Refusing Help, Politics, & Coaching

August 7, 2024

Kyle: [00:00:00] Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of, uh, the Briefcase in the Barn with me and Gary. Uh, today's sponsor, as always, so far. Anyway, Arbon, why joke at me. Thought it was lockbox, but Oh, that was last week. No lockbox goes in between. Uh, the show sponsored R one, uh, I started, it's a supplement, so I take it every morning.

I take a scuba, greens and some other stuff. If you go in the description of this video, you can see, uh, what I take every day. It's awesome stuff. Uh, it's made me feel a lot better, so if you wanna try it, you know where to do that. Ready for another one? Yeah. Good week.

Gary: I was in the US most of the week.

Idaho, Oregon on a hay buying trip with my oldest son.

Kyle: What was that?

Gary: Um, it was good. I mean, I feel like a bit of a loser leaving my wife at home with, uh, five little kids. It, it went well for her, so she actually said it was good. She had some good help. And, uh, [00:01:00] just a good, good week. Good couple days. I mean, I was gone very brief time really?

For how far? I went basically like two full days. Um, Monday, Tuesday. I came home Tuesday night, so, yeah, no, it was good. I let, I mean, it's, it's feels very different the minute you cross the border and the further you go the,

Kyle: the freer you feel.

Gary: I wouldn't say free, really. I mean, the flags are bigger. The American flags are huge.

Yeah. They're everywhere. Yeah. And the guns, the, the people are more, uh, like when you go into Idaho, the uh. Yeah, it's a different feeling for sure. I like Idaho. I think Idaho is a great place to live, but I'm a romantic and wherever I go on holidays or anywhere, I always think that, especially when it's farming, I just think that'd be a great place to go.

How far are you from Idaho Falls? Dunno. Didn't look on the map. I mean, I'm, I was an hour north of Boise.

Kyle: Okay. That's our mvt set up now. Okay. Idaho Falls. Okay. Or they're their, their second US location. 'cause there was a lot, there was a bunch of new gun laws in Washington state that got passed last year on mag capacity.

And so there was restrictions around [00:02:00] that. So they had to set up in, uh, Idaho. Yeah.

Kyle (2): Okay.

Kyle: How big is Idaho False.

Gary: I'm not sure how big it is in Ave now, but good, good place to do business. And actually I think, and I could be wrong, I think Boise, Idaho is the fastest growing city in North America. And that would make sense because there is a lot of truck that go from here to there and are looking for loads, which is why it's good, good place to get hay from chill out.

A couple years ago I had the most

Kyle: U-Haul come in of anywhere in Canada. Yeah. That's over now. Now that's in, yeah, that's over Dallas, Alberta. Okay. Right on. I got a bunch of, uh, topics here. Um. One I was thinking about today, why do some people that clearly need help refuse it or in denial? I know like you, you talk to a lot of different people, especially when it comes to freedom session, but I'm thinking, talking even more in general.

Um, why is there such a, a resistance in people to, towards accepting help or needing help? There's probably

Gary: two pieces. One is pride. So part of it is pride, right? It [00:03:00] does not matter how messed up somebody is, you know? There's human nature is, is, is, is being proud. So like even when I talk to people and I go to like down on the streets, 'cause of course we have, you know, people that we know on the streets in our family.

Yeah. And we go down on the streets and you talk to somebody and it's amazing how somebody can be literally doing fentanyl. And drinking ice cold coke and that's it. And smoking a lot of cigarettes. And they can be, they can still be talking down about somebody else or that, you know, they're gonna do better.

Like, I mean, and part of it's probably just, yeah, they're just fighting for survival. But it's fascinating how no matter where you are on the socioeconomic spectrum, I think human nature is such that you kind of, you know, the easy, the easiest way for someone to put make themselves better is to push someone else down.

Right? And so there's, I think when people get offered help, I. There's a lot of pride there and it's just, and I, and I'm really guilty of it. I think, you know, I don't, and I don't know how you would respond for yourself, how, how easy it is for you to accept help, how that feels when [00:04:00]

Kyle: you're taking it, but, oh, I mean, it's definitely something you had to learn.

I had to learn. Okay. You know, 'cause it, because it is definitely humbling. It's much easier to give than it is to receive, especially when it comes to money. I, I find specifically, like giving money to someone is just like, makes you feel good about yourself. Receiving money, especially in our culture, makes you feel like, you know, you're a loser or something, but, yeah.

Yeah. Um. And just also more, I think even outside of money, people just say, Hey, you need help? No, I'm fine. Yeah. But they clearly not fine.

Gary: Clearly

Kyle: not fine.

Gary: I think the other thing is that, that's one side of the coin and then the other side, at least on the emotional side, is just the fact that most people are, uh.

If they, if they know what they gotta work on, they are hesitant. You know, I think in regards to Freedom Sessions in particular, it's like people they know they need to be signing up. They, they can, when you, when it, when there's a nagging thought that you have, I mean, call it what you want, you know, if you're spiritual or not, like I.

