back to work legislation. Yeah. That would be my guess, that the government mandated that they go figure it out. Yeah. And, and get back to work in the interim.

Kyle: Yeah.

Gary: Um, I mean, Canada's unique in the sense of, like, [00:04:50] there again, everybody would, if that's from the US that's listening, which is probably not a lot of people, but they would compare and be like, oh, you know, like, just do away with it then.

Gary: But people do feel. Patriotic about their [00:05:00] postal, like, about the idea of having a national postal system. Um, I would say privatize it, you know, that would be my, my theory, uh, my theory would be that hey, if you live in a remote [00:05:10] area Yeah. Where you're, you know, where it's obviously cheaper to live 'cause it's remote, you're gonna pay a little bit more for your packages.

Gary: Where of course now yeah, we would be sub quote unquote subsidizing, I mean, it's still not covering the [00:05:20] cost.

Kyle: Yeah.

Gary: The of, of Canada post shipping parcels to the middle of nowhere in Manitoba or northern BC or something. Yeah. But it's fascinating how, um. Like it's, [00:05:30] talk about cutting your own throat, like it's the epitome because I would be somebody that, wow.

Gary: Well, just in the sense of somebody like myself, I, I spend thousands of dollars a year with 10 post. [00:05:40] Right? Thousands. Yeah. And we are old school. Like there again, for someone my age, most people would've done way more transferred. We mailed checks from every business people rent this house. Kyle's shaking his head.

Speaker 3: [00:05:50] People rent this house from just. Switch to finally etransfer instead of check. I was like, finally, what

Gary: the heck? So for me, it's fascinating because I'm having this experience of like, I'm being forced to do [00:06:00] something that's really good for me because these people are making a very dumb decision in my opinion.

Gary: Um, and I guess the other thing is in occult climate, we're in financially and, and culturally [00:06:10] and just where we're heading as an economy, I just find it really. People being greedy on in bargaining negotiations. They're not reading the, they're not reading the room, in my opinion. But I mean, it's

Speaker 3: just unions [00:06:20] are terrible.

Gary: Well, unions served their purpose for a lot of years. My dad used to be super involved in the union when I was a kid.

Speaker 3: Yeah. Okay. Yeah. I guess maybe union hired years ago,

Gary: unions were. [00:06:30] 70 years ago. Yeah. There would've been a purpose for, hey, like obviously the employer had all the clout and people were probably mistreated.

Gary: Yeah. Today. I mean, literally you can quit in a second. You get severance, you can go find a [00:06:40] better job. It's okay. It's

Speaker 3: not good.

Gary: It's similar to tenants. Like tenants have all the rights, employees of all the rights.

Speaker 3: Well, I listened to a podcast this morning on uh, ai. Um, from, uh, the diary of the CEO, the title of the [00:06:50] podcast as the AI Safety Expert, it was published, uh, I think about a month ago.

Speaker 3: Okay. If you wanna look that up on the diary, CEO. But he's the guy that came on there says like, by 2030 we'll have [00:07:00] 99% unemployment.

Speaker 3: And, and it's just

Gary: Did Matt Keen tell you to listen to this podcast?

Speaker 3: Yeah, he did. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. But this is a, like the, I ever [00:07:10] CEO, that's like, it's the biggest podcast on YouTube. He's not interviewing Dummies? No, he's not. No. And, and he just talks about like where, where, where it's going. And, uh, I mean, I, you don't, he says he doesn't know [00:07:20] where it's going Exactly, because.

Speaker 3: Then he would be as smart as ai.

Gary: Oh,

Speaker 3: wow. Okay. So he doesn't like we had a big

Gary: debate about this the other night. Yeah. He

Speaker 3: goes, he, I, he goes, you don't know, like, I'm [00:07:30] not like he goes, it's like a dog thinking, knowing what his owner's gonna do. Oh, is he

Gary: saying AI that we're the dog now?

Speaker 3: Yeah.

Gary: I disagree.

Speaker 3: Well, time will tell, I [00:07:40] guess.

Speaker 3: Time

Gary: will

Speaker 3: tell. Yeah, it's interesting. Listen, what's your

Gary: feeling on ai, do you think, feel it is a negative or a positive thing?

Speaker 3: Uh, I think it is like. [00:07:50] Similar to fire, that can be used for extreme good and it can be used for extreme bad. I don't know if it's morally right, right or wrong. Right or wrong. I think it's [00:08:00] just such an incredibly powerful tool that it likely will be used for a lot of wrong, even though it'll probably be able to produce a lot of good as well.

Speaker 3: And it's [00:08:10] just weird to think of a world where most jobs will be automated, like even coaching. Like five years from now, I wouldn't be surprised if a bot can coach way better than I can [00:08:20] now. Like how does that work? I, I, I don't even, can't even grasp the thought of that. I don't know. Um.[00:08:30]

Speaker 3: But like, same with like farm. Like, you'll get, you know, robots, AI robots

Gary: already milk the cows.

Speaker 3: Yeah. But they'll put the machines on, take the machines off. They [00:08:40] already do that. Like pushup feed, they already do that. Like everything. You still have to have a manager there though. But I guess it's like individual now.

Speaker 3: It's gonna be like, you know, one guy can do a whole bunch of different jobs so you can physically like, run around and [00:08:50] hop into a tractor. Yeah.

