March 5, 2025

Sin Levels, Anime, & Blended Families - The Briefcase and the Barn - EP 33

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Kyle: [00:00:00] Welcome back to another episode of the Briefcase in the Bar with me and Gary, a series of the Furiously Curious show where we talk about business, Christianity, life, and more. Show sponsor is, go ahead Gary.

Gary: Tech Alliance, auto repair service, downtown Rosedale. Yeah. Hopefully your car doesn't break down, but if it does, you'll get treated very well there.

Right in the heart of Rosedale, can't miss it. And for the other half of you that don't live in Chilliwack, well, furious, furious coaching. Yeah, that's right. Support your, uh, local, uh, I mean, it's mechanics is kind of, when you're not mechanically inclined like I am, like it's like going to the dentist, right?

You just wonder if you're totally getting hosed. Yeah,

Kyle: we

Gary: talked about that

Kyle: last time.

Gary: Did we? Okay. We don't need to talk about

Kyle: it again. Only place I've ever been able to

Gary: trust is, uh, Fraser Tech. Great guys. That's right. We did talk about this before. It's all coming back to me.

Kyle: Anyways. Yeah, it'd be a crazy week for me.

Recorded six times. We're going to be six recordings in the last [00:01:00]

Gary: Okay, pounding out the content.

Kyle: Are you going to release one of those every week? I was going to do every other week, but now I'm like looking at like the end of April for like something I'm recording tomorrow. So I'm like, I think it might go to weekly, just every Saturday.

So I've got Mike Schutman, that's coming out, that would have come out last week, Saturday. Yeah. And then I recorded with Jen from Safe Families.

Gary: You already recorded that. How was that?

Kyle: Good? Yeah, it was really awesome. This morning I recorded with a pastor in Gaza. He was a pastor in Gaza for the last 10 years.

Fascinating. Yeah. My brother, Gilbert, who lives in Egypt, put me in touch with him. He's in Egypt now too. And he escaped after the war, crazy, crazy stuff. But yeah, interesting, just getting his view on like the whole conflict as well and some of that. And it's rough, it's a rough English and it's a remote recording.

So it wasn't.

Gary: Not as great as in person. Not as great as in person,

Kyle: but it was still good. Tomorrow with, uh, recording with Matt Keens. From Salvation Army? Keen. Keen? Matt Keen?

Gary: There's, he is, uh, he does that multi personality disorder though, so [00:02:00] you could just call him Keens.

He has his own podcast too. Does he really? Well, he did with his wife. Okay. Yeah, Super Keen, I think it was called. And I was a pretty faithful listener and I was, Somewhat disappointed when it stopped. Okay. And it was really, I mean, I know them very well. They're very good friends. They're awesome people, but, uh, they're very involved in their school.

Kyle: Yeah. I went out for coffee with him first. He wanted to go for coffee first before we recorded. And, uh, yeah, it's going to be really good. I recorded last week, Friday with my coach, Kim. She was here, she was in town. That was really interesting. She talks about what it was like coaching me as well. And just talk about coaching and what it was like coaching.

Uh, her worldview, of course, is very different. She's a liberal and she's Jewish and she's Toronto. And so what it's like coaching. Very

Gary: different. Yeah. A mixed up Dutch person from Chilliwack. Yeah.

Kyle: Ed Less is coming on. He's a doctor. Oh. Remember? Yeah. Okay. I read his stuff. Yeah. That's, that'll be recording next week.

Yeah. Yeah. So a lot, lots, lots of recording. So, yeah, I think, I think I'm gonna go to weekly, probably go to [00:03:00] weekly cause I need to, I need to get it all out.

Gary: Lots of content. Good for you. Yeah. Um, is recording podcasts one of your favorite things? Mm hmm. Yeah.

Kyle: Not recording podcasts so much as having the conversations with the people.

Yeah. They're just, you just learn so much. It's interesting.

Gary: If I could do

Kyle: it full time, I would.

Gary: Okay. And you'd have to get a lot of subscribers or you'd have to get, have enough views that you would get advertising money. Cause some podcasts, obviously we just get a lot of money from Google on YouTube, if they're having a lot of

Kyle: views.

Um, but it's weird right now. So just, I'm open books. I don't care about like the last month and a half. Uh, our views on this podcast have gone down. We were getting like 750 views an episode. Now it's around like 500. Okay. And, um, we've had like 20 cancellations of the Patreon. Okay. And so, yeah, I just have no idea why, so, but I'm just like.

Gary: Nobody sending you an email saying, Hey, I canceled because you said this and it was offensive. No, no. Because that's usually.

Kyle: So, yeah, yeah. Tight [00:04:00] economy. They have no idea. Bored

Gary: out of their mind.

Kyle: But I said, when I got started, I wasn't going to worry about that. No, it doesn't matter. I do not care. I'm just going to be myself.

Gary: had somebody reach out, uh, in Southern Alberta. Who's, uh, A faithful listener, I would assume a regular listener and they text me encouragement. It was a, uh, a gentleman and he was willing to help, uh, lead freedom sessions, Southern Alberta. So it's pretty cool. So that was an answer to prayer. And I've had a

Kyle: bunch of people out there asking me about it.