That's there for a reason, and you can stuff it, and people do, and some people stuff it their whole life, which is really sad. [00:05:00] Right. But you're like, and I hate the term like abundant life, but like, you know, you're, you're missing out on a lot of, leaving so

Kyle: much on the table,

Gary: leaving so much on the table.

Yeah. So I just feel like, yeah, and I think like working with the people that, uh, you know, I've, I've been working alongside and doing life with. It's just pretty cool when you're in it. But it's, it's hard. T-shirt says it, things that matter are hard, makes that matter, are hard. And they are hard and it's hard to get better.

'cause you have to, in order to find real freedom, you gotta to deal with the the PR past crap and the current crap. And that's,

Kyle: yeah.

Gary: Yep.

Kyle: Makes sense. Proverb of the week, I said last week I was gonna do a pick a proverb every week. Yeah. So one that stuck out to me. You read it on my phone, I first read the first part, and then I went back and read the part before it makes, makes it make a little bit more sense.

Even children are known by the way they act when their conduct is pure and whether it is right. Even children are known by the way they act, whether our conduct is pure, whether it is right. I think it's, for me, when I read that, I [00:06:00] think about our action show, what we are and not what we say because that it goes be before that.

It says the verse before that says false weights and unequal met. Unequal measures the Lord detests double standards of every kind. I think it's not saying what you're doing, which made me think of, uh, when I got coached the first time, um, I got coached by Kim ATIs, my coach, and she's a, in her fifties Jewish lady.

Still coaching you? Yeah. Okay. Not a Christian. Um, so completely different belief sets. She's actually super anti-gun. It's kind of funny when, when, uh, um, Israel started getting attacked and I started ribbing her a bit because I was like, she wasn't that together. Yeah, not so unkind, because we, I sold the, that's so unkind.

I sold to the IF but, um, but she said, she said in week two, the coaching program that I did with her, which actually isn't a, a, a, a program, it's just co co coaching, but, um, what's most important to you in, in [00:07:00] order? And I said, God and then family and then work. She's like, okay. And in week six she goes to me, she goes, Kyle, like those, those, those values that, that's bullshit.

Works, works. Uh, God's not first works first. I'm like, nah, God's for sure first. She's like, no. All you do is work your action, show what's most important to you, not you say what comes

Gary: outta your mouth. Yeah.

Kyle: And uh, that, I think that's kind of what I think about when I read this verse is like, it doesn't matter what you say.

Matters. What you do and what you do shows what's most important to you. You, that's, that's what you believe.

Gary: What hits me in that verse is just the, the dishonest weights or just the idea of being, just Yeah, just the areas where my life, where, you know, and I, I. Like, I always tell people, even when I'm selling hay or something, like, hey, like we charge enough that we don't need to, we don't need to lie about the weight.

Like whatever, we're making money. Right? Like that's, you know, that's, but it's a business like my business and, and there was people along the path in my [00:08:00] life that were total shysters with weights and whatever, right? And, uh, and same with cattle ca, cattle dealers as a general rule have this dishonest or about them, right?

Although there was lots of great guys that do it. It's just. It's those things. There's, there's definitely areas where you could totally be dishonest and, uh, be a shyer, right? Yeah. And so that's, to me, it's always like that reminder. And anytime I hear a verse or a word about integrity or. It's like, I don't know if it's, if it's a, a common saying, but it's like, you know, honesty is, is is what there is when everyone's watching and integrity is when no one's watching, right?

Mm-hmm. It's like, Hey, am I a person that even if I have the full opportunity to be dishonest and get further ahead, quote unquote financially,

Kyle: yeah.

Gary: Am I being, uh, honest? Am I being

Kyle: a straight shooter? Right? I talked to a guy this morning and he, uh, he had just quit for a company he'd worked for for quite a while, I think eight or eight or nine years.

And I asked him like, why'd you, why'd you quit? And he goes like, just bad ethics. I'm like, what do you mean bad ethics? He's like, well, situational ethics, whatever made the most money, [00:09:00] uh, that made the most sense. And so he goes, it just didn't, you know, like one day that would've been bad, but the next couple weeks later, that made the most money.

So then it was, then it was fine, then it was fine, then it was okay. Um, and, uh, I thought that was interesting. I never heard the phrase that way, situational ethics, and I just made it, you know, at that time, you can always convince yourself to make it okay. In your favor.

Gary: Hmm. I think in our business, one of the things that we're missing is just, I.

And then we have ethics and I feel like we try to do things the right way and we, our, our motto like it's not, we don't have, I guess that's where I'm going with this. We don't have a list of core values or things that we're our mission statement for our business, but like we should like, and we should have, like, I do know what kind of drives us, but it should be, I.

Everybody should know it. Mm-hmm. And it should be just really clear. And then, like my wife always says too, if you had that even for your life, like if I had it for my life, then I could make a decision based on that. If I was asked to start this or do that. And me, I'm [00:10:00] just kind of like, I've always tooken the shotgun approach, right?