Gary: The part where, um. I would, I would agree with you. And the right or wrong part, I don't, I don't know if technology is kind of indifferent, right? It's there. It's ultimately [00:09:00] created by, you know Yeah.

Gary: People, which were given their gifts by God. I just feel like, uh. Somebody gave me an example the other night when we were having this big debate. Somebody started [00:09:10] talking to like was in the voice mode, which I've never done, and I've used Chad GPT for stuff. Mm-hmm. I don't use it near enough. Um, I follow a guy named Dam Martel, the guy who wrote Buy Back Your Time.

Gary: He's like, I won't even have a [00:09:20] meeting with someone if they don't know how to use it. I don't even bother wasting my time if they're not smart enough to know what we have at our fingertips and I don't want 'em working with me. Right. So that was an interesting concept. So that's been kind of convicting to me.

Gary: I'm like, oh, maybe I'm the [00:09:30] idiot. But, uh, probably am. But the, uh. This person started going into voice mode and talking, and I don't have you done that where you've started to have a discussion. So he just puts it [00:09:40] on voice mode and just dialoguing. Right. Wow. And now you have this, and you can pick the voice, right?

Gary: Like you can pick like bitchy wife voice or soothing soft voice or whatever. Right. Whatever voice you [00:09:50] want. Yeah. Angry, aggressive male. Yeah, that's probably who I'd pick, right?

Speaker 3: The guy he, this guy, he was talking about how like even this diary of CEO said like, what will my job look like in [00:10:00] five years?

Speaker 3: And he's like, well. We can just take all your interviews you've ever have done, and then we can, you know, find someone for you to interview just by researching all their books. And we [00:10:10] have videos of them. And so the videos will be so good that it'll just create the video and it'll, you won't even know the, the difference.

Gary: Yeah. So I think where [00:10:20] my disco, like where it got really disconcerting was the idea of like, um, some kid. Or just people in general that are not doing well [00:10:30] now, having this relationship with their device. Oh, yeah. Seems super scary. And I'm thinking, you know, it's also being fed all the time by, so it becomes a vacuum.

Gary: Like you could say, oh, it's like, [00:10:40] you know, unlimited. Like, you know, the guy who the DI of the CO, who he's interviewing is saying, oh, the sparse surpasses anything of the human capacity, but really. In the [00:10:50] relational stance where the, per the, the, the person's chatting with you, they're dialoguing with whoever they're, they've got all their input from.

Gary: And so if it's a suicidal teenager who's struggling mentally and now [00:11:00] they're dialoguing, it just seems to me really dangerous. Right? Yeah, a hundred percent. And I think the struggle I always have with it, 'cause even if, as I think of practically how it relates to my life, we're like thinking, Hey, how are [00:11:10] our kids gonna have devices?

Gary: Well, you know, initially it would've been, you know, AI's probably in a lot of ways would be a great tool for them to use and they could. But is it just making us stupid? And, and there again, on the [00:11:20] really dangerous front, you know, and I think it has how already happened, like we're obviously not that far down the AI path, but I think some child who recently did commit suicide, some young person, their parents found that [00:11:30] the instructions on how to commit suicide and stuff were.

Speaker 3: In the

Gary: chat. We're in the chat. So it's super, super concerning, right? Yeah. And uh, there again, I mean like you would say, all types of, well, especially

Speaker 3: in a [00:11:40] super lonely world where people don't dare to be open with anybody. Well, they don't.

Gary: They just don't. That's our culture. Super

Speaker 3: common. That's our culture, right?

Speaker 3: Run into it all the time. Well, now you, now you feel safe. With this [00:11:50] person that's, that understands, understands you just really weird. Exactly who you want them to be. Really weird. And that's not real life. Like we need that resistance in a real relationship. I'm gonna say

Gary: this, we need somebody saying, [00:12:00] hey, like it's okay that you're not okay, but you're definitely not okay.

Gary: Yeah. And like we don't live in that world where it's like you can't disagree and you can't, you can be whatever you want, but in a lot of ways you can't. [00:12:10] Yeah.

Speaker 3: It's quite concerning. Interesting. On, on that reminds me, uh, so, um. Trey stayed at a house for a couple days when he was here, and uh, the week following I was like, pretty down [00:12:20] all week and feeling crappy.

Speaker 3: And I think in part, I don't know a hundred percent, but I think in part it was. Being around him for a while. Like, he's so, so disciplined. [00:12:30] He's 56 years old. He is like a specimen, you know, in every area of his life. He's just very disciplined emotionally, uh, and in his health, in his spiritual walk and stuff like that.

Speaker 3: And I just felt like a heel after, [00:12:40] like, I'm just like, I'm so far off. Like I am so screwed up. And I just like, I'm like, I'm like, how am I supposed to like catch? I wasn't even thinking, comparing myself to Trey more just like. [00:12:50] Okay. I, I just have a long ways to go. Uh, that's fair. Yeah. And uh, and so I was just getting down all week and then I went for co uh, coffee with my buddy Steph I see every Friday.

Speaker 3: And [00:13:00] um, he's like, you just want control. I'm like, what do you mean? I was feeling inadequate. Right. And crappy. And if I was able to be super disciplined and [00:13:10] have all have it all together, then I would feel control. I wouldn't feel as inadequate. But the whole point of the gospel is that we are inadequate.