When it's going to happen, it will probably

Gary: happen in the fall, but it's going to be, yeah, I don't know. We'll see. I have two people that are kind of working on it and I'm, I won't have anything to do with it, but just, yeah, it's super exciting. I, uh, had a, uh, back to your podcast. I had a, uh, We had friends from Saskatchewan over that we were in a contest with them, an outstanding young farmer in 2017.

Marie and I competed in this farming contest, so to speak, more of just like a community. I mean, it is, they make it a contest because. People don't want to be a part of something if there's not a bit of competing and it's good for sponsorship to have Contests, but anyways this couple from Saskatchewan was down [00:05:00] visiting and they're awesome people and they're big grain farmers Regenerative farming which is they would say it's better than organic, but it's something completely different where they're like hardly any spray hardly any Chemicals hardly any chemical fertilizer I should say But yeah, and they also like make their own flour so they were here for like a baking conference because they're you know, they have like 4, 500 acres or The 15, I don't know, huge grain farm.

Anyways, they're, they were just here selling, they're promoting their, their flour product to bakers from all over. And, uh, I was just talking about the podcast and I said, Hey, like the other, they thought it was funny. I was on a podcast, but I said, your other episodes are actually, I find them. They're way better.

They're way better. Like there's better content. I mean, you're talking to people. Is it because it's long format or it's because it's in depth or it's.

Kyle: Well, I mean, if you and me were the same people every week, and it's roughly the same type of content every week. Right. And so it's like, you're more following us as individuals in, in the long form stuff every week is different.

So like the conversation I had with my, with Kim is so different. It's so different. It's just like, [00:06:00] it's just, it's very unique and, and you're learning from a specific person and it's fresh and new. And so, yeah.

Gary: Interesting.

Kyle: How was your week? Yeah,

Gary: good. A lot of sick kids in our house, so, um, yeah, I stayed home Sunday morning and, uh, listen to a few different things.

One of the things I listened to was, uh, and this is a plug for another podcast, uh, Matt Chandler, who's a pastor in Texas has a podcast called the overcomers. Mm. And very interesting discussion, um, with a Catholic lady who's same sex attracted and talks about that and just highly recommend that episode.

He has lots of good ones on his spot, but that one was, I just listened to recently. And cause I know a lot of people that do struggle with that. And, uh, also even Christians, like, Hey, this is just something where, and especially in our culture where like we, we as Dutch people put sins on the pedestals and worse spots, lower spots.

We, we, We say we don't, but practically we do [00:07:00] act as the judge, jury, and the executioner. And so, yeah, it was just, it was interesting with the background. Or at least on,

Kyle: especially on the shame side, at least, like there's. No, we just, I mean, all people are

Gary: judgmental, but

Kyle: I feel like, so anyways. It's interesting, that ties into something.

I went out with some, uh, with lunch, out for lunch with someone last week. And, uh, they said they were talking to someone and they said that they were going to meet with me and, uh, they're like, are you, like, are you sure that's a good idea? Do you know, like what Kyle's all done? And like, and, uh, um, in the past that would have crushed me if someone would have, would have said that.

And, you know, like the shame and stuff like that. But, um, I like. If you read Romans 3, you know, like my heart, that's much, in fact, I cheated or whatever and everything else that went on and stuff like that's nothing compared to what Romans 3 says. Like my heart's like an open grave. My heart, like it's, it's, it's much worse.

We're much worse than we actually think we are and we're all equally evil and in need of Jesus. Um, and, uh, and so it really doesn't like, you know, [00:08:00] there's, there's no scale. Like we, we need to, we need to be saved. And it ties into another conversation I was having with Nicole. My wife and she's like, something, I was referring to her heart or something else like that.

And she goes, my heart's like a pit of snakes. And I'm like, well, uh, but it, I mean, that ties into Romans three again. Yes, that is what our hearts are, especially apart from Jesus. But she was saying like what we shouldn't be so surprised when people point out sin in our lives or are critical of something we're doing or like call us out on something.

Like sometimes we're offended when someone does that because we're like, Oh, we're not that bad or our pride and stuff like that. But. You know, if you read Romans three, which I'll, I'll just read a little piece here. It says, um, no, no one is righteous. Not even one. No one is truly wise. No one is seeking God.

All have turned away and become useless. No one does good. Not a single one. Their talk is foul, like a stench from an open grave. Their tongues are filled with lies. Snake [00:09:00] venom drips on their lips. Bit of snakes. Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness, they rush to commit murder, destruction and misery always follow them, they don't know where to find peace, they have no fear of God at all.

Like when someone points out something wrong in our lives or something we need to work on, we shouldn't be surprised, we should be like, oh that makes sense, yeah, like we're gonna have lots of things that we need to change and work on. We should be surprised when someone points out good, like oh that's weird, um, like when we, when we're actually, uh, doing something that is Christ like, uh, and, and, and, um.