Yeah. Like

Kyle: just get someone to follow you for a month and be like, and then, and after a month be like, Hey, these are your values. This is your mission. From what I, everything I can see. And all your behaviors, this, these are your values, this is your mission because that's what your values and mission are.

Every company has

Gary: divide and

Kyle: divide and conquer. Values, divide,

Gary: conquer. What a disaster.

Kyle: No, but isn't that true? Like, like you That's

Gary: true. That's true. Yeah. Yeah. And I think, I mean even from the sense of just like, yeah, what are starting new things or new ventures or I mean. But even my own personal life, it's like, Hey, what is important?

What do I like? You say, what do I value? And then, hey, how am I gonna, like you say, family? Like I've always wanted to say I'm more of a family man. Well, you don't spend much time playing with your kids, or you're just too busy doing other things and

Kyle: Yeah. That may not be a priority. Right. So yeah, make a list of your values and then lay it beside your calendar.

Yeah. Yeah. I value having fun. [00:11:00]

Gary: I was going to, uh, I wanna put a zip line in my backyard.

Kyle: Oh, Nicole does too. Yeah, she desperately wants to put a zipline for the boys in there. Okay.

Gary: Maybe we'll do it here then my wife kiboshed it. Oh, why? I didn't like though it said it was gonna be ugly and sin like, I wanna put it from the back trees way up in the, like we have some big trees like probably 200, 300 feet back and I want to run it right to the back patio.

I was How are you gonna

Kyle: get the winch back? Like to like pull it back every time so they can look long rope. Okay.

Gary: Long rope. Yeah. No, I had a whole plan. I was on the internet. I could see that you could buy the cables and then I was just actually at a cattle auction today. The dispersal in Abbotsford and they had a zip line set up at the farm.

So how

Kyle: high?

Gary: It was pretty long too. It was, it was pretty good. How high though? Like high. Well, mine, I'm gonna try to go as high as they can without breaking the trees off. She thinks the trees will break first she was talking about safety.

Kyle: So like kid just hands on or? Yeah. I

Gary: don't think they should be strapped in.

I think they should. Hang on. And if you let go. Well, tough luck. Tough luck. Yeah. Built a character. 20 feet. Yeah, they'll be 20 feet up for sure. I was thinking more like 40 or 50. I was gonna build a [00:12:00] spiral, uh, staircase around one of the trees. Then she started asking who was gonna do it and all kinds of questions, and it turned into a bit of marital conflict.

Yeah, I mean, go

Kyle: ahead, backyard's open.

Gary: Start anytime. You got big trees back there, eh?

Kyle: Yeah, that'll be fine. Um, I think last week I also said I was gonna do a series on fruits of the spirit. I was gonna take all the different fruits of the spirit. You gonna do one a week and, uh, and talk about 'em. So love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

It's interesting. Fruits of the spear is like, kind of like a, when I hear that phrase, that kind of doesn't, doesn't really like, uh, attach to anything. If I say fruits of being a Christian or fruits of being saved or fruits are being converted. Mm-hmm. Those are the fruits. Which actually, is that because you don't believe in the spirit or what's the problem there?

Uh, well, I never heard much about the spirit growing up, so I think that didn't attach too much. Um, but also, uh, growing up I thought the fruits of the spirit were wearing a black suit and not laughing too much. Not having too [00:13:00] much fun. Not having too much fun. Yeah, being a little bit down, not being happy.

Gary: That is one thought. I don't know if, and I don't know if that was, I'm sure it wasn't taught per se, but it was definitely what I believed is that if you were a Christian, you were saved. You were not having a lot of fun. No.

Kyle: Your life

Gary: sucked. Yeah. Your life would suck. Which is bizarre. I'm sure they didn't mean to teach that, but that's just how it came across there.

Again, the action spoke way louder than the words. How would

Kyle: you define fun

Gary: and joy? Separately, or the same? Oh, same. I mean, I know that they could mean very different things to different people, but I look at it like, I mean, when a kid, it wasn't about being joyful, right? Like I just wanted to have fun, you know?

Or just, yeah, even just doing fun things like even some be because people that were in positions of authority in the church. All of a sudden when you go out to a certain level, it was as if they couldn't have mm-hmm. Do fun things anymore. Which, I mean that, that's changing now, I think. But it's like, yeah, they couldn't, you know, they weren't necessarily hunting or water skiing or whatever, just basic things that there's [00:14:00] nothing wrong with, but it was just, that's just the way we were brought up, right.

Where Yeah, to check certain boxes or whatever.

Kyle: And I also think fun. It is a little bit also, I mean, it's fun or, uh, carefree and like how do you beat. Uh, like you just, you're light, you know, like, there, there's, there's things are mm-hmm. Um, things are okay. And I think that that's only possible if you're trusting in someone else having all things in control.

Gary: Yeah. But don't you think at the same time there's great weight that comes with it as well? Or not, or you wouldn't, you wouldn't look at it that way. Um, and, and

Kyle: how so?

