Leadership & Life Lessons with Colonel Tray Ardese I LIVE Event Recording + Audience Q&A - EP 40

November 22, 2025

Kyle: [00:00:00] Hey guys. Welcome back to another episode of the Fur Saia Show. Awesome that you're here. What you're about to listen to is a congregation I had with Colonel Trey Ardi. Uh, he's been on the podcast before.

Um, and he also is a coach for Fur Saia coaching. Um, I worked with him and he was out, uh, in BBC a couple weeks ago to visit a coaching client of his and I said, Hey, let's do a live event. Um, and so, uh, I did the podcast live with an audience. Uh, it was, uh, really fun. Um, so we recorded for about an hour. Um, and then after that, um, we did a q and a with the audience.

And so that's what you're about to listen to. I did do a little intro at the start, um, where I told, uh, the story of how I got to, um, that spot, um, doing a live podcast anywhere, all the way from how the podcast started to how I, uh, started coaching. Um, but unfortunately we lost that audio. Um, and so, uh, I thought I'd just share it here right now, um, as part of the intro.[00:01:00]

So in 2019, I started the podcast, um, just more because I was always being a pretty curious person. I, um, was reading a newspaper at like eight or nine years old already. I've just been following politics since I was a young age. That was kind of my, um, escape. Um, and um, uh, but I did find as I got older that, um.

People had beliefs about certain things, but they never really took time to figure out what someone else's belief was and how they got to that belief. Um, because it doesn't just happen out of nowhere, right? If you see someone with pink hair, they didn't just decide that one day. There was a series of events that happened in their life that got them to a belief where they wanted to do that.

And so I think understanding that in someone's life is really important to have empathy for where they are at. Because likely you would be too if you were. In their shoes and had that path. But everything shapes us. Um, and so understanding people's stories, I think is really important to figure out what they believe and then you can actually have a real [00:02:00] discussion as well about, you know, if you're, if you have different views from each other.

And so I thought, Hey, I wanna start a podcast. I'll interview people, um, and ask them questions about what they believe, what they think, and I'll share those. Uh, that'll be fun. So I'm just gonna call it The Curious Christian. And it was taken, so I went with the Furiously Curious Show. And, uh, first episode with John Less.

Uh, and that was, that was awesome. And I've been going since then to have a big break though in, uh, 2021, roughly, I think 2020 I, uh, stopped hosting for about three years. I was working at a company called MBT Sporting Goods at the time, and, uh, I wanted to be, uh, CEO of the company. Um, I was restless in the position I was in, and I was restless a lot.

Um, and, uh, so I wanted to just do something else. And so I went to, my brother was the owner of the company. And I said, uh, hey, I would like this role. Um, and he said, well, I'm not sure if that's actually something you wanna do or not. How about you go get coached first? And so that's what I did. I went and got coached.

Um, he connected me with, uh, Kim [00:03:00] Addis from Frame of Mind Coaching outta Toronto. Uh, was a high end, um, coach through a 10 week journal based coaching program. Um, and so I had to journal every day, uh, on online software that she had for me. So I could log onto her website and, um, log in and there'd be a journal prompt on what to write about.

And so I would write on that journal prompt, publish it, and then she could read what I wrote and ask questions, uh, and get clarification. And I'd journal every single day. And then, uh, what I would write about would change every week. So she would've a specific journal prompt to write about. So week one was.

Monitor your mood. And then week two there was a journal prompt called Your Beliefs, and we'll write about that. You're right about that. Week three is your relationships. And so I did this 10 week journal based coaching program with her. Um, really interesting. Didn't really know what, what to expect. Uh, but she was smart.

She asked a lot of good questions, uh, and just the conversations I had with her. And, uh, and so we started going and she's like, so why do you wanna [00:04:00] be, uh, CEO? I'm like, I don't know. I wanna move up. She goes, why do you wanna move up? I'm like, I don't know. I just think, you know, we have to go somewhere. She goes, how do you define that as up?

I'm like, I don't know. She goes, are you gonna make more money? I said, Nope. She said, are you gonna enjoy the work more? I said, probably not. She said, well, why do you wanna do it? And for me, it came down to status. I wanted it for status. And she's like, well, is that something you actually want to do then?

And obviously not. And, and it made me realize, well, what do I want to do? Like I was just pursuing something just for status. Like that's crazy. Okay. And uh, and so there was so much more I got from it as well. In week, um, two, she asked me, what's most important to you? And I said, God, and then family and then work.

And she said, okay. And then, uh, week six, she goes, Kyle, I think that's bullshit. And Kim is a Jewish lady. She's like more on liberal leaning side anti-gun. Like, it, it's, we're very, very different. And in coaching, you never share your own opinion. You just coaches have, all consultants, have all the answers.

Coaches have all the questions. Or helping the person you're working with get clear on what they want. [00:05:00] And she goes, I think God's not mostly more, most important to you. I think, uh, work is. And I'm like, no, it's not like God's for sure more important. She goes, well, all you do is work your actions, show up you believe and not your words.

And that really rattled me. Like I, I, she was calling me out on this misalignment and she goes, I don't care. I'm a Jew. Like, I don't care what you go put first. She said, don't bullshit yourself. It was almost, I think, helpful for me looking back. And she wasn't religious because she just really put it. Like she didn't have an ulterior motive.

Like, you have to do this. It's like, like if you say this is what you want, what, why aren't you doing it? Or just be honest about what you want. And, uh, so that was really powerful. She asked me about my marriage, how it was, and I, and uh, and I said, I want epic marriage. And she goes, does Nicole know everything about you?

I said, no. Um, she was the first person I told I I, I'd be unfaithful. And uh, and from there she goes, well, Nicole, does it know, do you think that's gonna help you long term have an epic marriage? I said, no. So I was like, what you can do about it? So I did something about it, and so it just changed, radically changed my [00:06:00] life, uh, and I loved it.

And so I got all the training to become a coach, just, um, because I loved, um, the process and I wanted to be a better leader at the company I was working at in bt. And then in, uh, in the fall of 2020. Two, I believe it is, or 23, I might get my years wrong there. Um, a friend of mine said, Hey, what do you consider working for me, guy Alberta, Jason, um, great friend.

And uh, and I said, no, I don't know if you actually need a guy like me. I think maybe, how about I coach you and see if that's actually, you know, and you can get clarity on kind of the things you want in life and in the business. And you said he was up for that. And I said, you just pay me what you think it's worth at the end.

And so, um, and uh, and we did that for 10 weeks. And, uh, I was just sitting in Google documents. I didn't have a nice software like my coach did. Um, and at, in two weeks, 10 weeks, he said, Hey, you, you changed my life with this. Like, um, it had a big impact on him. And another friend asked me. [00:07:00] And so within that time I said I'd stopped traveling as well because I, uh.

Um, needed to focus on my family and that that needs to become a priority for me. So I let that go and, uh, yeah, ended up quitting and going into coaching full time, which was a big sacrifice. I had to like, uh, I mean, I, I knew I had to be home with my family, um, and I knew I needed to change. And so I, I had plans in with the city to build a house, um, a nice little half acre in the country, which is in Chillowak.

Um, hard to get and, and, uh, but I. Followed what I believed, um, I should be doing and what I really love doing. And so that's what I do now. I coach, um, my business owners to help them achieve their goals. Um, not just business owners, but dads, husbands, um, executives to achieve their goals and get to, um, clarity on what they want as well without sacrificing on what matters most of them.

Faith, family, and free time. So a lot of guys are, uh, in 30 to 40 to 50 years old. Um, and they, um, fail, feel a little bit, um, lost, [00:08:00] um, for a few reasons. One of the biggest reasons I find is that, um, they have no trust in the government. There used to be some trust in the government because of society. Um, but they don't have any trust in the government.

They don't have much hope for the future. They think the world's gonna wanna shit. They, um, and um, they don't have much belief in the church, don't trust the church. They believe 80 or 90% of what they grew up with is bullshit. And so there's not much trust there. And they absentee dads. Dads that might have been physically around but not emotionally around.

They don't have a relationship with him there. And so they're 35, 40 years old and they're thinking, I'm supposed to have my shit together, but I don't at all. And so they feel a lot of shame around that. They isolate, they feel very alone. Usually. They're quite successful though of a business. That's where they get their value.

They get like, you know, they can see what for the effort they're putting in. 'cause they don't often value themselves very much at all. And they don't have a very strong belief system because their dad never believed in them and wasn't really around. And so they have a number of moorings in life, number of security from the church or dad or the future.

And if I just work harder [00:09:00] or, um, the government. And so they're very, very lost. And so there's no purpose and, and, uh, it's very lonely, but you might be really successful in that spot. You might have a great business, but you're just working 70 hour weeks and you realize your relationship with your wife isn't that great and you're emotionally not present.

Um, and um, you know, you never go and do your hobbies anymore. You just work on Saturdays. Um, and there's other things going on. Your health is not doing that great. I was almost 300 pounds at one point until I, you know, chose to focus on what I actually want and, and what, what's valuable to me. And just to be real.

And also you deal with a huge lack of peace. You're people pleaser, you avoid conflict. And, uh, and so that's gonna who I work with 'cause that's, I think, quite, quite common. Um, and you can make a lot of changes there with just some clarity through coaching. And so that's kind of how I got into what I do now.

The podcast kept going, um, because I needed a way to do marketing and share what I'm doing. And, uh, I really didn't like the idea of just talking to a camera and making videos. So I said, Hey, if I ask somebody, Gary Bars, um, great [00:10:00] friend of mine, um, and, uh, I said, Hey, let's do a weekly show. I'll just talk about whatever I want to talk about.

Um, and naturally people that are into those same things will listen. Um, and, uh. Yeah, that'll be just, you know, build trust with the audience. Um, and, uh, and share that I do the, the coaching side. So I do that now as well. And so I create content, hope to add some more shows in the future. Hope to do, uh, one called Pocket Theology, hopefully me.

Um, and then Nicole will start one my wife, um, every week and a few other ones. Uh, it's gonna take a lot of resources and, and right now I actually pay for all that with the, the coaching work I do. So. Um, if you are, uh, so inclined to help support my, uh, my goal to, uh, create more of this content and have more of these conversations, um, be able to get those shows, um, going faster, that would be awesome.

Even the camera I'm using right now as a, as a board camera from a friend. Um, and so if you just love, would love to see this thing sped up, I'd say, Hey, I, I'd love to support you with that. Um, I'm actually gonna add a, an uh, button to my website, spot. My [00:11:00] website where you can, um, give, um. And n no pressure at all.

I'm just saying there's people that have reached out to me and said, Hey, Kyle, I'd love to be able to do that and, and, uh, you can send me etransfer and stuff, so I'm just gonna, um, leave that, um, option open there. Um, but either way, that's the coaching I do now and, uh, creating content open more of that coming and also recruiting.