You know, according to, according to scripture. Um, but I think we, we too quickly have way too high of a view of ourselves.

Gary: After cause we think from such humanistic terms, I had, uh, yeah, anyways, I was going to say another quote, but I can't find it now. So it doesn't matter. Lots of, uh, stuff in the notes I saw too. So

Kyle: what do you, how do you, like when someone talks, when you hear someone has talked really negatively about you, how do you, Oh,

Gary: I totally

Kyle: get

Gary: [00:10:00] hurt.

Super hurt.

Kyle: Right. I'm such a

Gary: baby. Oh yeah. I'm such a baby. I care so much what people think

Kyle: and, and, uh, and just knowing that, Hey, like it's yeah, no, I'm still pretty

Gary: sensitive. I mean, I also feel like I have a pretty healthy, like I have a pretty good understanding of my areas of weakness, even though it still stings when it's said.

So like, it's not. It's probably not as shocking as someone that has completely avoided anybody ever criticizing them. Like I've done enough stuff and I do enough deals where and I even business wise I've screwed up so bad so many times and left people hanging or I got, somebody's criticized me. It's like, yeah, it sucks, but, um, say sorry.

And yeah, I'm not a, you know what, just apologize. Right. So I, but you know, it still stings. I'm, I'm way too sensitive. I cared way too much. But people think, although I do feel like you probably don't care enough what people think. So there's somewhere in the middle is the healthy balance, right? If, well, it depends,

Kyle: like, I will always listen to what someone, someone's criticism and someone has to say about me, like, you don't want to like.

Not listen to anybody, but their, what their opinion is [00:11:00] of me is like Not relevant like it doesn't doesn't change anything like it's like the people that are really close to you that their opinions matter I think we talked about it before I just

Gary: I know but I do think that there's this level of If people are talking you directly like if people have it like what people are gossiping about is a whole nother issue But if people directly do approach you about something and have an issue if there's something you're doing I think first of all if someone has the courage to do that We should be really gracious and hearing that but that's not what I mean when I say I don't care what someone

Kyle: thinks

Gary: It's just like the person that's beaking off about, Hey, why would somebody even go have a lunch with you?

You're such a piece of work.

Kyle: Like I just

Gary: yeah

Kyle: Yeah, like yeah, you know, it was it was like you're right. It's so bad. Jesus needed to die Like, you know, I did I have things to work on and I need grace and

Gary: yeah Yeah, I do feel like that whole idea is, and I mean, I was going to find it, but there was a Tim Keller quote, somebody posted this morning on social media, which was great, where it's like [00:12:00] he basically, and I'm going to butcher it now, but you know, you're way worse than you could ever think and, and basically, you know, God loves you more than you could ever imagine is that idea, right?

And I don't, I don't both those concepts, but We try to live somewhere in this weird spot of like, Hey, we obviously don't understand gracefully because we're human and it's, it's beyond our comprehension, but also like, yeah, it's just not how we operate or always most people are scorekeeping. So,

Kyle: but also, I mean, the other part of Romans three, and I've talked to a bunch of people about it this week is it says, obviously the law is applies to those to whom it was given for its purpose is to keep people from having excuses and to show that the entire world is guilty before God.

For no one can ever be made right with God by doing what the law commands. The law simply shows us how sinful we are. But now God has made us right, has made us, sorry. But now God has shown us a way to be made right with him without keeping the requirements of the law. As was promised in the writings of Moses and the prophets long ago.

We are made right with God by placing our faith in Jesus Christ. [00:13:00] And this is true for everyone who believes, no matter who we are, for everyone has sinned. We all fall short of God's glorious standard. Yet God in his grace freely makes us right in his sight. He did this through Jesus Christ, Christ Jesus, when he freed us from the penalty of our sins.

And I mean, that's, what else do we have? Like we can't boast in anything we have, we've done. It's, it is all Jesus. I think that's why it's called good news.

Gary: We were asked to talk about anime.

Kyle: Oh yeah. Okay. I'll read that. Switching subjects. This is a message we got in. I don't know what to say about this, but.

Gary: Not very often.

Kyle: You guys should discuss anime. Seriously, so many families don't realize that their kids are watching porn or really dark stuff when they look at this garbage.

I could tell you stories of kids addicted to this stuff and are being exposed at a young age to it without parents doing their homework. The mental health crap that comes along with this stuff is unreal. Anyways, it's a rabbit hole once you start digging into it. [00:14:00] I advise you don't Google it. I hate rabbit holes.

Yeah, but it's a, it's like a, I think it's like a cartoon type pornography.

Gary: Well, it's not necessarily pornography, I don't think. No? No, I don't, I mean, whatever now, whoever's listening and understands the stuff is going to be annoying. But maybe they need to come on the podcast and, and I wouldn't be

Kyle: surprised though, if a lot of this stuff is happening and parents have no idea.

I think there's a lot of

Gary: What I, what I will say, because my only, um The reason I would agree with, with this comment, uh, that this person said is that, um, I should say it's a lady that sent this in, um, great lady. Anyways, they, uh, when we were in Japan, when we were adopting our daughter in 2016, I had never been to an Asian country before.