Gary: Just in the sense of like, just realizing that each, like, you know, coming to the realization that Eternity's real, it's forever. It's like, hey.

I dunno. I just feel the weight off and I mean, Marie says I carry it way too much and it's not my job, but I just feel like you look at the people that you know, that you love and care for that are not believers or people that are really lost or just, I dunno, to me that, or even I just look at the kids [00:15:00] in our life, their parents that are in tough shape or I don't know.

I just carry a lot. Yeah. I mean, I

Kyle: think, I think there is a ton of, of fear or, or, or, or lack of it and stuff like that, but I don't think that's how it should be. Okay. I mean, that there's. The one thing that you know comes up in the Bible all the time is the phrase fear, not like, yeah, why not? Because we can trust God.

We, we, we know that he has a plan and all things are under control. Yeah. He just asks us to be faithful. Uh, I mean, it kind reminds me of your, your, the quote that you told me about everything you own owns a little party, you. And so how do you do that? How do you, like, you just like own nothing then? I think the only way to, uh, how I, how, how I've been thinking through it is, um, we're a steward of everything we own.

Like God asked us to like, it's not your money. It's my money. I've asked you to like manage it well. Mm-hmm. I've asked you manage your business well, your family. Well, those things, like we don't actually own them. We just steward them. Um, and so then I think we can just hold our hands open with what we have and, and hold it loosely.

And I think that's when you can live [00:16:00] joyfully. I think once we start wanting to control it and, and, and making it right our, in our ways, that's when fear goes up and, and, uh, lack of joy goes. Joy goes down. And what

Gary: does it mean to you? I was talking to a buddy the other day, great guy, just talking about like, and he's.

Yeah, he was just, we were talking about what it meant to be spirit led. What does that mean to you to be spirit led?

Kyle (2): Hmm. I, I would say

when you feel convicted

Kyle: in your conscience on something, all in your convictions on that, you know, not, not pushing that way. I think that is, I. I mean, everyone has a conscience, but as a Christian, we have the spirit in us. And I think it can, I think it's louder or just, you know, you feel, you feel it stronger.

Feel prompting, feel prompting, feel stronger. Okay. Um, I think it's, when we're reading the Bible, the things that pop up, you know, the things that are interface, um, [00:17:00] and uh, um, those are, I think those are things are. Things we need to listen to. And if we listen to them, implement them. I think that's being spirit led.

Okay. But beyond that, I don't, I wouldn't, I mean, not a theologian of any kind. I'd have to ask Pastor Matt something, but Okay. What do you think? You're an elder, so you should know everything.

Gary: I don't know anything. It's a disaster. Um, do you feel like. You're quenching the Holy Spirit. If let's say you had a prompting to pick up a hitchhiker and you didn't pick up the hitchhiker, like are you quenching the spirit if you didn't pick up the hitchhiker?

Kyle: No. Uh, I'm saying this because my wife won't pick up the hitchhiker say, and it really pisses me off. Yeah. I think maybe, I think, I think it definitely could be, but I could also just be like, what I have is often to feel a ton of guilt about not being like everyone's savior. I mean, that, that's, that's not true.

I mean, like, it just, we, um, in, in a workspace culture. You gotta help everybody, you know? And we can't help everybody. No, not supposed [00:18:00] to. Not supposed to. And so calling, um, I think there's pitch people that don't need to pick up pitch hikers, but I'm sure there's some people that are,

Gary: that should pick up hitchhiker.

Yeah, I think my wife should, but only when I'm with her, I'm don't even expect her to pick 'em up by myself. But

Kyle: also when you're there, she

Gary: also won't. No, it just gets, no, it's really funny. And you always will. I always will. I will never drive past a hitchhiker and not pick 'em up. And I've picked up lots of hitchhikers in the last two weeks.

Some bizarre experiences from it. Some really weird guys. They're doing this. Sounds

Kyle: fun.

Gary: Yeah. You know the old joke, right? Where it's like, you know, the hitchhiker gets in my car and says like, how come you don't know I'm a serial killer or a psychopath? And I say, well. The likelihood of there being two of those in this car's pretty unlikely anyways.

Um, but Marie, how far do you take it? Because I, oh, sometimes. Really far, depending on my day, I mean way less far now than I used to. I used to have way more time and I mean, yeah, I drive an extra whatever, right? Didn't matter. Um, but Marie and I did pick up a hitchhiker one time. We [00:19:00] actually drove, we were going to church in Agassi at the time and we drove back across the bridge.

'cause I was just like, you know, so we went back to pop com. This guy was at the roundabout. We picked him up, took him, took him into, uh, Agassi, quite a trip. And then basically. You know, in the sermon, pastor Eldon, like used an illustration about picking up pitch hikers and gig grinned at me and said, boy, we dodged a bullet there.

It's a good thing we went back. Right. But, uh, I, I only feel like it's the easiest thing to do. If you're literally driving down the road and you got a seat in your vehicle, why would you not pick the person up? Right. And it's a great. People that are, and not that every hitchhiker's down and out, but I mean, anybody that sucks not having a vehicle, right?