Um, the audience that listens to this is, is very niche, but it's usually guys that, uh, are, have good values and, and, and wanna work hard. And so if you're looking for a good employee, um, the audience I have is, is really, um, great for that, like good connections and will show up and do and do good work. And so I, um, offer recruiting services as well.

And then Trey, of course, who works, um, with me, who I'm interviewing here in today's, uh, podcast. Um, he is, um, met with him a couple years ago and he's mentored me in my life and, and kind of coached me and I said, Hey, how about I get you coaching Kline? Um, and, uh, and I do all the backend stuff for you because he's just so incredibly talented and has so much to give, uh, just [00:12:00] a deep, deep love for Jesus.

You're gonna hear that in today's, um, episode, um, and just very, um, strong on on what he believes. Um, but the very basic things, like just the very principle things that we should be believing in and that help build just a healthy, good life, um, that also glorifies God. I hope you enjoy today's episode. If you either want to work with Trey or, or myself, always just feel free to reach out.

Let's just have a chat. There's no pressure. Like I want to work with people that, you know, wanna move the needle that are sick of where they're at, um, and say, Hey, like, I'm willing to invest, uh, in myself here. Uh, because ultimately that's the only thing you can change. So, hope you enjoyed, uh, that little, uh, me sharing that how, how it got started and where I'm at now.

Um, I will one day actually share my, my whole story, um, from beginning to end. I actually did share, um, did record that with Dave Curry two years ago before I started, uh, freedom Session. And, uh, thank god I ever published that. And, um, yeah, I just don't feel peace about sharing it, [00:13:00] right? Yeah. But I, I will, uh, that will come, uh, one day.

I'm, um, and so, uh, um, yeah, that's it. Uh, hope you enjoy today's episode.

Tray: To see this 25-year-old guy looking at me, but this old guy's looking at me, I don't know exactly know how that happens. But anyway.

Kyle: Yeah, I asked, I asked the last, last night, we were looking at some pictures and I said, why don't, why don't you, uh, why'd you start doing your, I'm dying. Your beard white

Tray: just happens, guys.

Kyle: Just happens. Okay, Tre. So we've gone over a bunch of the points. Um, the title of this, uh, event is Lessons for Leadership and Life. Yes. Um, um, through over your career. So, uh, I got six points here I'd like to cover and some questions about those, uh, uh, points. So, uh, first point is, uh, servant leadership.

It's kinda a buzzword. It's getting, um, a lot more attention than ever these days. Yes. Uh, but in your own mind, what is, what is servant leadership?

Tray: That's a great question. Thank you for that. Uh, servant [00:14:00] leadership, if you boil it all the way down, is the way Christ Let, Jesus was the ultimate servant leader.

He washed us. He washed his disciples feet. He looked out for them, he discipled them, and ultimately he died on the cross for his disciples and for all of us. So, servant leadership is sacrificial in nature, and if it's not sacrificial, it's not really servant leadership if it doesn't cost you something.

Kyle: Right. So what does that, what does that practically look like? I mean, that's mm-hmm. Uh, we know about Jesus, we know about those stories. Mm-hmm. But what does that look like in. Some of the situations you might have been in and and what, and the leaders you had or, and how you led.

Tray: Sure. Um, so I'm up here standing on the shoulders of Giants, uh, giants of the United States Marine Corps, giants of the military, uh, retired commandant, the Marine Corps General, Jim Amos, uh, jaws [00:15:00] White, uh, general, not so wise.

All these people took me under their wing and taught me what it was to be a leader. They, they didn't talk about it. They did it because the problem in our life is this, does our talk match our walk? And if your talk doesn't match your walk, what you do speaks so loudly that nobody can hear what you're actually saying.

And so they modeled that leadership. They, it was sacrificial. They over and over put themselves on the line, put their careers on the line, put their wellbeing on the line for those that they led.

Kyle: Hmm. Gimme examples of that.

Tray: Um, so I came to Christ in 2004 and my call sign was Tonto. 'cause I'm [00:16:00] part American Indian.

You, you guys call 'em something different, right? We call 'em first people or something.

Kyle: Uh, they change it every year.

Tray: Okay. Alright. Anyway, it's. So down and I, I can say this 'cause I am one. Um, I'm American Indian. I'm do, I'm a feather, you know, not, not the.like from India itself. So yeah, that's how we differentiate, differentiate the United States.

Feather not dot. Um, but there was a Tonto BC and if you've come to Christ, there was a, your name before Christ. And so I decided that I'd get a little rowdy when I was on a deployment and I'll summarize it by the Air Force. Security forces weren't very fast. Dogs can't get over tall fences very easily, and soccer players don't tackle very well.

[00:17:00] And to make a long story endless on that, I ended up on a plane going home by myself while my unit was still deployed. And on the way back I landed in a place called the Azores, which is a Portuguese island kind in the, not in the middle of the Atlantic, but a thousand miles off the coach of coast of Portugal.

And when I picked up the phone and I called back and I called my old boss and his name was Colonel Jeffrey White. And I said, um, I said, Colonel, I, um, I think I might've done it this time. And he goes, shut your mouth, boy. Don't talk to anybody. And I said, but does that count you too? And he goes, no, not me.

He goes, nobody but me. Don't speak to another soul on earth about this. I got home, I went to see him and he goes, well, you've, you've really done it this time. So, but it's [00:18:00] not the end of, you should have, it should have been such a mark on my record that it, I wouldn't have progressed. But what he did was he, over time massaged the person in charge and eventually pulled me back into his squadron and in essence gave me a second chance and resurrected my career.

But he basically put himself on the line to then, uh, Colonel Jim Amos, who went on to be the commandant of the Marine Corps. And had it gone the wrong way, he could have lost his career also.

Kyle: Hmm. Okay. So he put his career on the line.

Tray: He put his career on the line for mine.

Kyle: Yeah. Why do you think he did that?

Tray: Um, 'cause he was a servant leader. You know, he, he knew that the way you're successful in a business, in, um, military unit as a husband, as a father is putting people ahead of, [00:19:00] of you. And what he did was

he knew that. You empower folks around you. And he knew that I might be a little rough around the edges, but when it came time for a fight, he wanted me with him. And so he was willing to risk not only his own career, but his family's livelihood to keep me around. Hmm.

Kyle: What would be some of the, uh, um, examples of the opposite of servant leadership and have you run, run into that?

Tray: Yes. Uh, the opposite of servant leadership is a guy who's all thumbs. Anybody ever seen anybody who, guys who's all thumbs? It's all about them. You know, those, those kind of folks, there are some of 'em out there that, um, they have a position, they have a title, but they don't have the maturity or the intestinal fortitude or the character to actually hold that title.

And so they use it for their own [00:20:00] gains. They use it to exploit those that work for 'em, or they use it, um, to puff up their own ego. Hmm. One of the worst things a man in charge can have is big ego and a lot of pride. Hmm.

Kyle: How do you, how do you fight that practically? And how do you become a, a, a servant leader?

If, for myself or some of the people listening here, like, how do you, you know, it doesn't happen overnight. Mm-hmm. Like, what are some practical things that you can do to start learning and, and shaping yourself to become more like that?

Tray: Yes. Thanks for your question. The, uh, first thing is you need to read the Holy Bible because.

The Bible is an example of servant leadership from beginning to end. When, uh, when Abraham was on Mount Mariah and about to sacrifice, he was heading up there to sacrifice Isaac. He said, I see the fire. I see the knife, right? And I see the wood, but where's the, the lamb? And he said, [00:21:00] God will provide himself a lamb.

And that's what he did. Some, you know, 2000 years later on, uh, on Calvary. Hmm. So that's where it starts. Another good, you know, practical right here, right now, way to do it is leaders eat last. If you're in charge, you eat last at my house. Remember you came to visit the young ladies. Youngest lady eats first all the way to the oldest, youngest man all the way to the oldest.

Or if there's somebody older than me, it's my house. I get to eat last. And so that's just a, that's just a physical way to remind yourself that you have to deny your flesh and pick up your cross and fall of Christ every way.

Kyle: Hmm. Um, what were some of the ways that, uh, you, maybe some examples where you caught yourself not being a servant leader, um, and you needed to, you know, change [00:22:00] maybe earlier in career, maybe later?

I'm not sure.

Tray: Yes. Um, so you have to fight it all the time. We've, we've spoken, uh, in our sessions and the people I talk with, the way you'll find out something about a man or a woman is put 'em in a position of power and give them a lot of money. 'cause money is nothing more than a tool to be stewarded.

But when you give somebody who doesn't have enough wisdom, a lot of power and a lot of money, they will tend to not do well with that. So, um, go back to the question one more time.

Kyle: Your examples of your own life where you weren't necessarily a servant leader and you to learn what you need to learn from that.

That's

Tray: right. So when I came to Christ in 2004, it wasn't because I was so broken. I was, the Holy Spirit had been after me for a long time, but it was [00:23:00] much like Solomon. You know, Solomon had 600 wives and 400 concubines, one wife's plenty for me. You know, it's, it's hard to keep track of one. And he had 999 more to take care of.

And at the end of that, what he said was, he's a richest man. He's a wisest man. And he said, vanity, vanity all is vanity. You know, he let us hear the end of the manner, serve God and keep his commandments. So when I was messing up, it was because I was. In my flesh. And in doing that, I came to the end of myself.

'cause I had, I had a Harley Davidson. I was a drummer and a rock band. I was the number four guy in an F 18 squadron. I had medals, I had prestige, I had a reputation, and I was miserable without Christ. And so that, [00:24:00] that's probably as close to, I could say, when I wasn't a servant leader, I was serving myself, but I didn't know it.

See, that's insidious part of it. I thought I was serving the Marine Corps with a, a decadent lifestyle, but I was in essence, working against the men I was supposed to be taking care of.

Kyle: Hmm. What's a good test someone could take on themselves to say if they're serving themselves or not? 'cause you say it's insidious and, and so you don't always realize it yourself.

Mm-hmm. Uh, I didn't realize it myself. Mm-hmm. Um, how, what's a something you can do to, to, um, yeah, catch yourself?

Tray: I have, so I'm not real smart, but I have these checklists and sayings and things that, that really resonate, that are pretty simple. There's a rule in the Marine Corps, we call it kiss, keep it simple, stupid.

So I have simple, um, priorities. My faith is first, my family, my [00:25:00] friends. Then stuff, stuff is job, stuff is everything below your faith, your family, and your friends. And I came up with that through reading the gospels and that Christ always put people over stuff. He didn't have a house, he didn't, he had to borrow a donkey to write into Jerusalem.

You know, he didn't, he didn't place his priorities on things. He placed his priorities on people and relationships.

Kyle: Okay. So what in there is the test on yourself, like you use that acronym yourself to see where you're at, but

Tray: faith, family, friends and stuff. If I start to make a decision, am I putting God first, my family second, my friends third, and those that are in my sphere, and then, then I can start working it down from there.