Speaker 3: That's who Jesus came for. Which brings us to chapter [00:13:20] 20. Yes. Good segue. Good segue. But that, you know, yeah. Like, and I, and I forgot it, and all of a sudden the piece came back, but I was trying to be like enough, you know, and, and, [00:13:30] and, yeah. It's backwards. Like it just, it never works. For

Gary: those of you just joining us, we are slowly working our way through Gentle and lowly [00:13:40] by Dane Orland, I think.

Gary: Yes. Or Ray Dane. Sorry. Should know that. Dane. Dane. He's right. His dad's Ray, I think. Okay. Anyways, chapter 20 this [00:13:50] week we're gonna, we're looking for book suggestions. We've had a few, but we, we'll start a new book after this. Yeah.

Speaker 3: This is uh, three chapters left. Title of this chapters are Lish Hearts [00:14:00] and His Lavish Heart.

Speaker 3: Law ish. Law ish. What would be a Lish heart? Do better, not good enough. [00:14:10] Try harder. Well, yeah. His explanation is the battle of the Christian life is to bring our, your own heart into alignment with Christ's. Okay, I get that. That is getting up each morning and [00:14:20] replacing the natural orphan mindset. So our natural orphan mindset would be, I guess, if you're an orphan, that you're just like, these aren't my real parents.

Speaker 3: I'm not like not wanted, not wanted, not wanted. The [00:14:30] natural or orphan mindset with a mindset of full and free adoption into the family of God through the work of Christ, your older brother who loved you and gave himself for you out of the [00:14:40] overflowing fullness of his gracious heart. So to actually believe that you're part of his family, not just.

Speaker 3: Uh, half br stepchild. Like, he's like, you're [00:14:50] in, you're fully in his family. You, by the way, do your kids struggle with this? Do they bring us up with you guys? Like, like you're, they're, they're

Gary: in the process of sorting it out in their low hearts. It's pretty heavy. [00:15:00] They asked some pretty heavy questions in the last week.

Gary: Yeah. Yeah. It's really sad. Just part of their day. Did you share one of 'em? Oh, just like, yeah, why didn't my, why didn't my visit dad come. [00:15:10] Come and get me, or stuff like that. Right. I think that they're, yeah, I just think it's their personal journey. They're, we have a very open dialogue about it. We let them ask any question they want.

Gary: We [00:15:20] try to be gentle and gracious and. Age appropriate responses. 'cause obviously some of them are 5, 6, 7 years old. But yeah, I think that we live in a, [00:15:30] we live in a world where you know, people can't, yeah, I think in our home we just wanna speak truth and love in all areas, and I think in this area there just needs to be a lot [00:15:40] of grace.

Gary: We really affirm the idea of just. Sorting it out in their hearts and that it's gonna be a journey. Like you think of every person that I've ever dealt with, who most of them have grown up in [00:15:50] relatively solid homes. And if we're gonna start comparing to all the homes that are out there, they live in relatively decent homes and like none of that matters.

Gary: We still, that doesn't mean they can't [00:16:00] problems. Well, yeah, that's where I'm going with that. It's like. You just think, Hey, everybody has stuff happen to them. And that stuff creates questions and, and our kids are gonna just have questions in a different area that other kids may not have. [00:16:10] Right. And that's fine.

Speaker 3: Well, I think I, so I, I'm learning more as, as well when I'm working with people is healing takes time and you, you need to struggle. [00:16:20] For a certain amount of time yourself to get better. Like I can't, or any counselor or whatever else. Yeah, can't help them. You can give pointers and stuff like that, but it's your own, [00:16:30] like your own journey, your own battle.

Speaker 3: And you can't speed it up necessarily. Well, you can. I mean, you can do hard work and grind it out. Grind, grind it out. And I think that's encouraged, but it's not like, it's like a car wreck, [00:16:40] right? Like you can't get out of that and just be like, oh my life's better now. Like it it,

Gary: no. And so, and that's a great example.

Gary: So denial is not. Healing. That's right. So saying, Hey, I'm [00:16:50] okay. Like I, yeah, it happened, but it doesn't bother me. Like that's, that's not, it's bullshit doing. Yeah. For lack of a better word. So I find it fascinating. It's like we [00:17:00] don't need to create problems that aren't there. Yeah. Right. Which people do that as well.

Gary: Yeah. But it's also just the idea of, hey, you wounds, having wounds is normal. And in our home, [00:17:10] like I say, I, I'm sure we're failing in a thousand ways, but I know that Marina are very much about. We are parenting the best we can and it is for sure not good enough for our kids. And it [00:17:20] is for, there are for sure areas where our children are gonna have to answer the question of, Hey, where, where are my, my biological parents?

Gary: It's fascinating that our kids, um, and so some of our children [00:17:30] that were adopted as infants, so obviously through different agencies, and then we have three children that were adopted, uh, through the Ministry of Children families. And those kids had two of them, for [00:17:40] sure. The other one. I think basically, not at all, but the two had a lot of visits with their parents and so it's fascinating how that term, like we cannot unlearn that term for [00:17:50] them.

Gary: Like their biological parents are their visit parents, which there again, it's sad. It's just, yeah, those visits were hard. Everything, the whole journey is hard. And I think that doesn't need to shape their [00:18:00] future. It doesn't need to, you know, but they're just gonna sort through their, uh,

Speaker 3: emotional payment that they have.