It's like, it's a pretty easy way to bless someone and have a good conversation and just care for somebody, right. In a practical way. And I just feel like, I mean, there's literally a story. Jesus talked about the, you know, we like and we grew up with that story. The Good Samaritan, right? I mean, it could be the hitchhiker, like nobody, Dutch people don't live that way.

'cause we just pick and choose how we interpret it versus, but it's like, that's my interpretation. It's like. Yeah, gas. Cut his head on a rock alongside the road. Can you not throw 'em in the back? I mean, just [00:20:00] put 'em in the box. I guess I'm a, I guess I'm a,

Kyle: what? Am I a Pharisee then? No, you're for sure picking up pitch hikers from now on.

I guarantee you. Well, I'll probably enjoy it. Okay. So what are some of

Gary: the stories you had the last couple weeks? You picked someone up and Oh yeah. Just random people that were living out on the, on a, at a, they had some broken down old RV and they were a Christian couple. It was beautiful. And they were, uh, hitchhiking to hope.

I was on my way to go to a meeting in Kelowna and I just picked them up and yeah, took him to grab something and, and went. They were meeting a friend in Hope to get some, they had a friend there that was gonna help 'em. It was just a great experience. It's like, Hey, these people are, and I. I mean, it feels safer if it's a couple, usually.

Right. Um, and I've never, I'm not concerned about picking up anybody, but like, if my family's with me, obviously you gotta use your judgment and I'm being a bit of a, I'm, I'm joking around a bit 'cause obviously there's just people that are, are not cut out for it. You're totally right. But, uh. And it's just, Marie and I don't fight about anything, but we've had the biggest fights, two things.

We had the biggest fights over. One of 'em is hitchhiking, [00:21:00] picking up hitchhiker. And the other thing is, uh, just putting the boat in and outta the water at the lake, like just carnage. Like, man, you guys always have a great marriage. If that's the biggest thing. Those are the biggest two fights. The biggest, like the scars on the side of the boat from hitting the, the dock and hitting the boat launch or like,

Kyle: alright.

I could imagine that a metaphor

Gary: for our marriage. I could, I could, I could imagine that. Tell me a story where, how, how did that happen? Just, she's in the boat. She's got four or five kids screaming in the boat. I'm back in the truck and yelling at her how to drive it. She's panicking, right? There's people all around watching.

It's horrible. It's a disaster. There's actually, um, YouTube, uh, videos of compilations, of just people backing in boats. It's not easy and there's easier ways for us to do it, and I'm just stubborn and ignorant and so anyway, she's very, very gracious and we try to go boating with other people that are able to drive the boat on the end.

On the trailer and it's been, uh, it's pretty funny. Hmm. Yeah. I definitely have different, uh, different struggles, different things we fight about. Well, you both just agree not to pick up hitchhiker, so you're fine. As long as you're on the same page. It's great. I love this, right? Yeah. I'm [00:22:00] actually not gonna say anything to Nicole.

I'm not, it depends if she listens to this

Kyle: or not. She,

Gary: this

Kyle: you listen to the last

Gary: couple.

Kyle: Yeah.

Gary: Did Marie. Yeah, she did. And she was actually really supportive. Things could turn. After this episode, I can feel the, the, well, I, I think the

Kyle: camera's off, so I think this might just be an audio only episode.

'cause something's wrong with the camera here. So buy more arbon stuff so then you can actually get a proper camera. Nobody wants the video. I got a face for radio. Okay. What else? What else you got? Gary? How was your week, Kyle? Oh, it was good. I, uh, interviewed. Bunch more people had Bill Booster on the podcast.

Okay. I like Bill Booster, man. Good dude. Yeah. And talked about Christianity business, kind of his, his, uh, all years in business. And then I had, uh, pastorin on the podcast. He's a NRC pastor out of Char Charlton, New Zealand. He used to

Gary: be in, in the Midwest.

Kyle: Yeah, Wisconsin.

Gary: Okay.

Kyle: Yeah. And had less sermons from him.

Appreciate Yeah. There for, was there for seven years I think, and moved back. So that, that was good. [00:23:00] Um, and I just, what did you talk to him about? His whole story. His whole story. Yeah. So he, uh, um, when he was 30 in his thirties, uh, he, um, his wife was around 29. He, uh, became a pastor and it was four years of training.

And in his second year of training, his wife got cancer, brain cancer, I believe. And, uh, he was a pastor for about a year and she died. Um, and then he. Remarried her sister a year and a half later, which he said, actually, he told told me yesterday, that was too quick. That was, uh, yeah. Told that whole story and also how his dad died.

His dad died. Didn't even think use, was it too quick for him or too quick for other people? Uh, he said it was, um, he particularly talked about his wife, how it was hard when he was still very much in mourning his first wife. Okay. And she, he said she did understand a lot because it was her sister as well.

But, [00:24:00] um, okay. I mean, I talk about that. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. Just processing it all.