Understood.

Kyle: Okay. Okay. Point number two, choose integrity over results. Uh, you've told me the right thing isn't always easy and the easy thing isn't, isn't always [00:26:00] right. Right. Somebody's talked about a bunch. What do you, what do you mean by that?

Tray: You'll find out who somebody really is when they're put in a stressful situation.

It's easy to talk about doing the right thing, but when you're all alone in a far away country, and nobody would know if you did, you fill in the blank. You know, what do you do? Because the right thing is not always easy and the easy thing is not always right. You've gotta choose the harder right over an easier wrong.

It's easy just to give in to fit in. And this world right now is dying for men, fathers, husbands, mothers, to stand up for truth. Because if you hadn't noticed lately, the social media is, you don't know what's true. You don't want know what's not true. I tell my sons all the time that [00:27:00] believe nothing you hear, and only half of what you see.

I've since revised that since they're getting older now. I said, believe nothing you hear and only saying the things you see with your own two eyes. Because if you see it in video, AI may have already altered it. Hmm.

Kyle: You mentioned me that you see a lot of, uh, business leaders or dads that just have, uh, situational ethics.

Uh, what, what is that you give any examples of it?

Tray: Situational ethic. That's a great question. Thank you for it. Um, situational ethics, once again, is incredibly destructive. Let's, we will go from the family, the family perspective first, and then we'll step to the business. But on the family side, if you treat your children differently in the same situation than they're watching and they know you may not think they know, they may be young.

But playing favorites is the [00:28:00] worst thing you can do with your children. If we, if my sons, my, my four sons were sitting right there, you could ask, uh, Justin, Ethan, Brock, or Tyler, you say, who is your father's favorite son? And they say, none of us and all of us because they all get the same. The rules apply to them equally.

From oldest to youngest, no favorites for the baby. And the same rules apply to me. One of them has always been no plan in the kitchen, because you can imagine with four boys, it was like one big, you know, royal rumble around the house constantly, but the kitchen had really sharp corners of stone and stuff, and you can split your head open.

So there was no plan in the kitchen. And my youngest son's 20 and he's in college and he came home not long ago and he was barely in the kitchen. And I grabbed him by the ribs and he goes, is that playing in the kitchen? [00:29:00] He's 20 years old, he's the youngest. And I'm like, I guess that kind of was playing in the kitchen.

I guess grabbing ribs is playing. He goes, yes. You know, the punishment, 20 knuckle pushups on the spot. And so I, I think that the situational ethics, what's good for the goose is good for the gander. You can't expect your children at home. To follow you willingly. If you don't treat them all equally and you're held to the same standard, they're, that's once again, servant leadership.

You don't get to have a set of rules for the subordinates. No man is above the system. And that's, I was taught that very young in the Marine Corps, and thank God I became a Marine because that flowed over into my father. And, uh, on the business side, you have, I, I coined this phrase a few years [00:30:00] back over, you know, no particular company, but it's whatever makes the most money, makes the most sense.

A lot of companies are like that. I'm like, hang on a second. You know, you'd ask somebody, we're gonna do it this way this time. I'm like, hang on a second, last time, didn't we do it a different way? They're like, no, we're gonna do it this way. And I said, but that goes against our ethos, doesn't it? Well, no, not really.

It's gonna make an extra $250,000 if we do it this other way. I'm like, Hey, I'm not for sale. I told a gentleman not long ago, I was on a big call and it, I, you know, I do, uh, international consulting business stuff and we were down right to almost selling. It was a big commodities deal. And this, I started getting a bad feeling.

When the Holy Spirit starts giving you a bad feeling, it's time to perk up. And at one point this guy [00:31:00] said something, I said, look, I don't, I don't know where this conversation's going, sir, but I'm not for sale and if you're trying to get me to do something unethical for a lot of money, you're talking about, I'm not gonna do it.

I said, because I'm not only answerable to the law, number one, I'm answerable to God to God on this one and, and my faith's not for sale. And he goes, well that's just fine then. And he goes, you, you think I was trying to buy you? And I said, well sir, it sound awful lot like it. And he is like, probably, we probably don't need to do any business together.

I'm like, yes sir. I understand. I see how you feel that way. And I'm pretty comfortable with just terminating this relationship also. So it was, in theory, it was a life changing amount of money. But what if profit a man, if he gained a whole world and lose his soul, what will man give an exchange for his soul?

You know, so it's, I can't be bought for a million. I can't be bought for 10 million because it's, [00:32:00] I've gotta stand before God someday and give an account.

Kyle: Yeah. Um, we all have failures in our life. So, uh, when you're, as you're talking here, I'm thinking about the situational ethics I've been in where I have failed, done the wrong thing.

Amen, brother. And I know there's people in the crowd here that are thinking that same thing. If you, if you've been that way or you reflect on the different ways you've maybe failed your kids or mm-hmm. Failed in your business, uh, uh, how would, how do you respond to that? How do, how do you go back and, and make things right?

Or how do you think through that?

Tray: That's a great question, Kyle. Um, we've all failed. When you fail, the worst thing you can do is shove it under the carpet. Worst thing I could have done with my son, pinched him on the rib, and he goes, are we in the kitchen? I'm like, no, we're not in the kitchen. Uh, you know, I, you're gonna do, you know what the, you know what the penalty is?

I'm like, I don't have to do pushups. And then you just [00:33:00] shattered a belief system because for 20 years you didn't play in the kitchen. And if you shattered that belief system, then, then what do you have? So, back to the question one more time. How

Kyle: do you respond to that when you do things like that? Let's say you did do that a couple weeks ago.

Yes. Yes. And, and you realized a couple hours later, you know, I've, I've gone against my own word. Mm-hmm. Um, or different situations we think back on, how do you, how do you go make those things right. If it's in business or in in your own, uh, home. Yes.

Tray: You go back and admit your own. It's hard to swallow your pride, especially when you're a leader, when you're the CEO of a company.

When you're the father of a big family, when you are in charge of a church, when you're in charge of, because your pride starts going, I can't admit I was wrong because if I admit I was wrong, nobody will still respect me. It's not the truth. They'll actually respect you that much more when you stand up and you go, [00:34:00] that was me.

And so when I would mess up with my sons, when I would mess up in the Marine Corps, I'd go back to 'em and I'd say, Hey, look, here's what happened. I was wrong. Here's what the Bible says I should have done. I was wrong. Will you forgive me? And they'd say, of course, I'll forgive you. And so, and when I was in the Marine Corps and I failed at one of the 14 leadership principles of the Marine Corps, I'd go back to who I'd failed and I ask 'em to forgive me.

That'll build 10 times more trust, 10 times more respect than trying to sweep it under the carpet and think you're getting away with it. 'cause you're not actually getting away with it. The street's watching, people are watching and they know you. Nothing's hidden. It'll all come to light. Yeah.

Kyle: Okay.

Another leadership principle or lesson. Mm-hmm. Love the people that fail you. Any examples of ways you [00:35:00] failed? Uh. Leaders or how they responded to you? I mean, you shared the one story already. Mm-hmm. Um, like loving the people that fail you. Uh, you know, our kids fail us. Uh, sometimes our, our employees that work for us do the wrong thing.

Uh, our colleagues fail. Us family members, uh, fail us. How do you love the people that fail you? What, why is that something that you wanted to talk about? Why is that important?

Tray: Um, love's not conditional, right? Real love is, yeah, real love's not conditional. God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son.

It wasn't conditional. He gave his son before the foundation of the world, and he did that in his transcendence, knowing that Trey Artis was gonna fail him miserably over and over and over. He knew that I was going to fail him in every way possible [00:36:00] and still do often, but he still loved me enough to put himself out there for me.

And so as I fail, I remember that failure's not final. And then when God looks at me, he looks me through, through the blood of Christ. I failed in the Marine Corps

my, my career, when. When you look at my bio, I've had people claim that it's stolen valor. I had this one guy read my bio and he goes, that's not true. I said, what do you mean it's not true? He goes, that, that's not true. I said, you want me to go pull my service record and show you? And he goes, actually, I'd like to see it.

I went and pulled my service record and he read it and he went,

it's true. [00:37:00] Luke 1 37 says, for with God, nothing shall be impossible. The things I got to do from flying in airplanes to jumping outta airplanes, to fighting with special forces, you don't get to do all that stuff. It just doesn't happen. But God orchestrated that through my failures, through my stupidity.

Uh, Romans, uh, eight, chapter 28 says, and we know all things work together for the good of them that love God and are called according to his purpose. I've known that since I've given my life to Christ, but he loved me so much. He was working it all together to get me to the place to accept him. You know, so that's failure's never final.

Kyle: So that's a good on your own failures and how to respond to it. What about the people that, uh, have failed you and how do and how to love them Well, um, you know, our, if our, if our kids fail us, how do you, how do you discipline your kids? Well, [00:38:00] or, and, and when, when they fail or when employees fail. Mm-hmm.

Uh, sometimes in huge ways. Mm-hmm. So like that, how, how do you, um, we, we love them, but that still doesn't mean that there's necessarily trust or discipline needs to happen.

Tray: Right. Stuff like

Kyle: that. So maybe start with kids. Like how do you, how do you discipline your kids in love when, when they've failed?

Tray: First of all, be careful pointing fingers at people. 'cause when you're pointing a finger at somebody, there's three of 'em pointing back at you. So when you start getting very pious and high and mighty with your kids, remember you were 17 one time. You know, remember you were an 8-year-old. Remember you were a 4-year-old.

Uh, that's one way. Question one more time.

Kyle: How do you discipline them? Mm-hmm. How you discipline kids when they fail you or Yeah. Yes. Start with kids, then we'll go to something else.

Tray: Um, be careful pointing fingers. Second of all, the way I disciplined my sons. Now my daughter's a little different but similar.

'cause men and men and women are different. [00:39:00] Both wonderfully made by God. Uh, just different. And, but I used things that were additive in their life. Like we're talking about knuckle pushups. My son, one of my sons lied to me one time, and I won't call his name out here, but he um, he lied to me and I knew he lied to me and I called him out on it and he said, yes, I lied to you.

I said, I'm glad you told me you lied to me. So now go get your running shoes. And we went on a 10 mile run and halfway back on the run, we were probably, so we went five out, we were about two miles back. I took him down running right down. It's the middle of winter. We went right running down the pier and said, jump in the water.

And he goes, I'm not jumping in the water. I knew he was gonna say that. So I shoved him and he went off into the Cold River and then I dove in behind him. [00:40:00] So, and what I was, we were down in the water and he goes, you're crazy. I'm freezing to death. I'm like, you're not freezing to death. And I started splashing him in the face.

I said, lion's fun, isn't it? And he's like, what do you mean? I said, you're causing both of us to suffer right here when you do dumb things and lie. The whole family suffers. And now I'm in this water. You've made me get in this water with you. We're in here with our shoes on, our clothes on, and now we're suffering.