Speaker 3: Matt, Matt asked me to, uh, do a little talk at the men's breakfast coming up and, uh, I was thinking about what to say [00:18:10] and he wants me to talk about. Our need for like, um, meeting with other guys. Yeah. And, and being in community and being in groups, which kind of goes against our, um, desire to be not inadequate, [00:18:20] right.

Speaker 3: Because it kind of implies that you need the help of other people. Um, so I was thinking about this and it made me realize that like, we never graduate out of our daily, [00:18:30] um, neediness for God. Like we, we are always needy every day. Mm-hmm. Like, we're like, we don't want be needy. We wanna be [00:18:40] self-sufficient.

Speaker 3: I for sure don't wanna be No, it's uncom. But, but for a fact, we are needy. We, for God, every day. Yeah. Desperately. Desperately. And if we can admit that, the faster we can admit that, the easier it [00:18:50] is to call for help. Yeah. Being in community or whatever it's,

Gary: yeah. This, uh, chapter here, he, I don't know if this part stuck out to you, but he talks about the surface symptoms, right, of, you [00:19:00] know, things and he says, lushness of work works ness.

Gary: Is it by, is by its very nature undetectable because it's natural, not unnatural [00:19:10] to us, it feels normal of works to fall in people is what? Fishes to water. Um, and then it says. Just the idea of like, um, on the next [00:19:20] page it says, um, we are sinners. We sin not just in the past but in the present. And not only by our disobedience, but by our of works obedience, right?

Gary: So like [00:19:30] a lot of the things we do, and there again, this is. People probably don't ask this question enough, but just 'cause you're doing a good thing doesn't even mean you're supposed to be doing it. That's right. Right. Like just 'cause you're doing, like if you're, [00:19:40] first of all, if we're doing it literally at just outta box checking where a clanging symbol the Bible says, right.

Gary: And it says, even our righteousness are filthy rags, you know? So I think we often. [00:19:50] Like for me anyway, so I just live in the spot of like, oh, that was a good, you know, I'm trying to do the right thing. Trying to do the right, like if that is my posture of literally just, you know, like if there's not a Pharisee, a Pharisee.

Gary: And [00:20:00] I often do feel pharmaceutical actually in that sense where especially because very quickly. Um, if you're in a comparison game, which I think most people are to some degree, they always live through the [00:20:10] lens of looking around them. Um, it's just, you'll find somebody that's doing work you can always find That's right.

Gary: Or better or better, and then feel like garbage. That's, it's like, yeah, exactly. It's like, uh, you know, [00:20:20] we are, it says we are perversely resistant. To letting Christ love us. Yes. Right? Yes. And that line really stood out to me where it's like, so, and that's why we struggle with grace [00:20:30] so much. And a lot of people, I think we struggle with grace more than a lot of people, but a lot of people really struggle with the idea of what grace means.

Gary: 'cause none of us in our human state, we don't, we don't, we don't, can't

Speaker 3: fathom it. That's right. [00:20:40] That's why it's so important to have healthy relationship with your. Kids, because that's the first place that God teaches us what a he is like. As a, as a dad, we have to be a [00:20:50] resemblance of who God was. Yeah. One more quote from this.

Speaker 3: So John Newton, who wrote Amazing Grace, he, um, wrote a, a letter to a friend in March of [00:21:00] 1767, which is crazy that we're quoting this guy's letter to his buddy. Mm-hmm. Uh, however many years later. But he says, are you not amazed sometimes that you should have so much as a hope that a poor and [00:21:10] needy as poor and needy as you are, the Lord thinks of you?

Speaker 3: But let, but let not all you feel discourage you for if our physician is almighty, our [00:21:20] disease cannot be desperate. And if he casts on out that come to him, why should you fear? Our sins are many, but his mercies are are more, our sins are great, but as righteousness is greater, [00:21:30] we are weak, but he is power.

Speaker 3: Most of our complaints, this is the most important line for me. Most of our complaints are owing to unbelief and the remainder of our legal spirit. [00:21:40] Like it's we're, when we're complaining and, and doubting and stuff like that, it's because we're doubting that we're not enough. We're [00:21:50] not right. It's because we're our legal ness, that that's what we're thinking about.

Speaker 3: It's not because of like how gracious he describes himself. It's that we're just not doing the [00:22:00] right things, can't get it, which we're

Gary: usually not. So

Speaker 3: That's right. Anyways, chapter 23 to go, three to go. Then we'll switch to something else. [00:22:10] Um, do you, you think, this is a listener question, um, do you think all members of the [00:22:20] church should be fostering or adopting if they have the means?

Gary: Well, the short answer is no. Um, the [00:22:30] long answer would be, uh, way more people should be adopting and fostering than are. Um, and, uh. Way more people should probably be wrestling [00:22:40] with it. It's fascinating in our world 'cause it's a big part of our life and it's kind of our family story. People always say, oh, I thought of doing that.

Kyle: Hmm.

Gary: And I'm like, well, was that like the spirit prompting [00:22:50] you or was that just, hey, you thought, hey, that'd be a good thing to do. And then rethought and thought, no, I don't wanna do that. Like I don't, there again, I think it's similar to what we were talking about earlier. I don't think people in [00:23:00] general.

Gary: And myself included, really, like a lot of the times I'm not wrestling with things enough, right. I'm not really praying things through. Um, so that's, that's not [00:23:10] good. I think that. Way more people should be in the church, but people can just be, and people are, people are helping. I think when you have these kind of conversations, a lot of times the people [00:23:20] that are already doing a lot of good things feel super convicted and think they need to do more.