I haven't been back since we plan on going, but, uh, it was very interesting because, um, there's lots of things that struck me as very different about Japanese culture. Um, very, uh, distant and very reserved. Uh, very little communication, you know, like, I mean, there's way less now in [00:15:00] Canada too, cause everyone's on their devices when they're on a train or they're, you know, in a public place.

But at that time it was probably still better here. And like there, and everybody was on their device. Everybody was checked out. Everybody has headphones on. Um, so that was fascinating. And anime, that was the first time that I had like, I'd probably seen a cartoon book or maybe the cover of a movie at some point in movies, but like, I don't really know anything about it.

And there, it was very, very prevalent. And there again, this, it'd be interesting to hear the, the, the backstory. And I didn't do any homework on this. So probably don't really have too much more to add, but it, but definitely like inappropriate and definitely like this idea of like, Hey, there's people that there's, this is a whole genre of probably filth and degradation that I, you know, that's out there if you did, did any digging.

So I wonder because my kids, especially my oldest, but like probably all of our children. I don't know if this is connected now people are really going to judge us, judge me, but the like, I wonder if it, if it's connected to the, um, attraction of graphic novels and stuff. Like my kids love graphic novels, [00:16:00] graphic novels, isn't like superhero stuff or any graphic novel, like everything from dire of a wimpy kid or these types of books where it's like everything in.

Yeah. Like, and it's so foreign to me. I never grew up reading any of that. Now I went through a phase of Archie comics. And so they're also reading Archie comics, which is total trash. Somebody said, Hey, it's a season. It's a phase. We'll get through it. But I just feel like my childhood, or at least the better parts were like the reading, like, you know, and, and they do do that too.

Our kids are big readers, but it's just like, you know, Swiss family Robinson and all these types of books. Or I read Bruno and Boots as a kid. Like, I don't know if any Gordon Corman books, like they were, you know, probably the kids are big. Misbehave. Maybe that's why I turned into such a meathead at school, but like, it was just pretty good stories, right?

Like actual stories or, uh, Ronald Dahl or just, it was pretty good authors, right? So.

Kyle: There is a lot more, um, good, uh, stories like that coming out, um, from a Christian worldview. Um, that teach really good lessons. I went to Keith and Kristen Getty's, um, sing, uh, conference a couple of years ago. Okay. And they usually have like a huge bookstore in, [00:17:00] in, in the, in the conference.

And that's where there's just like, uh, there's just so many good books and, um, like that Pilgrim's Progress kids. For kids. Great, great book. Yeah. It's so awesome. Really cool. Um, uh, anybody that's, uh, I'll put a link in the description for that. Um, anybody that's want to teach that Pilgrim's Progress to their kids, but like all in the in their cartoon version and.

And, um, there's a lot of good stuff, good stuff out there. My,

Gary: my assumption that this comment came from, and like I say, we didn't discuss it with her at all, but I, I'm thinking it comes from probably parents being naive. Yes. They're thinking this is somewhat of a cartoonish thing or maybe not as damaging.

And then probably when you get down the path that there's garbage there somewhere. Right. So probably just a word of caution. I mean, for all of us that have children and it's, I mean, our kids are just not at that age yet, but a lot of people, I'm sure they're listening. Yeah, but he's not having like, we have a computer in the kitchen and it's supervised and he's only allowed to do one thing and it's not like, you know what I mean?

There's no, there's no, uh, it's the handheld device in the bedroom or, or out of parent's sight that instantly a kid, if the phone is not locked up that they're. I remember a counselor

Kyle: saying that at a [00:18:00] conference one time, she goes, I'd rather have my kid have a Playboy in his drawer. In his bedroom, than a phone,

Gary: at least you knew what the extent of the depravity was going to be.

Kyle: Okay. Switching subjects last week. I, uh, Dan Wolfe invited me to a group of guys to go watch a movie. Okay. And so, uh, went and did that and it's called the forge. That's the movie. My good friends, Joseph Pohl and Pete Sluwig were with me there and they're like, we need to be a, you need to shout us out on the podcast.

So I'm like, okay, Pete, I can do that. I can talk about you. Pete's a great guy. I'm surprised Pete listens. Most of the time. He's also a Romans 3 kind of guy too though.

Gary: He's for sure one of the 20 that quit paying.

Kyle: Um, anyways, this, this movie, The Forge, I highly recommend that you watch it. And for anybody that's listening, it's really good, but it's, it's a movie about, um, mentorship and discipleship and discipleship and how important that is, um, to live a good Christian life.

Is [00:19:00] it a

Gary: good movie?

Kyle: Yes. Is it

Gary: interesting? Yeah. Okay.

Kyle: I enjoyed it. I, I don't watch a very many movies, but my attention span is not that good. Like the only reason I was able to pay you watch 30

Gary: second movies on, uh, in the reels. Yeah.

Kyle: That's

Gary: about it, but

Kyle: it's, um, yeah.

Gary: Discipleship mentorship. Um, is it good?