You, you get it? And he goes, I'm sorry. I said, I'm sorry too, and I forgive you. Now let's swim to shore. So we swam to shore and ran the last couple three miles home. We were blistered and squishy and cold and nasty, but he didn't do much lying after that. So things, you can get away with some pretty hard discipline as long as you're right there with them.

When they [00:41:00] messed up, I was right there with them.

Kyle: Yeah. So I think it reminds me of some other stories you've told me. Even you sent 'em outside to like, you know, in the cold mm-hmm. In the backyard or mm-hmm. Or they had to go do a certain amount of pushups. You always did the punishment with them. Yes. No matter what the punishment was.

Yes. You, you joined them in the punishment and, and you said that the punishment by themself, if they had to do it with themself, it would've been too harsh, could be because you did it with them. It wasn't like, what impact does that have in, in doing it with them? Why is that? And how did you learn that by, by the way as well,

Tray: sir.

Kyle: How did you learn that

Tray: It's Marine Corps, it's, it, it, the Marine Corps, and I'm a little biased, but I think it's, as far as conventional units, I'm not talking about specific special forces units. Um, Canada has a wonderful para, para, uh, units. It has joint task force too. They're phenomenal special forces kind of guys.

But as far as a conventional unit, they're hard. US Marine Corps is hard to beat and [00:42:00] everything in the Marine Corps on leadership has a consequence. You don't do this, this happens. You don't do this. This happens sometimes. It's, uh, monetary. Sometimes it's, they just taught me to lead from the front. And then in doing so, I adapted that through God's grace to being a father and, and being a father.

You are the leader of the home, which is way more important than any lead I ever did in the Marine Corps or overseas or in, because the fate of the western world lies in the mother and the father. We are failing right now in this world because fathers are failing. If men stand up and be men, then the Godly women will fall right in behind them [00:43:00] and you'll have a homogeneous home.

The kids will be raised in the love, love and admonition of the Lord, and we will have better citizens. At minimum, we'll have better citizens and maximum we may have more folks in the kingdom of God.

Kyle: So a lot of people, including yourself, haven't been set up well to be a Godly man or, or, or that type of man you're, you're talking about.

And so what if you're in that situation where mm-hmm. You know, you haven't been taught growing up, you know? Mm-hmm. How, how to do the, the right things, the right way, or you're not in the Marines. Mm-hmm. Uh, um, how do you practically learn, go learn these things and, and change.

Tray: I think you might call your fiercely curious coaching show and they could, uh, 'cause we, we have two different styles of coaching.

Neither one's better, neither one's worse. They're just different. Yours is a very Socratic system. And asking questions and asking questions and asking [00:44:00] questions.

Kyle: I also don't have your resume.

Tray: What's that?

Kyle: I also don't have your resume.

Tray: Well, it, nor were you supposed to have it or you would because what I tell everybody is if you don't have it, you don't need it.

'cause God would've given it to you if you needed it. Mine doesn't make any sense because I was born to a single mother and I didn't have a good education and it was literally the hand of God. I can see moving me different directions at these points in my life. And the older I get, the more I really realize, Kyle, that I played a role, but it wasn't nearly as big as I thought it was.

You know, I thought I was, as a young man, that I was forging my own way, that I was breaking new ground. I was a chain breaker, I was a whatever. I couldn't have done any of it if [00:45:00] God hadn't set me up. You know it, the older I get, the less I know and the older I get. I mean, on my phone. I have Psalms, uh, 41 says, God, take me by my right hand and lead me because I'm just, I'm, I'm like, Peter, I'm, I'm a 4-year-old or worse, just able to walk, you know, lead me by my right hand.

Kyle: Yeah. Rozo was reading, uh, in, in, in the Bible this morning about, uh, I think it was Peter and James. They were, uh, arguing about who gets to sit on what side of Jesus. That's right. And Jesus responds like, you need to be humble like a child. And to follow me,

Tray: one of my favorite verses in the Bible is Micah six eight.

It's gonna be on the headstone. It says, shown the old man. What is good and what does the Lord require? The to do justly, to love, mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God.

Kyle: Back to parenting a little bit, uh, what do you parent each of your kids the same way that you like the consequences are the same, or, or like the rules are the [00:46:00] same.

Mm-hmm. No favorites, but do you think you should parent, um, kids differently depending on their character?

Tray: So I told, I have an older, I have an oldest daughter and then I have four sons. And I told 'em all this, I'm preparing you for your path. I'm not preparing the path for you. I didn't say, you have, you do this, you do that, you do this, you do that.

And, and made 'em all do what I wanted 'em to do. I basically brought 'em up to a level of competency in their. Teens or so. And then, um, when the Bible says, train up a child in a way he should go. And when he's old, he will not be part of it. That when you look back at the Greek word there, it's when it says turned, it's the way God has been 'em, you know, the, like a, their, their path.

So when you train 'em on that path, that's the best thing for 'em. [00:47:00] And I truly believe that every one of my kids have gone the direction they should have. The way God kind of turned them. My oldest daughter's a registered nurse, uh, my oldest son who's number two, is an electrician, and he was a, he's a knucklehead.

Oh, when he was young, he was hardheaded. You couldn't, he had to do a thousand pushups. My arms about fell off with him, you know, he, but he goes, what do you think I ought to do when he's about 20 or 21? I said, you need to be an electrician. And he's like, why is that? And I said, you need instant gratification.

You touch the wrong thing, you're gonna get shocked. You touch the right stuff, you're not gonna get shocked. I, I said, I don't even think you ought to use the OS meter. I think you ought to test with your finger. And he's a windmill. He runs a whole windmill section and he runs a big crew and he thinks me profusely.

Uh, my, my next son's in the Air Force and he's my theologian and he's my [00:48:00] thinker and he's a cybersecurity expert. My next son, I was telling you about the guy that, the bad wreck, he's in paramedic school right now and my youngest son's gonna be a, an airline pilot because he's, that's just the way he's turned.

Kyle: Hmm. Okay. So back to the discipline side. Mm-hmm. Uh, like you, you said you set him up all, uh, the same to mm-hmm. You know, go whatever path they're gonna go on. Uh, but when it comes to disciplining them and, and, and discipling them is a different strategy for different ones. Like you said, Justin was hardheaded.

Did you have to take a different approach with him than, than other your other kids?

Tray: The, the rules have to be the same. The ethos have to be the same, but the methods have to be tailored to the individual. Justin, my 30 5-year-old son is a knucklehead and you had to put the heat on him to get through to him.

My next son, Ethan, who my theologian, if you looked at him and went, I [00:49:00] can't believe you did that, I'm very disappointed in you, and just crushed him. Uh, the next one was a little different and the last one is hardheaded too, but he's just a, is

Kyle: that something in the Marines as well that like for the guys underneath you, you, you, you knew, you, you had to learn, you know, what made them tick and, and yes,

Tray: that's part of the leadership.

One of the best leadership principles is know your unit and how to employ them. You never know your unit unless you know the individuals in there. You need to know their. If you're in business, you need to know your people who work for you's, name their background, know about their family, know what makes 'em tick so you can tailor their growth strategy.

Kyle: Okay, moving on. Be brilliant at the basics. Something you say a lot. Yes. Uh, brilliant at the basics. What are the basics? Why do you need to be brilliant, Adam? Why does it matter?

Tray: Because [00:50:00] in a world of people who can't just do the basics, for the most part, if you can just do the basics, you're doing pretty well.

Love God, love people. You know, it's, it seems super complicated, but those are the basics. 600, 636 old T commandments that they, you know, they piled on the law, they piled on. Uh, you had the original 10 Commandments and then Christ boiled it down to, it looks like two. But I was talking to, to Joel the other day.

It's really one, it's if you love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and mind, then you will love your neighbors yourself. You know, it's easy to love yourself. A lot of times it's hard to love your neighbor. I got some pretty ornery neighbors that are kind of hard to love, but I love 'em the best I can.

Kyle: So brilliant at [00:51:00] the basics in, in that regard. But also, what about in other ways? Like you, you talk about being brilliant at the basics when it comes to, uh, anywhere from health to mm-hmm. Um, you know, just very basic things at home. Yes. Uh, very basic things in the workplace, like, like brilliant at those.

Mm-hmm. We tend to go and think of grandiose things to go do. Mm-hmm. And b um, you have always kept pushing me, just like, just do the simple things today. Mm-hmm. Uh, and don't worry about tomorrow.

Tray: Yes. Uh, being brilliant at the basics is just doing the right things. The problem with Western society, and you don't see it as much in third world countries, uh, second, third world countries, is that we're just too comfortable.

You know, it's too easy just to veg out, sit on the couch, eat Cheetos, drink soda, and not do anything. Watch TV for 10 hours. And that's usually not [00:52:00] necessarily the most productive thing. We have it too easy. We have, we have air conditioning, we have heaters. We have, we were talk, I was talking about, uh, I was talking with Joel again.

We're talking about moving gravel with shovels. I've seen people overseas, they will move huge piles. They can do things with shovels. You're like, there's no way people can do that. You know, two guys will move. A dump truck's worth of gravel in a couple hours. We, Western folks have it too easy. We're like, Hey, where's the skid steer?

No skid steer. Well, I guess we'll have to wait until tomorrow. So it's

Kyle: So you, you actually promote suffering a little bit, like you encouraged me to mm-hmm. Go suffer.

Tray: Mm-hmm. I do.

Kyle: Like, uh, why is that important and what are some of the practical ways that you've shared with me or that you wanna share here tonight?

Tray: Because once again, the [00:53:00] Western Church, for the last 300 years, specifically in North America, it's been pretty cushy for Christians for the most part. I mean, there's been some here and there trouble, but it's been pretty cushy. That hadn't been that way in the other 1700 years for the church. And it hadn't been that way in most other parts of the country or parts, other parts of the world.

But

the path of Christ is the path of suffering. It's this, name it and claim it. Christianity is not right. It's, you have to deny yourself, pick up your cross and fall of Christ. And we, we've had it too easy. We have to suffer. I am a fan of suffering. I'm a fan of suffering. Do something that stinks at least one time a day.

Something that hurts, something [00:54:00] you don't wanna do. Something that's outside your comfort zone. And I believe that teaches us discipline. Um, first John, I think it's chapter three, says, all that's in the world is a lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh, and the pride of life. You gotta beat the flesh down.

You've gotta make the flesh mind. One thing that I really love that not a lot of folks do anymore, specifically in the Western Church, is fasting. I mean, don't eat for two or three or four days and see, you'll learn a lot about yourself when you start trying to cut deals with yourself on, you know, day, hour 36.

You're like, maybe I could just have one bite of a banana or something. And then you gotta say, no. I set my mind to fast for spiritual growth and for physical health. What I love [00:55:00] about science these days, as they find out more things, they, on these, this longevity stuff and this health stuff, the more things they find out.