Kyle: Mm.

Gary: Which they might be supposed to be doing less. Like maybe they're just over, like there's people that totally spend way much time helping other [00:23:30] people and neglecting their own kids. So I, I fallen in that a lot where it's like, it's so easy to run around trying to solve everyone else's crisis instead of dealing with your own at home.

Gary: So,

Kyle: yeah, you

Gary: know, it's. It's [00:23:40] literally something that everybody should be wrestling with and journaling about and like, we're in the spot now where, you know, our sixth child is a foster child, lived with us a long, his whole life basically. [00:23:50] And it's kind of coming to, in the next year, it will come to ahead and be something we'll be.

Gary: Nothing may be solved, but things could really blow up or things could really change. And we're always like, Hey, what does our family [00:24:00] look like? Like is six kids enough? Like, is that what God's calling us to? Or is he calling us to be stretched even more? Is he, you know, sometimes he's probably not

Speaker 3: calling you to comfort and ease, though.[00:24:10]

Gary: No. And I think it's funny 'cause I had lunch with a guy yesterday with Mike and he was sit, we were talking exactly about that. Like it's fascinating how many Christians still, their primary [00:24:20] goal is to live comfortably. Mm-hmm. And that is not a Christian calling. No. Right. And it's like, is there anything wrong with doing nice things?

Gary: No. Is it wrong with nice dinners? No. Is it wrong to go on a nice holiday? No, [00:24:30] not necessarily. But if you're called to go on a mission trip instead that. You know, that winter with your family, you know, and that's the wrestle that we have. We're like, Hey, what are we, what are we teaching our kids? What values, you know, [00:24:40] what are, what are we doing with our resources?

Gary: Right. And I, I just think most people just kind of get into a habit of seeking whatever is fun, whatever is I've, I used to be called a hedonist by [00:24:50] my, my, my mother, I think. And like that was accurate. Like my whole goal was to have fun. Yeah. And to be a Christian hedonist. I wanted to be a Christian. He, I was definitely not a Christian.

Gary: Well, you know, you know what a Christian hedonist is? [00:25:00] No, it is

Speaker 3: that. That's John Piper, um, coined that phrase, I think so. He's, his, um, slogan is, whatever his ministry's don't waste your life. That's not God is [00:25:10] most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him. Okay? So we are most, we are happiest when we are glorifying him most, and he is most.

Speaker 3: Glorified [00:25:20] when we are the happiest in him. In him. In him. And so it's finding total joy in God as our greatest satisfaction. That'd be Christian hedonism.

Gary: Yeah. That would [00:25:30] be the goal probably of a Christian, I guess. It's just so foreign to what most of us are doing. We're seeking so many other areas of enjoyment.

Gary: And there again, I think, well, if you got as a religious thing, not a

Speaker 3: thing of [00:25:40] like

Gary: a relationship, a relationship don't give us joy. So I don't know. I, I struggle with it in the sense of like. I find it hard to believe that I would be called to adopt another child and you know, another [00:25:50] family. Me most people.

Gary: You guys are good. You good? No, I. I think that the beauty of there, again of our life even too, is that, [00:26:00] hey, first of all, we are really blessed with a lot of help and a lot of people have really stepped come alongside us, including my sister and other people, to really just be amazing blessing in our life and, and help us in the journey.[00:26:10]

Gary: And also like you just come to the end of yourself and. You know, literally there are days where you're just like, Hey, if, if we parent reasonably well today and get our kids to bed in one piece, and every, like, hey, we're just really blessed and [00:26:20] God's really helped us, right? Yeah. Whereas if you live in a space of always, what can I handle?

Gary: What can I handle? Is that really what we're called to? Yeah. Are we called to live that way with our finances? Like, hey, just always budgeting, always [00:26:30] perfect. You know, those are just, I don't think we wrestle near enough with stuff. I think that we, yeah. Live, we would consider it being conservative and prudent in all these positive terms, and I sometimes think those are just [00:26:40] cop outs for just being fearful and paranoid and self-reliant, right?

Gary: So

Speaker 3: I got a text this week from a guy, I'll be part of it. He goes, I want to throw in the towel and give up. [00:26:50] I've got praise music cranked, and I'm doing my best to fight this. I'm not weak. I will fight this. I will win. God is on my side, I know it. But this morning has been a struggle. So, [00:27:00] um, I said, first of all, I just told, told him I was pumped that he reached out and just opened up.

Speaker 3: Right? If that's, you need to get this stuff out. But he says, uh, I'm not weak. I'll [00:27:10] fight this. Um, but, uh, I had read just the day before, um, that, uh, the Bible verse about weakness. Because I think we should accept our weaknesses. [00:27:20] Um, 'cause the Bible passage says, um, but he said to me, my grace is sufficient for you, for my power has made perfect in weakness.

Speaker 3: Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my [00:27:30] weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me for the sake of Christ than I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I'm weak, then I am strong. [00:27:40] And I think in short, Paul's saying that his limitations and struggles become the very places where Christ's power shows up the strongest.

Speaker 3: It's the spiritual paradox of [00:27:50] strength through surrender and victory through dependence. Like you said, coming to an end of yourself. I think that's what it is. It's like saying, God, I can't do it. Like that's where he wants us help. Yeah. Like that's when he shows It's hard to be there. It's hard to live there.