Cause it's about discipleship and mentorship or is it a good, like, is it an interesting story? Is it,

Kyle: that's a fairly interesting story. Like it's not, it's not like.

Gary: It's not a 10 movie.

Kyle: No, I mean it's still a Christian movie with an intentional message in it and stuff like that. But it's, it's wholesome and it's, it's, it's challenging and it makes you think about like, you know, one of the things he says in there, he goes, are you doing the cha cha in your Christian walk?

Which is one step forward, one step back. Like you're just kind of like, you're just kind of staying in one spot. You're not letting yourself be challenged by other Christian men and you're not, um, you know. Actually changing, you know, you're just, um, staying stuck and, and yeah, just, it's just, it's just really worth, I think it's worth watching.

Um, so, [00:20:00] uh, definitely, definitely recommend that to anybody. Okay, moving on to gentle and lowly. It's a book we're going through, uh, on the podcast here. We're doing one chapter a week, uh, the heart of Christ for sinners and sufferers, and we are on chapter four, uh, which is titled able to sympathize. Um, which comes from the, the, uh, Bible verse Hebrews four verse 15.

We do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses. But one who in every respect has been tempted as we are yet without sin. Did you enjoy the chapter? I did. I read it today. Um, what stood out to you? Two pieces. Um, first, um, first how, uh, the, the, the verse after the verse I just read.

So we don't have a high priest who's unable to sympathize with their [00:21:00] weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted. as we are yet without sin. And then it says, let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace that we might May receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.

I think often we're so resistant to reach out to God because, uh, of our sin or like how dumb we are and the things we do and the things we think. And so we're like, God won't want anything to do with me or he doesn't understand or, and it's actually the opposite of that. And it says, because he was tempted in every way we are, that we should, um, you know, with confidence, draw near.

And, uh, so that really stuck out to me. And then what stuck out to me was there was two, two short paragraphs that I'll read. Um, first is, uh, I quote, Jesus is not Zeus. He was a sinless man, not a sinless superman. He woke up with bedhead. He had pimples at 13. He never would have appeared on the cover of Men's Health.

He had no beauty that we should [00:22:00] desire him as Isaiah 53 verse 2 says. He came as a normal man to normal men. He knows what it is to be thirsty, hungry, despised, rejected, scorned, shamed, embarrassed, abandoned, misunderstood, and falsely accused, suffocated, tortured, and killed. He knows what it is to be lonely.

His friends abandoned him when he needed them most. Had he lived today, every last Twitter follower and Facebook friend would have unfriended him when he turned 33. He who will never unfriend us. And what really stuck out to me about that piece was often you can hear people that are really suffering say, like, no one understands me.

No one, no one knows how hard this is. Um, and you're basically cutting off help when you say that, right? Because you're saying no one can help me to a certain degree. Um, and Jesus, Jesus does understand. He knows every temptation, whatever temptation you're dealing with, whatever sin. He, he felt that temptation and he felt it to the fullest.

Which is the last, the second piece of, [00:23:00] um, uh, little paragraph I wanted to read. Uh, I quote, one, Jesus sinlessness, Jesus sinlessness means that he knows temptation better than we ourselves do. C. S. Lewis made this point by speaking of a man walking against the wind. Once the wind of temptation gets strong enough, the man lies down, giving in, and thus not knowing what it would have been like ten minutes later.

Jesus never laid down. He endured all our temptations and testings without ever giving in. He therefore knows the strength of temptation better than any of us. Only he knows the cost. Only he truly knows the cost. And so, you know, even with temptation, we sometimes say it's too hard, you know, to fight against whatever sin we're dealing with and stuff like that.

You don't understand how tempting it is to deal with, you know, porn or, you know, anger or whatever else like that. And that just They're lies, right? It's just not true. Like Jesus does fully understand. And, uh, and because he fully understands, we can draw near to him with confidence. And I think it's, it was [00:24:00] very encouraging.

Great chapter.

Gary: Your thoughts? Uh, I had underlined the same thing as you, the whole line about, um, and I think that's where like it, I've, we've talked about a lot on here, maybe probably because of the book, but just in general, it's like the idea that God is, uh, you know, when Jesus was on earth, it was like, yeah, he was a human being.

Right. And we just don't. We don't live that way. We don't, we don't embrace that. We don't understand. And I think that we just, we turn away from rather than turn to. And I mean, that's why the book's great book. Cause it's just this idea of like, Hey, we literally, what was the first part? You said he, um, uh, both running to him or turning to him.

There was a specific term with confidence, right? Well, we don't do that. Like when we're in our lowest moment, we, we try to hide, right? We do the same thing as Adam and Eve did. So I don't know. I mean, we're actually workspace

Kyle: salvation people. Like we have a good week and we read the Bible lots and pray lots and talk to people lots and all of a sudden it's easy to pray.

And then we have a bad week and sin and [00:25:00] all of a sudden it's hard to pray. And we like are scared to pray or talk to people. It's just like, that's workspace salvation. Like he doesn't work on the basis of how good you're doing or how not good you're doing. Like he's

Gary: just, we live in our own heart, right?