It just proves that the Bible, you know, that the new kick is fasting for health. We've been doing it for 6,000 years in the Bible, so it's, uh. It's an old practice.

Kyle: What other things, so you talk about fasting, what other, um, simple things can people do to the basic, some basic things? Mm-hmm. So maybe some suffering things or some just some good things.

Yes. Like, uh, there, obviously people know about Bible reading. Mm-hmm. I'm not sure, like if you're, maybe you can speak to that or prayer or

Tray: mm-hmm.

Kyle: Uh, other ways to suffer. Like what are some basic things? Physical health.

Tray: Um, my day starts early every morning. It starts with prayer and Bible reading. After that I, um, reign or

Kyle: How long, how long do you pray?

What do you read or what do you read? Um, what do, how do you know what to pray for?

Tray: How do I know what to pray for? I, um, I use [00:56:00] the acronym Cats Confess, adoration, Thanksgiving and Supplication. You know, I, I need a lot of confession. I'm, I'm Per, I'm far from perfect. So I, that's how I pray. It varies from 15, 20 minutes, 30, 40, just depends on the day.

Then I have a, that 365 Bible app that reads the Bible through every year. I have that, my old mentor brother, Powell Johnson, who was a, a Ranger and a Special forces guy back in 1963 in Vietnam, and he, he got me on reading the Bible, not for knowledge. He used to always say, you know, when I first met him 15, 16 years ago, read the Bible to know God.

'cause if you know God and you, you love him and you're in that relationship with [00:57:00] him, it makes understanding it so much easier. And so I do that. Then I immediately go outside, rain or shine. My wife does not like this, this practice rain or shine in a pair of shorts and go stand outside in the grass or the snow or the sand or wherever I am.

And um, get some deep breaths, 60 breaths through my nose, out through my mouth, getting oxygen, get my brain going. And then I come back in, um, and then go get in the hot tub and read some more Bible or or catch up on some news. And then I jump in a cold plunge right after the hot tub after 15 minutes, rain or shine outside in um, about 10 degrees water.

And it, you have to do things that are uncomfortable. 'cause we're gonna be asked to do lots of uncomfortable things in the coming years. Just 'cause it's always been one way. Doesn't mean it always will be that way. Yeah.

Kyle: Um, talk about health. Why [00:58:00] is like, you're a big health guy. Yes. Um, I remember when I was at your place.

After church on Sunday. They had a, I don't know, they had some food out and you're like, I don't, I don't do meth. Let's go home. And, uh, I don't know. I was just like, hotdog and burgers and cake. Uh, why is food important? Like, why is that something that you've chosen to put focus on?

Tray: Um,

the body is a temple of the holy Spirit of your state, right? Would you rather have a ugly, broken down hurt temple or would you rather have one that functions you, you should do, we should, we shouldn't focus on it so much that it becomes an idol, but we should focus on it enough to where we can get enough performance for our service.

Um, I believe that we've gotta be careful what we put in, because you wouldn't go down to the gas [00:59:00] station and pick up the water hose and stick it in your gas tank and fill your gas tank full of water. You'd want to fill it full of good fuel. I like to fill my tank full of racing fuel. So I have specific things I like to do.

I think we, once again, the western world and the world in general eats way too much sugar. Sugar processed sugar, tears up the insides of your veins and arteries. Uh, process carbohydrates. We, we eat way too many carbohydrates. I mean, you need some carbohydrates, but we need to cut way back as, as people. I, I'm big on, uh, protein, clean proteins and then clean fats, and I'm huge on olive oil.

And once again, God gave me that one years back. I was reading, you know, they anointed them with oil, you know, their, the, the Elijah and the widow was oil. I'm like, I, [01:00:00] I started studying and it was pure organic olive oil. And so I do about a liter of olive oil a week. You don't know, but I have a, I have a half a liter up in the room.

I'm staying. Yeah. I'm not surprised. And I've been hitting, you know, a couple, three ounces every morning just to, it's really good for your stomach, really good for your joints, really good for your

Kyle: hair

Tray: and

Kyle: your

Tray: skin.

Kyle: Okay. And is that something that you've always put focus on? Or like, is that who taught you that health was important?

You talk about it being your body. Uh, temple of the Holy Spirit, um, is that Holy Spirit.

Tray: Holy Spirit over time taught me that I, he's the counselor, you know, he, he has mentored me on that because I noticed that. So my favorite thing in the world is cheesecake. Any, we have any other cheesecake lovers out there?

I was just in Italy a couple weeks ago. They had these [01:01:00] pieces of cheesecake that looked like, and they were crumbly and they were, and I kept looking at 'em and looking at 'em, and I hadn't had any cheesecake in years. I'm like, oh man, my wife's like, just have one baby. You know, you can have one. And you know, my slippery slope thing, right?

So I taught my, taught my kids. I said, life's a slippery slope. Be careful about compromise because it gets steeper and slicker the further you get off of the, the path. She goes, just have one. And I said, sweetheart, I eat so little sugar that if I eat that piece of cheesecake, you're gonna have to carry me back to the hotel.

'cause I'll be like, whoa. It'd be like, I, I, you know, took a shot of some drug or something, but it, um, sugar hurts us. We gotta be really careful. It, um, it hurts our heart, it hurts our veins. It hurts a lot of stuff. [01:02:00]

Kyle: Okay, one of the last ones here. We'll go to the q and a. Discipline equals freedom. Amen, brother.

Oh, you taught me that. So you talk about it. Why does discipline equals freedom?

Tray: Discipline equals freedom because for those that were alive back in the sixties, you know, the, the free, the free times. Back then they thought that if you could live wild. That you were free, you weren't, you know, you weren't, uh, being held down by the man or whatever.

But what you'll find is that the only true freedom you'll ever have is in Christ and in a disciplined life. Because if you ever, like your office, for instance, you ever notice when your office gets dirty and you don't really want to clean it, you're like, I don't want to clean this office. I just wanna work.

I don't wanna clean this office. But when [01:03:00] you clean that office, you feel so much better. Like

Kyle: mm-hmm.

Tray: People are natural procrastinators. So when you discipline yourself, faith, family, friends of stuff, you keep your body clean, you keep your mind clean, you keep your stuff clean, you keep in order. It's just one less thing to have to worry about.

And because, you know, folks are natural kind of procrastinators and warriors, just, I think maybe all people are in, in some ways, unless you're a DD, some people are really like hyper, uh, what do they call those people? I had a buddy's wife said hyperactive. Uh, she's hyperactive in, you know how she's hyperactive?

She's a cleaner and hyperactive person.

Kyle: Oh,

Tray: okay. You'll go to her house and she'll be jogging around, vacuuming, all kind of stuff. But if discipline equals freedom, you will have no freedom without discipline.

Kyle: Discipline. And what kind of things, like what are the, what are the, you could pick three things to be disciplined in.

What would they.

Tray: Uh, discipline in your walk with [01:04:00] God, uh, discipline in the way you treat your wife and your kids, and discipline in how you eat and interact with other folks. That's four. I'll just keeping count. I had to get that last name.

Kyle: Fair. Fair enough. Okay. And, and, uh, was that discipline something that you've also was, were taught like in the Marines or where, where did that discipline come from?

Tray: Um, discipline started young for me. Uh, it, I had a, I had a stepfather that wasn't necessarily a nice guy, but he valued toughness. And so he worked us like dogs and, and it, it taught me just to, to suffer through things as a young man. And God worked it all together for my good. And you just have to want to,

Kyle: you

Tray: as a man think us.

Uh, Proverbs [01:05:00] 1610 says, A man as a man think us in his heart. So he is, if you set your mind to it, you set your heart to it. You rely on the power of the Holy Spirit to guide you and help you. You could, there's nothing you can't do.

Kyle: Yeah. That, that's a good segue into, uh, mentors. Yeah. Um, because as much as you might want to do that on your own mm-hmm.

You'll usually fall off. Mm-hmm. The wagon, um, uh, how do you. What's the importance of mentors in your life? Like I, I've, you know, opened with sharing the impact you've had on my life and other mentors have as well. Um, how do you find a good mentor, um, who mentored you?

Tray: Mm-hmm. You should seek a mentor and be mentoring somebody behind you.

The magic number, like we've always talked about, all truth comes from God's word. And so remember that Christ had Peter, James, and John. Those were the ones that were really close to him. You know, he had his, his others in his inner circle and [01:06:00] then there were others as you got further out. But Peter, James, and John Sew, the one to three is kind of a magic disciple number.

Uh, not magic, it's just biblical way to do it. But you've got to have a, somebody you're getting mentored by and then you need to be reaching back and mentoring somebody else. Um, getting a good church. Find somebody you admire, somebody that you think has a clo, a close walk with Christ. And then go ahead and go ahead and say, Hey, I could we go get coffee or something.

Black coffee. I know you like, coffee tree

Kyle: gives me crap for drinking black coffee. Um, that's the one thing that you, I, I surprised me, you don't do. Uh, okay, so who, who some mentors in your own life that had a, had a big impact.

Tray: Uh, brother Powell Johnson, like I talked about. Ranger in 1960. So what,

Kyle: what did Powell Johnson do?

How did he impact you?

Tray: He,

Kyle: did you want him to mentor you? Did he, [01:07:00] did he show you? No,

Tray: no, I didn't want him to mentor me. Okay. He picked me and rode me like a rendered mule. You know, he, um, he picked me, but he was unashamed of God's work. We were, one time, we were at a, we had gone shooting and he said, Trey, I need you to teach me how to shoot that newfangled way.

I'm like, you talk about how you actually shoot for the Powell? He's like, yes, teach me. So he got out there, he brought his shoulder holster and his, uh, 1911, you know, the old, uh, 1911 from World War II in Vietnam and that stuff. And I showed him how to shoot properly, and he's like, pulls it out one handed and shoots like, he, he used to shoot.

And I'm like, brother, how did you listen to anything I had to say? He goes, son, I've been shooting before you were alive. I'm like, yes, sir. You have, I guess I don't, you don't need to teach you anything. But after that, we went to, um, [01:08:00] there was a outlaw biker rally going on at this place, and I was gonna drive past it and keep on going.

He goes, I'm hungry. I said, brother Powell, I don't think we ought to pull in there. He goes, I said, I'm hungry. I wanna pull in there. So he goes in and starts. Presenting the gospel to all these outlaw bikers. And I'm like, we are going to get shot, killed, or stabbed. But he did not care. He walked around, he goes, if, if you don't wanna be here, go stand outside.

I'm like, no brother Pat. I'm not gonna stand outside. I'm here with you. And he went around and witnessed to these outlaw bikers and the Holy Spirit protected him. 'cause nobody was even mean to him. He, they just listened to him like, thank, thank you, sir for that. Thank you. Oh man, no, I don't want that. And kept on going, but he picked me and he was unashamed of the, of the gospel.