Speaker 3: Right. We [00:28:00] resist it like the plague. Just call more people. Do more work. Yeah. Try harder. I'm trying so hard. Yeah. Well that's, it's all, it's all about him. [00:28:10] Anyway, if you do wanna be a little bit happier, it might be by moving to Southern Alberta because, um, anyone out there with an engineering or a project management background, or if you're in BC and wanna move out [00:28:20] there, I'm helping a fast growing company, Southern Alberta.

Speaker 3: Hire, uh, for a design build role. You are looking for someone who thinks like an engineer, manages projects, start to [00:28:30] finish and actually make stuff work, not just draw it on paper. Uh, so it's six figure position with profit share potential, working directly with the owner on custom design projects. So if you're a [00:28:40] hands-on problem solver who loves creating real world solutions, this might be an awesome fit.

Speaker 3: So if you're engineering background of some sort, don't have to be an engineer, but AutoCAD can make. [00:28:50] Automations work together, kind of like, you know, some, you have some welding background, things like that. Like, it's like a mix mash you gotta be able to create. So if you, uh, everything I'm not, yeah, [00:29:00] it's not one of those things I knew you're talking about.

Speaker 3: I, I would never be able to do this, but, so if you're looking for that or the, the marketing, um, manager, uh, in here, in chill BC is also open still, so. Okay.

Gary: [00:29:10] That's a good job too. Yeah, I had, uh, so today is, well when this comes out, we'll be next week, October 15th. On. So if you're listening this, if you're the day of [00:29:20] the, the auction party.

Gary: So I thought to Steve yesterday,

Speaker 3: we might tonight do a live podcast. I told him, I said the resistance to it towards it is I don't wanna get any of the technical slides set up, [00:29:30] set up to record.

Gary: Just go, go simple. Like just record it on a phone or something. Just go Mickey Mouse. No, you can't handle it.

Gary: It's gotta be perfect. Well, the audio will be terrible. Who cares? [00:29:40] Well then I don't wanna put, what's the point of publishing it? Oh. Just a unique experience. Right. I do not wanna do one. They're alive. I can tell you right now, you'll be doing that one with somebody else. We're not doing that. I was [00:29:50] gonna be a brief case in the morning.

Gary: No, I'm not there. No. Yeah. Do it with, uh, bring Matt in.

Speaker 3: Okay. Well, we're talking about, by the way, uh, Gary's auction time.

Gary: Yeah. OC October 15, uh, free dinner to anyone that's [00:30:00] living in cello or surrounding areas wants to come out. Big party usually. You know, a thousand people at least. Yeah. Be a fun time.

Gary: There's bouncy castles for the kids and all kinds of stuff to do. [00:30:10] Check out all the auction items. October 16, the auction closes starting nine in the morning. So be end our fall auction. Be interesting to see it. Got a lot of stuff, right. Lot of stuff. Yeah. [00:30:20] Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, our fall auctions are not huge.

Gary: Like they're, they're between 1.2 and 1.8 million. I would say in sales where our spring auction will be like, our biggest one is [00:30:30] probably three and a half million dollar sale. So yeah, our fall auction's fraction of the size, but.

Speaker 3: Yeah, we'll see. Whatever, whatever. I'm working on Tuesday.

Gary: Okay. Yeah. Taking stuff [00:30:40] in or doing something.

Gary: He just, somebody said I'm doing interview

Speaker 3: interviews. You got asked me to do interviews with people coming in. Okay. And, uh, I know something else I just wanna write. Okay. Man.

Gary: Farmers do not like [00:30:50] interviews. It is not gonna go. We just

Speaker 3: need a 25% of people say yes.

Gary: And here are you willing to do a quick interview on why use Okay.

Gary: Quin Auctions? Yeah. Yeah. That's a great idea with video. Yeah. Okay. [00:31:00]

Speaker 3: That should be good. No, I think you'll do a great job of that. Okay. Um, you put a note in here, it says marriage wedding planning, total [00:31:10] disaster.

Gary: Oh yeah. I was so fired up about this. Different people in my life are planning on getting married, thinking about getting married, and I spoke with family members of mine and.[00:31:20]

Gary: Friends, and we all agreed that people should be allowed to elope.

Speaker 3: Yes.

Gary: And more eloping should happen. Yes. More marriages should be very small. Yes. People should spend way more [00:31:30] time on just literally realizing how much of a. Bugger it is being married and how difficult marriage can be. Yes. Rather than on spending all their fine, they should cut their [00:31:40] budget right in half and put a grant aside.

Gary: All that money probably between two and 10,000 and have it just saved up for marriage counseling. 'cause they'll probably need it. Yes. Um, especially if they're just

Speaker 3: because your [00:31:50] parents want their invite friends tell the pound sand man, tell 'em the pound sand. Just 'cause it has to be in that building.

Speaker 3: Don't say don't like that. Be

Gary: respectful. Don't say you don't tip. Don't

Speaker 3: clip this.

Gary: Don't clip this. No, but it's the [00:32:00] idea of, and parents like, it's, it's embarrassing. It's like, do you want your kids to be successful in their marriage? Well, like, they're literally supposed to be leaving and cleaving. This is the journey.