And then we're like, So anyways, no, I thought it was awesome.

Kyle: Okay. Moving on. Uh, I got lots of different things we could talk about. Um, blended families. Yeah,

Gary: I had somebody reach out, um, specifically that's in the, the heaviness of dealing with being in a blended family where, uh, both people have, and obviously it's not always both people, but we're in their case, they're, um, separated and divorced and then remarried.

And, um, I mean, you go on a whole rabbit trail about that, but I think that the idea of just, uh, um, yeah, the challenges. And the weight that comes with dealing with exes and co parenting and now having new kids and other kids that are, you know, obviously from previous, [00:26:00] uh, spouses and I think super weighty stuff and it feels like, um, I guess, yeah, I don't know, like Marie said to me, they're just like, you know, I'm qualified to comment and I'm not other than, you know, I've, I've had some experience with this type of thing way back in a previous life, but I feel like it's the idea of, um, There's so much more great, like marriage is hard already.

What experience did you have with this? Well, just being in relationships with people that had kids when I was younger and stuff like that years ago. It's like, well, you got this just, yeah, it's just messy. Right. And I think now if you'd look at a couple that's trying to do the right thing, it's, it's really hard to, um, to be respectful of the fact that, yeah, like that's not your bylaw.

Like they still, like even just the, I'm thinking of these things where it's like, Hey, Um, obviously they have a dad or a mom, every family's different. You know, some have very little contact maybe with, with parents, with birth parents, but I don't, I just look at in our home, how. It's, it's complicated. And then I think how hard marriage [00:27:00] is without any of the stuff of dealing with exes and communication in court cases.

And, and there again, everybody's experience is so different because some people are so gracious once they're separated. Some people you'll talk to you. I was, we were in a holiday recently and people are talking about the relationship and they, they would end up all going on holidays together and everybody was just kind of like, Hey.

Pretty friendly and could do Christmas dinner together. Other people like, like every last thing is, is, um, fight, fight. Every last thing is through court. Right. Um, but I do think, and this is my, uh, posture in general is that we have to give up to win the war. And that, um, I think a lot of people in, that have been single parenting, this is my experience, I mean, I could be wrong, somebody can correct me, but I see a lot of people single parenting, especially women, but men too, I think, where you're just, you're on your own, you're fighting hard, you're fighting for your children or child, and then you get into a relationship, and those old habits that probably weren't even healthy then, but you felt like you had to or whatever, you know?

Now you're with your spouse. You're kind of like, Hey, [00:28:00] you know what? Like you're never going to win fighting. Like you're just not. And, um, so there's this thing of like, what does it mean? What did, what are the things that we're taught about in life in general? How does it apply? Like if you read scripture and be like, turn the other cheek, Hey, someone asked for your coat, you know, give him your jacket, give him your sweater too, or whatever.

Like these ideas, like, are we being that way with our ex? Right. And. We're going to probably say, no, we're not. Cause it's for the better of our children, right? Like, is it, or is it just, Hey, we just feel like we're being violated or they're being unjust and like, life's not just like life's not fair.

Kyle: Right.

Gary: Reminds me of my, uh, briefcase in the barn story where the briefcase got stolen. I thought I got all the stuff back, right? Well, they kept a couple of checks, the checks bounced. And now the bank sends me, you know, it's TD, right? They sent me a letter the other day saying, guess what? You're not getting your money back either, which I don't totally understand that.

There's probably people that are in the banking world that maybe get it. I mean, I didn't have the check sign. They were like forged. Everything was forged. Yeah. So yeah. But the moral of the story is like, I can choose to be super [00:29:00] angry. And posted all over social media and hope that TD shamed or call them or switch my, like, how much at mental, like, what's it worth to, to fight that fight?

Right. I mean,

Kyle: then it just never stops. Right. I mean, you see that in Israel, in Gaza, it just never ends. Like forgiveness

Gary: is the way that the pathway to peace. The pathway to peace is forgiveness. And it's so hard, right? And especially I think, because if I look at what I, there again, this is my perception from what I see with the people I know that are in lots of different people I know are in the spot, varying degrees of messiness.

Um, it's perpetual because you know, you'll have childhood and then you'll have visits and then you'll have school stuff. And then pretty soon it becomes what autonomy and freedom looks like for the child and who gets. To decide when they get a phone, you know, dad says, Hey, we're not doing phones until they're 13 or 16 and the other parents saying, you know what I mean?

So you get that. And then you have, yeah, college and who's helping pay for what and all this stuff, right. And holidays and. Drives us to our knees. It should, but it's like, I do think [00:30:00] there's a sense of, um. Like I say, nobody will fight for a child, like the parent, right? Whether it be the mom or the dad. And, um, so a lot of things that are good traits in a lot of ways that are probably, they can quickly become unhealthy, especially, like I say, if our child is our idol or whatever, and that's, you know, there again, that's another sermon illustration, but just the idea of like, Hey, once we're married, we need to be, um, our primary responsibility is to our spouse.