He was unashamed with God's. How did, how did he

Kyle: pick you? Were you guys in the same, same unit together, or like, how did you, how did he [01:09:00] come to pick you and, and how did you accept his mentoring? Because that's another thing sometimes. Mm-hmm. We resist it and, you know. Yes. And it's useless.

Tray: I, I was visiting this church in Texas.

Uh, I was on my command tour, my last tour end up being, my last tour in the Marine Corps. I was on my command tour and I was visiting this church and he walked up and he goes, are you an Airborne Ranger? And I go, no sir, I'm not. I'm a Marine. He goes, are you at least airborne? I'm like, yes sir, I'm a parachutist.

He goes, that'll be good enough. Turned around and walked off. And I looked at the pastor and I go, what was that? And he goes, he goes, looks like Pal Johnson just picked you. I'm like, what do you mean? He picked me? He goes, he picks men's, the mentor, he looks like he just picked you. And he started mentoring me whether I wanted or not.

I try to, I try to get away from him initially early, but he, he wouldn't have it. He'd be waiting on me at church. He'd be waiting on me Wednesday night. He'd be waiting on me every time that the doors were opened and he'd come sit by me. Yeah.

Kyle: How do you pick someone to mentor? [01:10:00]

Tray: Um,

I don't pick for talent.

Kyle: That's why you picked me.

Tray: I pick for potential. I, all my years in the Marine Corps, I see diamonds in the rough and I see potential and I mentor folks who are going to be great. They may not be great today, but they're gonna be great.

Kyle: Hmm. Um, last question. Uh, loneliness among men is especially bad in the western world.

Yes. A lot of men are completely alone and don't have someone to talk to. Yes. Um, why is that? And how do we battle that?

Tray: We have to get real. You have to be willing to be vulnerable. It's, you've seen it. I say, Hey Kyle, how you doing? I'm great. Never better. How are you, Trey? Perfect. If I was any better, I'd be twins.

I'm [01:11:00] perfect. No, it's not. My neck hurts right now. My, my, my back hurts. I went hiking with Joe. My knee hurts from going up and down. Those, um. We're not, we've gotta be willing to be real with each other. And that's part of the mentoring up and down the chain. You've gotta be real, you've gotta be willing to say, I'm not all right today.

Like the day you called me and I was mad 'cause I couldn't go overseas and I was grumpy, you know, I, I didn't hide it. I was like, I'm mad and I don't wanna talk about it.

Kyle: Yeah. Right on. Gotta be real. Gotta be real. Okay guys, thank you for listening to that. I appreciate it. Uh, love to get your questions. So it's uh, 8 0 8 right now.

Um, at eight 20. Uh, we'll set the q and a. We'll put the QR code on the screen. Um, love to get your questions and uh, give them, give 'em some hard ones, some good ones. And uh,

Tray: [01:12:00] and if somebody doesn't know how to use a QR code, that's me. 'cause I'm an analog man in Digital World. There's a microphone right

Kyle: here.

We'll get a mic here. Yeah, I just raise your hand. Okay. See you back here at eight 20. Thanks.

Tray: It's good buddy. Praise God. That's Holy Spirit driven. Yeah, it's, he, he got teed up. Everything needed to get teed up. What I, what I want to see, I want them to hear. Is, I want to hear that I'm not ashamed to weed the Bible, the gospel into everything in my life. You want to talk to tra or you're going to hear about the gospel.

You're gonna hear about the.[01:13:00] [01:14:00] [01:15:00] [01:16:00] [01:17:00] [01:18:00] [01:19:00] [01:20:00] [01:21:00] [01:22:00] [01:23:00] [01:24:00]

Okay.

You wanna say two minutes? Starting two minutes? Yeah. Okay.

Starting, we'll be starting again. About two minutes. That was a little loud. It's good. I didn't tend to be that loud. I'm like, whoa. He's hot.

We, we've got a, we've gotta address the psychedelic stuff.

Kyle: Yeah. Have

Tray: to.

Kyle: Yeah. It's okay. I'm, I'm not sure. Bring that mic a little closer. Objection. A little more.

Tray: I'll, I'll talk once time. Pardon? I'll talk once time. Yeah, sure. I, I would use my inside voice.[01:25:00]

Let's kick it. Hmm. Let's do it. Let's do it.

Kyle: Okay guys, we're gonna get started again here. Someone wants to holler out the people in the foyer they name when they want to. Okay. Uh, I've got a lot of questions here. Um, you can, I'm pretty sure in the app if you guys, uh, open that up. You can see the questions that were asked and you can upvote them.

And so we're not gonna be able to cover all the questions here, I don't think. So. If you see ones that you would love to see answered, uh, hop in there and, uh, hit the thumbs up on the different questions. So, okay. We'll start with, uh, one that just got up voted. Um, tell the story of, of when you met and, uh, why did the gospel become the center point of that conversation?

So I shared a little bit, uh, when we met. Yeah. When we met. Yeah. Yes, I shared a little bit. But from your perspective, uh, what do you remember from that day and, uh, what, why did we talk about [01:26:00] the gospel?

Tray: We were working a show overseas, I believe Germany. I was standing over there and you walked over and said, Hey, somebody dared me to come over and talk to you.

I'm like, why would they dare you to come talk to me? He's like, I don't know. They said, you're the owner of that company. I'm like, I'm not the owner. I'm a director. He's like, oh, they said you were the owner and we started talking and I could see the pain on your face, and there's only one real answer to that.

And so I said, Hey, so. So what do you know about Jesus? Or something like that. And you're like, well, I, I know about Jesus. I'm like, why's your face? Why's your face so sad then? And we just kind of rolled in and then I pulled out the book. I always have in my back pocket what done, what Most religions won't tell you about the Bible.

And, um, started talking to you about it. And you were pretty shocked that I would, I think if I, I'm not putting words in your mouth, but I think you're [01:27:00] pretty shocked that I would share the gospel in a secular setting. Yeah.

Kyle: I mean, even tonight you weave the Bible into almost everything, uh, you talk about.

And that's something that struck me from the very beginning that I, that I met you, uh, because I often, in my own life, I've experienced this, but I see it as quite common as well, where there's like shame around doing that. Um, where we just keep, you know, religion separate from our business world or mm-hmm.

Even in parenting and stuff like that. Uh, how do you get to that shameless spot? Why is that, and why is it important to you that you do that? Like,

Tray: remember, I, I talked to you about that buddy that just came to Christ after talking to him for 25 years. And he said this, he goes, Hey man, remember about 12 years ago when you, when you told me you were worried about my soul?

Well, I've, I've gotten right with God and I've come to Christ. And he goes, I want to tell you that real buddies care about each [01:28:00] other's soul. You know. We talk about the weather, we talk about hunting, we talk about boat, and we talk about fishing, we talk about whatever. But the most important thing is where you're gonna spend eternity.

'cause I'm not getting any younger, today's my birthday, 30 years from now, everything I have, or everything I ever will have will be somebody else's, most likely. And let's say the youngest person in here may be in their twenties, teens or twenties, 80 years from now, they won't be here either. Only thing that really matters where you're gonna spend eternity.

So you talk about weaving things in. First of all, you gotta know the, you've gotta read it. You've gotta read to know God. And once you know what he's trying to, what you think, you know, when you think you know what he is trying to say, you just, it's a map for life. It, it's in [01:29:00] everything I do, it's in everything I talk about.

It's, it's just, if you're gonna talk to me, all that. So people ask me to come speak sometimes for secular things. I said, look, you, I'm not gonna come get up there and preach a sermon to you. But the gospels in, and the bibles in everything I talk about and everything I do, Joel and I were out there today, um, up at Lake Chillowak and in there, and people came up, me like talking to us and they're like.

What are you doing? I'm like, we're just high on Jesus out here, buddy. Like, why'd you get in the water? 'cause it's good for you. That's why, why were you swimming? I'm like, 'cause it's good for your body. Come on man. And he's like, I'm not doing it. And he, they took off. He had a little dog, old dog with him.

They took off. Yeah. But it just, it weaves into who you are, what you really believe comes out from the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh, what [01:30:00] you truly believe comes out. Yeah. And if you're suppressing it, that's duplicity. And duplicity is no good.

Kyle: Yeah. Or you're not really excited about it. Mean you tell when someone's excited about something.

Right? That's right. You're always talking about work, always talking about sports, whatever it's, yeah. Um, one of the things I think about a lot is, uh, when my boys are older, in their twenties and stuff like that, I want them to call me, um, be in a spot where they voluntarily wanna call me when they've had a hard day.

Mm-hmm. Or they have a breakup or something else like that. Like I wanna have a close relationship with them. I think about it a lot. I I, it's one of the most important things in the world to me. And I know what's doing the simple things now mm-hmm. That will have that result in 20 years. Yes. And so today at your birthday, and you showed me some of the texts that you got from your kids, your daughter-in-law, and it was just like, wow.

Like that's, that's what I wanna pursue. And your actions show what you believe, like there's proof in the pudding. Would you be willing to share some of those, um, messages?

Tray: You put me [01:31:00] on the spot in embarrassment now. Uh, let's see here. This is from my theologian son, Justin. Lemme find it. Justin. I'm sorry Ethan.

Kyle: Well you pull that up. Mm-hmm. The question that's, uh, getting uploaded a lot is, can we get a bicep flex?

Tray: How am I gonna, how am I gonna do it in a, is that Julius? Where's Julius? Yeah, that was probably the question. 'cause I harass him. I, I do a call once a week with him and I start off with usually a bicep flex and say, what do you know about that, Julius?

Yeah. Where, where are you coming on with

Kyle: that? This, this is what Trey does to me as well. He'll, the boys will walk in when me and Trey are having to call and he, they show his arms or he'll pull out his pistol that's sitting in his crotch. And, uh, just like, how am I supposed to compete with that with my boys?

Like, doesn't work.

Tray: This is my son. My 28-year-old sent me this, um, text today from birthday. He [01:32:00] said, I wanted to say, happy birthday, sir. I know that you're always an example of what a man should be, especially at the times when others your age drop the ball in one way or another. I thank God when I think about what he gave us through you.

I hope you have a wonderful day and I'll see you soon. That was, and his wife said this and she's,

she's just a jewel. She said, um, happy birthday. Thank you for being a wonderful father figure of faith and discipline. I'm so blessed that Ethan, your son, has you to rely on for Godly advice as he fills his role as father of our family. Thank you for all that you do, and I hope you enjoy yourself today.

Kyle: Thanks for sharing that. I think it's just, you know, for anybody listening as well, like those are the things that you can motivate you to like, keep going and do the hard things now. It's such an awesome thing. [01:33:00] Okay, next question. What are some practical tips on how to share the gospel?

Tray: Start with your salvation story.

Everybody loves stories. So here, so I came to Christ 2004, September the 11th. I'd come to the end of myself. I was sitting on the third floor of a hotel room after an air show in Springfield, Illinois. And I was ashamed of myself. I was ashamed the way I'd led folks to drink beer party work over some other service guys, and Holy Spirit convicted me.