Gary: Let them plan their wedding. And [00:32:10] if they do weird stuff, who cares? Like, just let 'em, let 'em own it. Yeah. I mean, for me. Oh yeah. I brought this up with Marie and I was asking her, because for me, like our marriage, our wedding day kind of sucked. Our honeymoon [00:32:20] sucked. Early. Marriage is a struggle. Our marriage is definitely the best now it's ever been.

Gary: We've had some really crappy times and I think like, are we the only ones or do people just not talk about it? She said, [00:32:30] people just don't talk about it. People just feel awkward saying that their honeymoon greater, that their like, I

Speaker 3: just thought I was

Gary: just oblivious to even what a good marriage is. But I guess the idea of like your wedding day.[00:32:40]

Gary: Do you remember your wedding day definitively?

Speaker 3: Uh, I remember these parts of it. Okay. But it's not like it, my sister actually had a good, good one for me, uh, um, [00:32:50] leading up to it. I was, started piano lessons like six months before I got married because I wanted to play Nicole a song on our wedding day.

Speaker 3: Okay. That totally does

Gary: not surprise me. You and I are somewhat

Speaker 3: similar.

Gary: I hate to admit

Speaker 3: [00:33:00] it, but that's something I would do. So like, oh yeah. Do two lessons. I'm just hating this. Yeah. And, uh, and so I tell, told my sister about it. She's like, Kyle, don't worry about that, man. Just be a good husband once you're married.

Speaker 3: [00:33:10] Who cares about your marriage day? No one's gonna remember playing a song. Nobody care. Nobody cares. I was like, done. Nobody care. Cancel it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Didn't do it. And then I was still half-assed for quite a while.

Gary: Yeah. I had some few experiences in the [00:33:20] wedding that just weren't pleasant, and then I just think the whole day, like I hardly remember it.

Gary: I don't like, I mean, I remember what we did. I could tell you kind of how it went, but like I don't, it wasn't, I don't know. Also my personality [00:33:30] is such that it was. It was just about getting married and then it was, you know, yeah. The next thing. The next thing. Right. Exactly. So a total disaster. But I, I just feel like people spend so much money on it.

Gary: Okay. Our [00:33:40] cultures. So you,

Speaker 3: you, you gave a whole bunch of beans on the wedding. Yeah. But like what happened? These people were stressing out about how much money they should spend and or Yeah. And

Gary: exactly what you said, it's like everybody has an opinion on who you should invite. Some people you think you should keep it [00:33:50] really small.

Gary: Some people think you should invite every uncle and aunt, which ties into another show note I had. It's like the idea of, of just. Yeah, just trying to like, what is the wedding for [00:34:00] Right? And really like the wedding is, you know, I mean in my opinion it's like, hey, like it's a covenantal thing with God. It's super serious.

Gary: Um, do people even realize how serious is No. They spent so much energy just [00:34:10] planning this day, this one day of this big celebration, which is all outwardly stuff and they're just not even thinking clearly. Right? Like you think of even a wedding sermon. Who is able to [00:34:20] listen to their wedding sermon with all the stuff that's going on in your head and the stuff you're doing later in your pictures and like that's an important sermon, like, yeah.

Gary: You should really be paying attention. That should be done in a [00:34:30] very sacred way or simple way where people could kind of like, Hey, hear the word. Right. And I just think our whole culture has made this into a big deal. And people spend way more effort on [00:34:40] industry getting married than staying married.

Speaker 3: Huge industry, right? Huge industry. Huge industry. Throw crazy money at it.

Gary: Yeah. It's embarrassing.

Speaker 3: I think it that's gonna start going down though. I mean, it's fricking just, everything's so [00:34:50] expensive. People getting poor and poor and

Gary: Oh, some people say there's still a lot of money out there. That ties into my other piece where it's like.

Gary: Um, it came up the other day 'cause we were looking, um, through the [00:35:00] Neil's, uh, book of families and I forget how many thousands of people our Neils is like, that came from, from one mother and father. I think the couple was born in the [00:35:10] late 18 hundreds and it was just this, one of the guys, there was an, was an offspring from that family and he said, oh, wife pile's the first cousins.

Gary: I don't know. And he couldn't believe it. I said, oh, I don't either. Like, me too. [00:35:20] And it always kind of upset certain people in my family where it's like, what do you mean you're not gonna go visit cousin so-and-so if you're in there? I am like, you just can't be close to that many people. No, my parents both from, from a family of [00:35:30] 10

Speaker 3: and both my parents.

Speaker 3: Both of them? Yeah.

Gary: Okay.

Speaker 3: And I lived So you would have

Gary: piles of first cousins?

Speaker 3: Yeah. And I lived in Canada most of my life. They're all in Holland. And so, I [00:35:40] don't know, like 98%. You wouldn't even know

Gary: their names, right?

Speaker 3: Wouldn't know their names. No. Neither. I dunno know the names of Muslim mom. Neither aunts and uncles.

Speaker 3: You don't? No. Well, I just have zero interaction with these [00:35:50] people. No, it is fun when you get to run into them because you're like, at least half of you is nuts as I am.

Gary: Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It'd be a, a bunch of 'em that have some big, except my cousins

Speaker 3: hang out with some of my cousins and, [00:36:00] and they're just insane.