Gary: Okay. It's interesting because we had a couple over the other night and they, uh, this lady's mother, same thing, had, uh, well her, her biological mother had passed away and her dad had remarried and he remarried very quick as well.

And there was just, I don't know. I mean, he had

Kyle: five, he had five, four or five kids at the time, so Wow. Yeah. And he had just started, uh, being a pastor of, you know, like, that's not, are we giving excuses why now or what? No, I

Gary: always look at it like my wife is free to get remarried right away. Instantly. If she wants, we talk about it.

We talk about it too. Yeah. I, I, do you tell her who she's allowed to marry? Yeah, I've listen to names. Oh. Oh my. You should probably get someone else to vote them. Well, she could vet him herself. I just harp on her. Okay. Oh, I just think, hey. All the power to you woman, be pretty lonely by herself. Yeah, she says pretty lonely with me too, though.

Kyle: Pardon? [00:25:00] Yeah. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. You got a lot. Um, yeah, so I interviewed him. That's it. I'm looking forward to listening. Yeah, so that'll be next, hopefully, hopefully next week, Friday. It is kind of a mess 'cause I, I, it's a virtual interview so I had, uh, the camera shut off as well, so I dunno what's going on with the camera.

And so I did, I had to do it over, um, audio of course, and he, he didn't have a proper mic, so hopefully it turned out decent quality. Have decent. So that'll be next week, Friday, hopefully Bill this Friday. Um, and I posted mine with Florence Westing, who was a coach for women with anxiety. Okay. Um, last week.

I got a bunch, bunch more coming up. Actually messaged my buddy Trey that I did the psychedelic therapy with. Yeah. Last year. And uh, I was bugging him to come up and record together 'cause I really wanna do that one in

Gary: person. Okay. I listened to your uh, Lori Throne us interview the other day and it was awesome.

I mean, if there's anybody that's watching this that's political junkie and they haven't uh, watched it, watched it, I don't ever watch anything. I always listen to everything 'cause I listen to [00:26:00] podcasts or Spotify. So, what'd you like about it? Uh, he was just really honest. He's a really honest guy and he literally just did the right thing and got skewered for it.

And, but yet at the same time, could totally realize that he probably just didn't need to say, like, it was unfortunate timing. And I don't wanna say the wrong thing 'cause I would, I thought t thought, I thought what Lori said said, I thought what

Kyle: he said was totally okay. It made sense.

Gary: Yes, it did. But it's like he said in politics, it's not about that.

Right. I mean, there's, yeah. I hate that. You hate that. Well, I mean. Donald Trump made at work. Welcome to the jungle. Yeah. I mean, fair enough, but, and you would hope that we don't come to a place where people get, like, I don't want politics to become that polarized, right? What

Kyle: do you mean? Of how,

Gary: in the sense of like, hey, you're either like, you know, a puppet, modern, you know, moderate on this tide, or like a ruthless, you know.

Big mouth from the other, like, you should be able to speak but can't winsomely,

Kyle: but you can't win. Yes. But you can't. But, uh, ruthless beside what Lori said, no, no, [00:27:00] I, and Lori's not

Gary: that way. And he's, I, I guess that's what was beautiful. It's like, hey, he just did the right. I mean, he still got skewered for it and that was unfortunate.

Yeah. And I mean, ironically you're seeing his entire, and it's, it's funny, so that, I think you recorded that in 2020. And like I was listening to it as like, you know, the conservative party in BC is rocketing up in the polls and the BC United party is becoming irrelevant. And I, I mean, I like Kevin Falcon and I've been in a room with him listening to him in the last few months.

But you just, you can't, there's certain things that are just not lines that you, you know, that you and I are just gonna be like, no, we're not, we're not agreeing to that. Right. Or worse than that. And this, I don't, I mean, I don't know how much you follow BC politics, but like. People just when it comes to like gender stuff, like that's the line in the sand.

Like we're not gonna start saying something that's false is true, right? Yeah. Like, we're gonna be gracious, we're gonna be caring, we're gonna be sensitive, we're gonna be all those things, but we're not gonna start saying something that's untrue is true. Right? Yeah. And I think that's where I. You know, I think people like, I think that's where the United Party is just [00:28:00] trying to be like all things to all people on that and they're becoming nothing.

Right,

Kyle: but isn't that BC conservatives kinda the same too? Like someone was telling me about some of the candidates they were running and stuff like that, that it is kind of just one big tent again, and it's just another version of the BC United Party. They would allow that, but they'll fully

Gary: support a candidate that is very conservative.

Right, Lori? Yeah. Yeah. Lori, would he be allowed to run? Yeah, he'd be allowed to run. He'd be great. He'd be a star candidate. I dunno if they asked him or not, but.

Kyle: I don't think he's running, so no, he's not. When is the election here BC it's coming up this fall. What difference does that make for a, a BC business if it goes to a BC United, uh, BC conservative party versus the BNDP right now?

Is it actually a tangible, yeah, d Yeah.