I fell on the ground, gave my life to Christ right there never been the same. So start with your own story. And if you don't have to know all the, you don't have to know the entire Bible. They may play stump the chump on you, and if they stump you, you go, that's a great question. Let me take down a note on that [01:34:00] and gimme your number and I'll get back to you on a text With that, I mean, it's don't be scared.

Fear's not from God, fear's from the devil. He's a liar, he's a thief from the beginning. Don't, don't be scared. Just give how you came to Christ and then just answer questions. Hmm.

Kyle: Okay. Describe a few missions in the F 18. What was the coolest thing that you've ever, that you would've done? Coolest thing I've done,

Tray: I, um, man, 2000 hours of flying it, so I did some really crazy missions in support of some of our JSO guys, some of the tier one guys.

We did some crazy stuff. The guy was flying with, got so excited. Strahan, you know what Strahan is, right? Yeah. Where you come in and shoot the gun. He was chasing this guy in this truck [01:35:00] with the gun and got so excited, almost hit the ground. Like he got focused and I remember going, pull up, pull up, pull up.

And he's like, I was like, whoa, boy. That was close. He got him. But I mean, it was,

Kyle: yeah.

Tray: It's hard to miss when you're shooting that close, you know? That's, that was one of the crazy ones. Um.

Kyle: Reminds me actually, when you said you took your son to Top Watch Top Gun. Yes. And you came out and uh, and he asked you, dad, was it that cool?

And you were like, it's better. It's better.

Tray: And here's how good God was. I watched the movie Top Gun and I'm gonna date myself here in the summer of 1986, after I graduated high school on a drive-in theater. And I watched it and I told my buddies, I'm like, I think I'm gonna do that. And they're like, you can't do that.

You're a dummy. They said, only like aerospace engineers and mathematicians and smart people can do that. I'm [01:36:00] like, and at the time I went, you get to ride motorcycles, play volleyball, fly in planes, drink beer and chase girls. This sounds like the job right here. My goodness gracious. What I didn't know was it would, uh, 30 something years later, 30 something years later, I'd be standing there and my son said, will you go see Top Gun Two Maverick with me?

I'm like, no, I don't really want to go see

Kyle: it.

Tray: And he's like, please come see it with me. And when we saw it at the same theater that I saw Top Gun One, but the old ragged, old ragged outdoor driving theater wasn't there anymore. We saw it inside and I walked out and I was looking at that and I was thinking, you know, that screen looks a lot like me right now.

All kind of broken down. And he said, was it, he looked at me and he goes, was it really that good? I said, Nope. It was better it there, I got to fly with the Blue Angels in an air [01:37:00] show. I got to Sport Marines, sailors and soldiers. I, we went down a street in Eastern Baghdad one time, probably at about 75 feet and about 600 miles an hour, just right above the rooftops, blowing people on the ground with the, to scare 'em off.

'cause they were trying to hurt some of our soldiers. I mean, it just, there's too much to tell. We'd we'd have to go out to dinner, whoever asked that question, I have to go out to dinner and, and tell you about a thousand of 'em.

Kyle: Okay. Psychedelics.

Tray: Yes.

Kyle: You and I did psychedelics together. Yes. You, uh, told me one day you said, Hey Kyle, I think there's something we need to go do down in San Diego that you need to do.

Yeah. Mm-hmm. And so we went down there and did that had a huge impact on me. Yes. Was able to talk about everything that happened to me as a kid. Mm-hmm. Uh, the question is, uh, what would you say the long-term aftermath, um, of psychedelic therapy has been on your [01:38:00] life? What are your thoughts toward responsible use of psychedelics?

Tray: Thanks for that question. Whoever said that. Um, first of all, I think they have to be used very carefully because I've known people who have gotten psychedelic therapy and they need therapy every Friday and Saturday night. Now I'm like, hang on a second. Why Fred, why are you having, why are you doing therapy every Friday and Saturday night?

I'm like, where's your provider? Well, there's no provider. I'm my own provider now. So it's, it's dangerous. It's dangerous stuff. You can open up some portals if you're not careful that don't need to be open. But there are, I have seen it help people who have deep trauma, deep post-traumatic stress, because it pulls your guard down to where you can actually talk about it.

I was there when you were [01:39:00] getting your therapy and

it was real. It was scary. It was, but I think it needs to be used only under the care of a provider and it needs to be very limited, just enough to get the therapy done and the trauma done. I can see, I can see it still hurts a little bit.

Kyle: I was just, uh, I mean, I'm very thankful that you took the time.

Yeah, I would, I would say to add, to add to that actually, also, it's just a lot of prayer. Like I had, I was kind of scared to do it 'cause I'm like, what is this? Like, I've never done these drugs before and, uh, I'm gonna start taking psilocybin and DA mushrooms, like, you know, with some, I knew it was illegal, but, so I asked, I think three or four guys to fast and pray for me all, all day, um, that day, those two days.

And, uh. And I know we were praying a lot as well. And, and I think that can't be underestimated.

Tray: So I think if it's used as a psychiatric medicine in a [01:40:00] limited, because if we're going to have a surgery, we sure want some painkiller.

Kyle: Yep.

Tray: We don't want to have to bite, we know, bite a piece of leather and have our leg cut off.

So it used recreationally. I think it's can be very, very destructive. I said, but used as a medicine under providers care. I think it has an application, but it's not for everybody either.

Kyle: Okay. Work idols are super common among men.

Tray: Mm-hmm. Idols.

Kyle: Yeah. Work. Work. Idolize. Work. Work idol. Okay. Work idol are super common among men.

How do you prevent work from becoming an idol? Mm-hmm. And how do you keep prioritizing faith, family and friends in the proper order when you call furious Curious coaching. Okay. Go, go ahead.

Tray: Yes. Um, you simply keep your priorities, your faith, your family, and your friends. You don't put your work above your faith.

You don't, you don't work extra hard late into the night on a Wednesday. You don't work on Sunday. God rested on [01:41:00] Sunday. When he, um, he worked six days and rested on Sunday. Not, do you think, do you think God needed rest?

Kyle: Probably not.

Tray: No. He did it to model it for us. So, uh, we have a, we have a franchise down in the States called Chick-fil-A.

They're closed every Sunday and they make. They make as much or more than everybody else in six days when a lot of those places are open 24 hours. Okay.

Kyle: So I grew up in a community where no one ever worked on Sunday Uhhuh, and there's still a lot of workaholics. Yes. So

Tray: mm-hmm.

Kyle: It, it's, it's more than just not working on Sunday.

True. It, it, how do you keep your faith at priority? Like, how do you, and, and why do you think it is that so many men default mm-hmm. To overworking? Is it avoiding home? Is it, uh, accolades you get at work? Like, what is it that, you know, you think makes it so attractive and addictive?

Tray: It work by its very nature is works based.

We're able to work for value [01:42:00] and that's where a lot of other religions differ from Christianity. Jesus already paid it. He did it. It's, it's a free gift. Yeah. Over here, the flesh, your natural man wants to work for value. So that's why we work like slaves. I did it, you know, he without sin can cast a first stone.

I did it, you know, I worked like crazy. I, um, my 28-year-old, I was gone the first two years of his life at the Marine Corps because every time there was another fight to be had or another deployment, I'd put my hand up and my wife's like, are you ever gonna come home and see your son? And I'm like, kind of hit me in the face.

I'm like, what do you mean? I'm, I'm off saving the free world. Don't you know that? She's like, it looks like you're avoiding us. It looks like you and I had prioritized not that what I was doing was wrong or bad, [01:43:00] it's just I had misplaced priorities. I made my work, my God. And that's where we get in trouble.

Kyle: Religion. Religion says, do Jesus says, done.

Tray: That's right.

Kyle: Okay. Do people with addictive qualities just switch addictions like from lust to alcohol or smoking? Can there such, can there be such a thing as a positive addiction?

Tray: So it is very common to switch addictions 'cause people have addictive personalities.

Uh, my Aunt Sandy was a, um, was a kid of the sixties. You know, she grew teenager in the sixties and she would switch addiction one to another, to another, to another, to another. And she'd be clean for a while and another, another. And then she found Jesus the last few years of her life, uh, she died a year ago, last May.

And, but when she found Jesus, she became addicted.[01:44:00]

Don't do that. Nobody saw that today. Don't nothing see up here. Um, the last couple of years of her life, when she found Jesus, she got addicted to Jesus. And everything she did was about. God wanted her to do her music, her speech, her demeanor, her what she did day to day. And if you're going to, if you're gonna be addicted to something, be addicted to God and Jesus and his work.

Yeah.

Kyle: So I would say I would've been a believer for a while. Mm-hmm. When I was still dealing with addictions.

Tray: Yes.

Kyle: Um, and so what you're saying implies that when you're following Jesus, the addictions are gone.

Tray: Uh, partially.

Kyle: Yeah. Can you just un unpack that a bit more? Unpack it?

Tray: Yes. I'm saying that an addiction is something that you can't do without something that [01:45:00] controls you, something that has a hold of you, literally has hooks in.

You turn to Jesus and let him control you. Let him have hooks in you. Let him be your focus. Let him control you. I'm here. Here's, here's the verse on my phone. It's Isaiah forty one thirteen. For either, Lord your God, hold your right hand. It is, it is I who say to you, fear not. I'm the one that helps you.

I'm not scared to say that I don't know what to do. Sometimes I'll be sitting at my desk at my house and I'll go, God, I, I really don't know what to do on this one, and I'll literally do this. I go, God, take me by the right hand because I don't know what to do. Help me make the next right decision. We've gotta be humble enough as a man to say that we don't know because we are just men.

We're just women. We're just humans. We know what's going on right now at this event and history. [01:46:00] We don't know the future. I mean, the whole world could end in three months. There's never been a crazier time than, I mean, look at it like we're living dog years. Every year seems like seven, you know, things changing so fast.

Yeah. What would you do without a solid faith in 2025?

Kyle: Yeah. Okay. What would you say to someone who is content with mediocrity? Mm-hmm. If they have everything they need unambitious and they're content not to outshine others in life,

Tray: I would say God makes people different. And I would say that I believe that still they would benefit from a little more discipline, benefit from a little more pain.

Because remember, Christ's path was a path of suffering. Just, you know, going through life [01:47:00] in kinda like a little, a state of, of just bliss or kinda low level. Um, I guess they use their own word mediocrity. I don't like necessarily like that word, but mediocrity because God makes people different. Maybe your very best on a certain thing is way better than mine, and am I mediocre because of that?

Or maybe I'm just doing the best I possibly can. So you gotta, God makes us all different. So, I mean, I, I don't know if I answered that question right, but I So

Kyle: what if you're not, you know, you're being mediocre according to your own abilities. Mm-hmm. And you're just like, you know, I'm just not motivated to be, you know, a better dad or mm-hmm.