Speaker 3: It kin spirit, man. It's amazing. You just like, it is

Gary: fascinating how the genetic makeup is pretty strong. It's for sure. It's so fun. Anyways, I just think the whole idea of. I [00:36:10] don't, there again, there might be people that disagree, but I just think you cannot have close relationship with all your family and you need to pick the people and you need to do a good job connecting with them.

Gary: But the idea of like, oh, I'm gonna be super close [00:36:20] friends with all my first cousins, like need to send them like no,

Speaker 3: yeah,

Gary: knock it off. And very connected to the wedding thing where be intentional. Have people that you're close to that do know everything about you. [00:36:30] Stay close to your your tribe. And then for the rest it's like, Hey, obviously B Corp, you all be, but it's not human.

Gary: It's not humanly possible unless you want like a. Ton of presents or something. [00:36:40] That's a different issue. That's, do you think that's why people have big weddings?

Speaker 3: I think personally, yeah. For sure.

Gary: Oh, it's, it's expensive. It's crazy. I think we spent [00:36:50] like, I wanna say 15 grand getting married and like that was a lot of money.

Gary: That was in 2010? Yeah. 15 years. Ironically, on October 16th auction day, that's our anniversary. Okay. I don't

Speaker 3: feel the bad end, 'cause I think I [00:37:00] was 22,000. Uh, on in the 2015 that might have included honeymoon to Jamaica. Probably did. 'cause that's a lot of money. Yeah. [00:37:10] On that note, that's all you got. Well, I got one more.

Speaker 3: Ca Police chief in Ontario says, if you ever find yourself [00:37:20] the victim of a home invasion, we are urging citizens not to take matters into their own hands. The best defense is to comply.

Gary: He did backpedal on that a bit. We talked about this already, didn't we? Another episode [00:37:30] or not? I don't think so. No.

Gary: Total disaster. What? You

Speaker 3: got a, you a guy walks into your house. What are you doing? Comply. Comply. Turn the other cheek. [00:37:40] I don't think I'm gonna do that. No, I'm not sure I will either. You got a gun beside your bed or are you only in the safe? I have a lot of guns, but they're all in the safe. Okay. It's a good [00:37:50] answer on the podcast that they're in the safe.

Gary: My

Speaker 3: dad

Gary: used to have a baseball

Speaker 3: bat beside his bed.

Gary: I think that, I mean, ultimately, like you're just, it's a, it's a bad day if you [00:38:00] like. I, I think planning for very rare circumstances, you wanna be careful how much you do that in life. That's, I was talking to somebody the other day too, even about like, you know, insurance.

Gary: Like we live [00:38:10] in an insurance society of everything, of everything, and it's basically creates fear. It creates aversion to risk, which aversion to risk creates a paranoid society [00:38:20] where nothing moves forward. The idea of, hey, everybody's watching, I can't screw up. That's not healthy. No. The people that have shaped the world look like idiots.

Gary: They were kooks [00:38:30] and they did some strange things. Yes. And then they finally hit it outta the park and everybody said, that guy's a rockstar. Exactly. So be one of those people. Yes. Don't care what people think about you. Yeah. Care less know what you

Speaker 3: believe. Yeah. And [00:38:40] full pull ahead. Yeah. Yeah. Full pull.

Speaker 3: Especially in today's world. Yeah, like the kinda chaos man. We need people to stand up

Gary: and go make, make, take a stand and make changes, [00:38:50] right? And so, I dunno, it's, it's hard not everybody's called to be that everybody has different personalities. But the idea, idea, somebody said to me, oh yeah, your daughter like, oh the school.

Gary: Yeah, they're careless. It's like, seriously, are we gonna [00:39:00] live in that culture where somebody gets hurt and the first thing you think of is, hey, like try to get money from someone. Like, no, everybody's trying their best and they're all failing miserably. 'cause we're human beings and we need to be gracious.

Gary: And obviously there's [00:39:10] consequences for actions, but like. The world just needs a lot gentler, kinder people who are less critical. And unfortunately, because everybody's under a microscope and everything's being filmed, [00:39:20] it's easy to literally just find stuff all day and be an armchair quarterback and pick stuff apart.

Gary: But I don't know.

Speaker 3: All you podcasts?

Gary: Yeah, just talk, just verbal, diarrhea, whole. It feels like I've talked a lot. [00:39:30]

Speaker 3: That's good. Hung out with cows a lot, right? Didn't get chance to talk much this morning. Not bad guy that

Gary: didn't wanna come in in here. Record. Not bad for a guy that didn't wanna record. That's true.

Speaker 3: Anyways, if you guys have, [00:39:40] um, people I should interview. Hit us up or if you have scenarios that you want to, some people talk about some.

Gary: Hmm. Did you have dickering

Speaker 3: on?

Gary: No. [00:39:50]

Speaker 3: He'd be a good one though. Yeah,

Gary: him. Do you think he would do it? Yeah, he would do it. He's been on other podcasts. He's got a great story.

Gary: Okay, guy's. Wired for sound. Okay. He does know me. He was one of the, he was the [00:40:00] first one of the

Speaker 3: first or second guys I worked for.

Gary: Yeah, I've worked for him too. Yeah. Playback yelled at me like crazy. Really? 12 years old.

Speaker 3: Quickly. Quickly,

Gary: let's go. Let's go [00:40:10] faster. Not good enough. Not, well, you didn't even say that.

Gary: Just quicker. Just as long as you're moving fast, just give her thanks listening guys. Have a great week. [00:40:20] Cheers.

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