Gary: Yeah, I think it does. I think that the lower level you go in politics, the more, the more that you would see tangible results at a personal level. And I think that, especially like pro, like obviously the conservative party is very pro business and long before they were doing as well as they were, because I have wrestled with like.

I was brought up in a family and my parents are, are, are very [00:29:00] good people, but they, my dad in particular always said, Hey, don't split the vote. Like don't split the vote. We were just brought up to be like, you know, even at a federal level as a kid, I remember like there was the Christian Heritage Party and we were, and I wasn't obviously voting age, I was just a kid.

But I remember, you know, there was a pretty big push in, in chill lock in particular, 'cause we're in the Bible belt, kind of like to support that. And it was like, I don't know, like that's just, why would you go that route? Right? And then the reform party came around and so I think that. Even now. I think after, through the last four years of everything we've gone through, I probably would stay I'd I way more just vote my conscience.

Even if it's, and then just even some of the friends, I have some guys that I know pretty well, that I really respect. They're just, just do the right thing, just vote, you know, and whatever.

Kyle: Yeah. It is a crappy system though, like let the firsts first pass the post system. Yeah, it's a pretty good system. I like it.

I'd much rather have the American system where it's like. Way more proportional to, not population, but geographical area. It's a better system. It's a horrible system. I think Canada has a [00:30:00] pretty good system. You can get 30% of the vote in Canada and get a majority government. You can, but at least stuff gets done.

You remember our social studies classes from socials 11? I. Yeah, but really bad stuff gets done. Like I think government should be designed to be really slow and super hard

pass

Gary: laws. Oh, they, it's foolish. I di very much disagree. That's how it is in Europe. It's useless. Government's accomplished nothing or they pander to some extremist movement on one end of the other.

I mean, do you agree with proportional representation then?

Kyle: I mean, I don't, I should be, be careful to say I agree with that or don't agree with that. What I, what I just like about. Um, uh, what, what I, or what I hate about the, um, Canadian system is that you can just, you know, get 30% of the vote and pass a whole bunch of laws, crazy laws, and, and when you and it, when it government, it's hard to pass laws and it's hard to like put new regulations in.

Like regulations generally slow things down. I think it make it harder.

Gary: It's better. Yeah. But guess

Kyle: what? When

Gary: the tide turns and people are sick of the ridiculousness, the regulations are going out the window by the basket full too. Hopefully it is harder to get, it [00:31:00] hasn't happened yet. Harper didn't do it.

Harper did. No, I'd give him more credit than that. I think he got rid of some red tape and to be honest, okay. The liberal party before him was the conservative party of today. Yes. So I mean, exactly. So it's Paul Martin just moving. Yeah.

Kyle: The whole spectrum's moving. Right? I mean, I remember, but even Harper, like all the people he pointed to, the Supreme Court, they're all just liberal, hardcore.

I don't, I don't, I don't have much faith. You don't have much faith

Gary: in politics. I can hear that. No, I think it's the only I, I mean I was, I think it's the only place where you can make a difference. I think it's important to get to be engaged. I think as Christians often we just kind of think, wow. Yeah. Or people just in general get disillusioned.

Right. And 'cause it is a grind and because it is, yeah. Nasty. But I just think we're called to be engaged in those situations too, and be the salt in the light and there's the easiest place to be. The salt in the light is in the swamp.

Kyle: That's, that's, that's swamp. That's fair. I mean, I, I, I've been into politics.

That was a little kid. I mean, I was, I had a terrible in school and had a terrible [00:32:00] childhood, but I was always reading newspaper cover to cover. You could, I was always really into it, but it is just. I think it's just depressing. I think we talked about it last time too. Are you gonna run

Gary: for politics?

Kyle: I actually ran for the PPC, um, when they had their, when election last, last election, whatever else like that to be a candidate.

And I got approved to be a candidate, but there was three other guys in her writing that got approved. Okay. And so then the guy that had run the time before, I just went behind him, which is a wise decision. I should not have put my time into that at that time. And I've, I've thought about it a bunch more over the years.

But it could be good for your coaching business. I. Politics really bad. Yeah. Uh, probably worse, I'm guessing. Okay. I mean, I, I don't know if what difference it would really make, but

Kyle (2): Yeah.

Gary: I mean, what's your favorite

Kyle: part about your coaching business? Uh, probably working with someone and seeing the changes happen in front of you.

Okay. I didn't like when the lights go on. You know, when [00:33:00] you, when they realize something or, or, or, or, um.

Gary: And it's never 'cause you tell them you said, right? No, it's always self-realization. Self realization. There's questions. Yeah. Questions. Lot of journaling.

Kyle: Decent amount of journaling. Depends on the guy you work with.

Some guys journal refuse to journal. Yeah. Some guys barely, almost, almost never journal, but I mean it's probably pretty healthy to journal. It's super healthy to journal. Actually, actually was saying yesterday, like one of the ways he got over his grief. Uh, it was journaling, um, just writing it down. You had to get those, those feelings out.