I think it

Kyle: also like, for me, reminds me, do you agree

Gary: with that by the way? Cause I've heard it said in a sermon that if you're married. Your, your, your first love would be God, your second, your spouse, and then after that, your kids, would you agree with that statement? Yes, yes, 100 percent that's the year.

Kyle: Okay, some people

Gary: don't agree with that, and there'd be people that would really push back on that. I must read a different Bible. Okay.

Kyle: Um, that's not a fair argument. Um, but it, uh, It reminds me of something I had a conversation with a guy last week that I ran into I hadn't seen him about two years and last time I seen him and I went for coffee with him and he was sitting across from me and he seat in and me and Nicole were separated and I was like, I was done.

I wanted to give [00:31:00] up. I wanted to quit and and I was just like, I can't do this anymore. It's too hard. And this guy had had been you. Had gotten divorced and, and was remarried. And he said, Kyle, do not give up, keep going. He goes, it might seem impossible. It might seem like you can't keep going. Goes like that.

He goes like, I don't care. Keep going. Do not give up. And there were so many times where I was just like, I was done. I could not keep going. I was finished. I was like, let's leave the marriage. I will for sure be happier if I leave. And even if the kids are, have to be in two different homes and this and that.

And, um, I'm so thankful that I have a bunch of guys in my life that were just so hard and blunt with me and said like, Kyle, shut up, do the right thing, keep going. Fight

Gary: for your wife. Yeah. Even if she doesn't want to be with you right now. Yeah. Which there again, it's complicated, right? I always, I'm always scared to allude to these things.

Cause I feel like. But you don't know what God can do, right? Like even. No. And even with people, even in your case where it's like, and I, and I mean, Marina and I were just talking about this the other day. There's, there's people I think the more crazy it is [00:32:00] and the farther people are from doing the right thing, you know, it's just that much more of a miracle that can happen.

And we have seen it. I have seen it. So I say it very confidently because I've literally seen it. I've seen what, you know, I was talking to Kim on my podcast. This will come out

Kyle: soon. And she pushed me quite hard to get divorced. And, uh, um, I pushed hard back about it and that'll come out when, when it gets published.

But, um, I said, what do you think about it now? And this is coming from someone that's not a Christian and, and her view on that. And she goes like, the only thing I can come up with is it's a miracle that me and Nicola are back together. And it is, um, you know, God loves marriage and it is a covenant. Satan hates it.

And Satan hates it. And he does everything to wreck it.

Gary: Yeah. And he'll wreck it quicker the second time. Yeah. Well, that's, that's

Kyle: a fact.

Gary: Yeah.

Kyle: The stats show that. 70%, I think. Yeah.

Gary: It's really, really tough the second go around.

Kyle: I mean, it's way more complicated, right? With kids and everything involved and stuff, but it just, like, if you're in a hard spot and it's impossible, like.

Go get help, do the right thing, be open to the things. Plead for help with people.

Gary: Go

Kyle: work on the things that you [00:33:00] need to change. Pray for your spouse. It's, it's, if you keep going, even if it takes three years, five years, for me it was nine years of just like, you know, the last, you know, especially like the last three of the nine was just so brutal.

But now it's like, we have another baby coming in five weeks. Are in a better spot and more in love than ever have been. And it's miraculous. And I think, um, yeah, we, we, we forget about that and we don't trust God and we think we're smarter and, and we take things into our own hands. And, and, uh,

Gary: anyways, you should have, uh, you should have somebody that's, uh, far along in the journey of a blended family, somebody healthy and have 'em on.

And, uh, if you know, if you know anybody, I will think about it and get back to you on that. Okay. What, what's our time here? We can end soon. I had a. I had one question for you. Do you follow the federal liberal leadership race at all?

Kyle: A little bit. I sent you a clip this week about Christy Freeland and the baloney [00:34:00] she was spouting and you said she's either a liar or she's really dumb.

Christy Freeland. Yeah. Why? I'd have to re watch the clip. What was the clip about? What was she saying? She was spouting off about something. You can play it. It's on your WhatsApp. Play it for the podcast here. Go to your Oh,

Gary: man. No, it's so painful. Here. Well, I can try. One sec. Did you send it on WhatsApp?

Yeah. It's the last Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Can you just put it to your mic? Put it by the, uh She's pretty hard to listen to guys.

Speaker: I say that it is extremely important for liberals not to parrot conservative talking points. The reality is Canada is not broken. The reality is Canada has a strong fiscal position, a triple A credit rating, the lowest debt and deficit in the G7, and economic recovery from the COVID recession.

Which is much [00:35:00] stronger and faster than Harper's recovery from the 2008 recession. 17 months rather than 24. There is work to

Gary: do. There is work to do. Um, Canada is not broken. Canada is broken to some degree. Um, there's lots of great things. 40 percent of

Kyle: our, like, People that work here are paid, are in government?

Gary: Yeah, that, she wouldn't look at that, it's broken. I think the real, uh, misnomer, like even when they talk about comparing coming out of the Great Recession or whatever in 08, well, first of all, to be fair, I would argue that we probably did too much money printing even then. That Harper is probably a little loose, um, and avoided hard times.