But you gotta see, so when, when, when people are journaling decently, often, uh, you see trend lines, right? Mm-hmm. You see the same things that are, that they're saying or not saying, that you often don't realize yourself. Um, and so you can outside perspective, and so you can point those out and you can say, Hey, this is what you're saying.

Um, consistently, like, is that actually true? Mm-hmm. And often what we believe, uh, is true, you're challenging beliefs, right? So if someone has a belief about something, you challenge a belief and you want one or two things to happen, you want them to realize that, that what they believe is actually not I.

[00:34:00] But they, um, it not actually true, you know, something, they can change their belief and then once you change your belief, your behaviors change, or two, the belief solidifies and they're more sure about it. And that, and that's also good. That's encouraging. Okay. Um, and so it doesn't, you know, like, just like my coach is like, I don't, I don't care if, uh, works first or God's first, like she was a Jew.

She's like, just don't bullshit yourself.

Gary: Just be honest with yourself. Be honest.

Kyle: Yeah.

Gary: It's the hardest person to be honest with is yourself. It starts there.

Kyle: Yep.

Gary: Then changing is hard too. That's why I do polygraphs. That actually helped a lot. And do polygraphs always work? Can people beat a polygraph? Oh yeah.

I asked a guy this the other day. Yeah. People can beat a polygraph. People can

Kyle: people I, I've definitely heard about it and, and, and, but it's not that common. No. What

Gary: percentage of people do you think are beating a polygraph?

Kyle: Very small amount. Okay. Like, you gotta be motivated. To go like, figure it out on how to do it.

How to do it. Yeah. Like I haven't even go Google it. And I'd be pretty motivated individual to, to do certain things. Like when I want something, I, I, I pursue it pretty hard. But, uh, yeah, [00:35:00] I would like to do it. I'm gonna work on doing it. Who does it? Is there like a, that doesn't, his name's Dennis Paulson.

He's out of, uh, Vancouver. He is a former RCP officer. He does it? Yeah, he does 'em all for Dave Curry.

Gary: Okay. Does he do it outta Abbotsford or do he have to go and Vancouver to do it?

Kyle: Uh, he goes to Abbotsford office. Yeah. Okay. S for DFR doing family right office.

Gary: Okay. So you could probably just talk to my counselor doing family, right.

And say, hey, yeah,

Kyle: to

Gary: do a polygraph. 500 bucks.

Kyle (2): Okay.

Kyle: Not cheap, but yeah, you pretty cheap. Price of truth. Pretty cheap. Price of truth. Go on now. Yeah. I mean that's why Cur Curry does it with all these guys that he, he works with or women as well and stuff like that. He goes like, Hey, we need a, for, for any growth or any, there has to be trust has to be a foundation right there, there has to be trust.

You need a foundation. The foundation has to be honesty. Like you have to know where your starting point is. And so, um, with any couples he works with and stuff like that, he is like, okay, start with a polygraph. And I actually thought about it myself. If I ever like to have thought about. Being a counselor or like mm-hmm.

Um, whatever, addictions, counseling, marriage counseling. And, uh, I was like, man, [00:36:00] I, I think I would just want every person I work with to start there. 'cause otherwise you can like, work with someone for first six months or a year. You're just dealing with bullshit. Like, you just don't know. Like, there's not, it's not true now, I don't think I know, uh, I know some guys do actually do this.

The first thing they do, it's like a one week program, not like a marriage intensive program. Day one, you start with a day, one morning one, you start with a polygraph. Okay.

Gary: But now with the polygraph, it's actually not, the polygraphs, when they asking the questions is not when the honesty comes out. It sounds like you actually do a full disclosure first with every last detail on it.

That's what you're supposed to do. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. Make sure everything, so you're actually really only, you're actually being honest yourself before you even get asked the questions. Yeah. Which that in and of itself would be very healthy. Yeah. Because that's essentially what Freedom Sessions is doing, right?

It's basically just like, Hey, obviously first becoming honest with, you know, yourself and then, and then others. Yeah. Crazy. Yeah. Okay. Month till go time. Pardon? Month until Freedom Session starts. There's five weeks. Lots of people [00:37:00] are signing up too. It's

Kyle: gonna be a good group, it's gonna be, it's exciting.

Okay. Maybe, and maybe let's end with that, uh, in one minute. What is Freedom Sessions? I. We asked this the

Gary: first episode and I could, didn't do a very good job. I'm actually going to Ken Dix for supper tonight, so I'll ask him how to describe it and,

Kyle: well, I actually emailed him last year to come to the podcast, so maybe he can just come on and, and I'll try and get him on.

I'll twist his rubber arm and uh, and, and we'll talk about it and then we'll send link. Yeah, that would be good. Links to, uh, where people can sign up and. And take it. So, and sorry about the camera guys. This is just audio, but, um, hopefully next week, this fixed. So camera did work. Um, so good news on that front.

As always, thank you for watching, um, like, share, subscribe, comment, all the good stuff. It's really appreciated and I'll see you guys next week.

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