The thing is, is that the real hard times in Canada in my, there again, I could be really wrong. Happy to be hopeful. Hopefully I am really wrong. They're still coming. I still think they're coming. I think that this whole delaying and, and fictitiously propping, like when they talk about our GDP and how our GDP is doing, our GDP, like we're in, we are in a recession.

If you look at, if you don't include for someone that has no idea what GDP is, can you explain GDP? Oh, it's the Gross [00:36:00] Domestic Product. It's basically the, um, health, if you had your family budget, it'd be like the, or the output of your family with all the income and stuff, it'd be like that for the whole country, and you don't want that to be going negative, and it's going negative in Canada.

If you didn't, if we didn't have massive amounts of immigration, we would be in a serious deficit, and the reason that is, is because we don't make anything in Canada, and you alluded to it with your comment about, um, government, like, And lots of government positions are very important. So don't hear me like I'm not trying to say they're not.

It's just that government jobs, government workers are not creating anything. They're not, you know, they might be doing well there again. You got to be, you know, you want to be careful paintbrushing, but they're not building. They're not creating things. They're not building. They're maintaining. They're fixing stuff.

Maybe there are a lot of regulating a lot of like code stuff, things that make buildings way more expensive.

Kyle: Everything that. The money comes from to fund anything that's government doesn't come from the government. No, it comes

Gary: from somebody else working, making something that is paying taxes. Now, granted, they pay back a lot, good chunk of their own wage because they are all [00:37:00] salaried employees.

But yeah, there, there's really no, we have a productivity issue in our country. Uh, like a really big issue and, uh, thankfully we have an insane amount of natural resources like oil in the ground that we sell to the, the, uh, to Trump, uh, who I guess technically he should be putting big tariffs on it and making his, uh, energy, I think he was going to exclude oil maybe.

Cause he didn't want to have inflation get too out of hand in the US, but we'll have to circle back and check on that next week. The tariffs are coming by the way. Now he says March 4th. I don't think he's sincere. I think it's complete posturing. I don't even know how you would, there again, I'm naive.

There's probably people that are listening that are very smart about this stuff and understand it. I don't know how you would all of a sudden start charging tariffs on everything like overnight, like in less than 30 days. Like. I import stuff every day and the, um, CBSA, which is the body, the government body that regulates stuff coming across the border, they introduced this new software.

It's called CARM and it's replacing a more antiquated system. It's actually awesome once you figure it out, so it is, it is probably a move for the better and I [00:38:00] knew it would be once I understood it. But they, they did like three attempts to roll it out and they kept delaying it. And, and that was one little, like one change of like just how the paperwork was done of something that was already being done.

So to implement, Hey, now we're going to, our government's going to somehow start charging all these companies that are importing and make them pay 20, 10%, 25%. Some things are exempt. When is it exempt? Like, you know, are people just going to start being dishonest with how they fill out the form? In my case, it's.

I mean, there again, some people disagree with this, but it feels like it's the honor system at the border. Like I just do it. Like I'm just doing it the way I'm supposed to do it. And the things that I'm bringing across don't have tax anyways, because they're agricultural products. So they're exempt of GST, but yeah, it's, there's a lot, you're somewhat self regulated there.

And I'm thinking, okay, how is this going to play itself out when all of a sudden there's a 25 percent bill on everything that comes in and ultimately it's going to be passed down to the consumer and when consumers pay more it's inflationary. So it's going to be. My, my personal belief, and I would harp on it more if I, you know, [00:39:00] if I use social media a lot, but like, I think we're heading into a period of stagflation, which will be reminiscent of the early 80s, where things are still increasing in price, even now, if you go get a bill called on something, or if you're part of like, I'm part of all these nonprofits, we're thinking of doing stuff for music, we better do it now, it's going to cost more soon, right?

Like, that's a dangerous, you don't want people thinking like that, you know, the bank Canada says they don't want people thinking like that. And so I think that That's Um, tariffs will create more of that while at the same time, our economy is, it feels to me like we're heading into the, people have less and less money.

I think a

Kyle: lot, the most of the pain though that is happening or going to happen is going to, is because of just really, really poor fiscal management. Reckless spending. Reckless spending at

Gary: all levels of government. Yes. And

Kyle: the thing

Gary: is, even if you look, like 500

Kyle: billion to Ukraine, like we can't control our own stuff here in Canada.

Why are I just, it's, it's so frustrating. I think often about running for [00:40:00] office, not that that would change anything, but it's like, I want to change this crap. It's so infuriating. Anyways, if you want to be part of helping my campaign for prime minister, let me know, I have

Gary: a question for you in overtime.

Okay. What's the question? It's about Ukraine and about Trump. Okay. We'll talk about it over time. If

Kyle: you want to watch over time, go to patreon. com forward slash furiously curious. You can also watch it on Apple podcasts or on Spotify. Appreciate you guys listening. As always, please like comment, share, subscribe.

I appreciate that. Get the word

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