Maybe like, have a offer an excellent service. I'm okay with offering a mediocre service.

Tray: I think you better think about the long-term ramifications of the things we do. Mediocre dads make mediocre or worse kids, [01:48:00] mediocre moms make mediocre or worse. My garage is proof that evolution is not true. It does not turn into a three bedroom mansion or to five bedroom mansion.

It gets worse. So if you're somewhere generally, and you are not in your mediocre, it won't get better. If, if you are striving to be better and leading, then people want to come with you. Everybody wants to be on a winning team. Growing. Yeah. Yes.

Kyle: Okay. Uh, is there a mission from your time in the special forces you can talk about that was impactful to you?

The mission made a difference in a group of other people's lives?

Tray: Um, yes. I was wounded on the first of Jan, 1st of July, 2006. And I got wounded early on in a, in an ambush fight. And [01:49:00] we had to fight our way out of that ambush. And it was about 45 minutes. I was hurt pretty bad and I was

Kyle: piece of rebar on your shoulder, right?

Tray: What's that

Kyle: piece of rebar on your shoulder?

Tray: An explosion, a piece of rebar. Went in my shoulder and broke my shoulder and broke my shoulder blade. And that's another story for another time, but it pretty close to killing me. Um, and when we got, when we fought our way out of that and we controlled artillery and close air support and fought them back at the end of it, we were in the, several people were wounded through gunfire and through different things.

And when we're in the vehicle going to the hospital, it was in the middle of the night, probably three, four in the morning. Sun wasn't up yet. Um, I was riding with a young guy, one of the younger special forces, young guy, maybe late twenties, [01:50:00] young thirties. I was late thirties at the time. Um, and he had been wounded in the hip and so.

He was holding a bandage on his own hip and he was holding a bandage on my shoulder and I was leaning against him and he said, Tonto, what's gonna happen? What's gonna happen to us? Am I gonna lose my hip? Or I said, you know, Mike, I don't know John. You know John, I don't know. I said, but I know that in my life, God has worked all things together for my good and this will work to my good also.

And at that point, there were a bunch of rough, grizzly bearded folks that turned around and looked at me for like a long, hard one or two or three seconds, and then went back to, you know, looking over the edge of the truck. As we were driving later, they said, I was in shock and I was babbling, Bible verses.

I wasn't in shock in babbling Bible verses. I was just reinforcing, I was [01:51:00] reinforcing a concept to a young man who was, I mean, he was scared, he was hurt, he was bleeding. He had a hole in his hip, you know, he went on to be a physician's assistant, you know, he's a, he's long been out, but he's a physician's assistant now.

But it, that was one that, that I think changed folks' lives because they, like, they saw, they saw that I wasn't, I wasn't scared to talk about it with a hole in my shoulder. I wasn't scared to talk about it. And some of 'em got really mad at me. They're like this, that has no place in what we're doing right now.

I'm like, what do you mean it has no place? That's who I am. If I have a place, it has a place. So that was a, a, a good one. One night we were out, um, they had carried us in a helicopter and dumped us off a long ways away from a target. And we were hiking in [01:52:00] and as we were hiking in, it was this brutal pace.

It was nighttime in rack, but it was still hot and it was this brutal, brutal, probably four and a half miles an hour with my kit was about 70 pounds and four and a half, five miles an hour. So it's like a, like a shuffle. Not a run, but a shuffle. And we had to go a long ways. And when I started seeing rangers falling out, I'm like, this thing is getting real here.

'cause rangers are in shape. And as we got closer to target, we slowed down and I heard the AC one 30, you know, AC one 30 gunship, it's like a big four engine, four propeller plane that has all kinds of guns on the left side. But he started talking about a guy that was observing the patrol. So he knew the rules of engagement.

Rules of engagement were, if they were observing in patrol, they were out at night, they had a [01:53:00] weapon, they were a military age male, 15 to 65. They were digging, they were hostile. So he goes, he gave me, I can't talk about my call sign, but he called me by my call sign, uh, my, my three digit call sign. And um, he said, we have somebody observing your patrol.

I said, okay, monitor it. He goes, and I have him digging. He's digging. I go, I understand monitor. He goes, he has a weapon. He's monitoring, he has a weapon. He's digging.

Okay. And then he came back a little bit later as we're getting closer to this compound. It's not the compound we're hitting. We have to go past this compound. He goes, he, he has a weapon. He's digging. He's out at night. He's a military age male. He's observing the patrol. And as I got closer, I could see him on the night vision goggles.

It was an old [01:54:00] man. If he was 65, that was generous. He's probably more like 70. He was in his own goat pen beside his house, digging and cleaning his goat pen. He was out at night 'cause it was hot in the daytime. He had a rifle 'cause he was scared. He meant all and he was observing the patrol. He couldn't see us 'cause he didn't have night vision goggles.

And we were far enough away. He just kept going like this. 'cause he could hear his dog bark every once in a while. Wow. Wow. They couldn't see us. But he had met the rules of engagement. I could have shot him with my rifle or I could, we could have snuck past and killed him with the AC one 30. What do you think I did?

Kyle: You didn't kill him?

Tray: No, he didn't die. And I wouldn't let the AC one 30 kill him because he wasn't doing anything wrong. He didn't know he had [01:55:00] staggered into the rules of engagement. And I'm not gonna have somebody's con, not that the people in the airplane are that much different, but it looks like a video game from an airplane when you're on the ground and you are seeing the consequences of your actions and pieces of people and things turned inside out.

You can't unsee that stuff. I was not gonna kill that guy or allow them to kill him, even though he was inside the rules of engagement. Hmm.

Kyle: Reminds me of when you, uh, came over, uh, earlier this week. Within five minutes, my 4-year-old, uh, Peter came up to you and said, Trey, why'd you kill people?

Tray: He did.

Peter called me out his first question, Trey, why'd you kill people? I'm like, thank you. Well, first

Kyle: he called me out and told you that I was still biting my nails.

Tray: He goes, and my daddy's still biting his nails and he's eating candy. And I go, oh, he is. Peter, you and I'll have a call once a week now, [01:56:00] see what Daddy's been doing.

Kyle: But, uh, that segues into the question, how can you justify killing people, um mm-hmm. With the, it says with the gospel. But I think the question terms of like, how did you, how do you think back on, on having taken life and being a Christian

Tray: uhhuh? So in Romans it talks about the government, bears the sword.

There's a difference between killing and murder. Uh, David, one of the, uh, most godly men of all time was a warrior. He killed Goliath. He killed, you know, hundreds if not thousands of people. But God never reprimanded him once. Why? Because he didn't do it necessarily of his own accord. He was, he was fulfilling a mission.

And like I told Peter, I like Peter, I made a decision to be a warrior. God made me a warrior. God put me there in defense or doing what my government had me to do. And I said at that point, that [01:57:00] man has a rifle and I have a rifle. Somebody's not coming home. The decision, it wasn't like I snuck up and I was shooting an old man digging in his goat hu in his goat pen.

Mm-hmm. This guy is 25 years old, 30 years old. He has an AK 47. He has a demonic fear in his eyes and he wants to kill me. Yeah. It's the. It was a done deal when both of us decided to strap on when I decided to strap on my armor and my colors that night and he decided to strap on his,

Kyle: yeah. Can you share your conversation with the JTF two guy?

Tray: Mm-hmm.

Kyle: Um, about, oh, wonderful.

Tray: Uh, I won't call him by name, but, uh, your JTF two guys are like our Delta force guys. They're studs, they are studs. Um, and I was talking to one of 'em and I befriended him in the business world and we were talking and he goes, [01:58:00] tell me something. He goes, you're always good for my soul.

Tell me something. And I said, and I called him by name and I said, Hey, were all your kills righteous, meaning were they all within the rules of engagement? And he's like, he looked at me for a long time and he was trying to figure out if I was doing some kind of investigation on him or, or what. And I said, he goes, yes, they were.

How about you, Trey? Were all your kills righteous? And I said, yes, they were. I said, I as a young man, one of 'em was close. It was still within the rules engagement. I said, but it was close. And I said, as an older man, I let many people walk who I could have legally killed within the rules of engagement. And he goes, okay.

Do you want a medal or something for that? I'm like, no, I don't want medal for that. And he goes, what's your question? Why are you [01:59:00] bugging me? And I said, because if all your kills within the rules engagement, all my kills within the rules engagement, why is it still hurt? And this cat's big. This cat's mean, and this cat's strong.

And a big, huge crocodile tear. About as big as my pinky rolled down his face, crossed his lip and dripped off his chin and hit the ground. And he goes, I don't know. Why don't you tell me why it hurts? And I said, the problem is, brother, we're all made in the image of God. And when you destroy something that's made in the image of God, it just doesn't sit well with you.

And I said, and you never can unsee it. And I wish this world didn't have sin. And I wish this world didn't have people who wanted to kill each other. And I wish you didn't have to kill all the people you had to kill. [02:00:00] And I wish I never had to kill anybody either. I said, but it, you can wish in one hand, but reality is actually in the other.

And he got this big grin across his face, grabbed me, hugged me, picked me up off the ground. He's about Kyle's height and about 25 pounds heavier than Kyle and. About this wide and about that thick. Picks me up, gives me a hug, puts me down and goes, you're good for my soul. Thank you. Last time I've ever seen him.

Kyle: Thanks Sharon. How do you maintain a high level of excellency in all areas of your life after achieving a lot in life? What keeps you advancing forward?

Tray: Thanks for that question. Ever said that, um,

there's a, um, American football player named JJ Watts. JJ Watts is a, a big, huge, [02:01:00] um, defensive player, one of the best probably of his position period. And he has this saying, he says that success is never earned. It's only rented and rent comes due every morning. So I have the type of personality that is ready to go every morning again.

And, and I, I think the good Lord in heaven. Above that, I have that personality, but I've also honed it over years of denying myself and suffering. And so, and the way I eat and the supplements I take it. It aids in, in being able to do things like that. But it's, it's just a, a personal drive. The problem with aging is it's real easy to go, my neck hurts, my knee [02:02:00] hurts, my back hurts, my elbow hurts.

I'm just gonna sit in this chair and watch television for the next 20 years and die. Nobody, nobody had think any of the less of me. They're like, he got beaten up. He's hurt. He can, he can sit and watch television for 20 years, but the only easy day was yesterday. It's yesterday's gone. There's, there's work to be done today.

There's work for the gospel we've done. There's lots of people that don't know about Christ. There's, there's people to be ministered to. There's people to be coached. There's people to be encouraged. You don't know what a kind word to somebody. That might be the only nice thing anybody said to 'em that day that might, they might have been going to kill themselves.

And you said, hello. How? How's your day going? Oh, not so good. Oh, sorry to hear that. What's going on? You know, and you actually had some humanity for 'em for a few moments. You know, vice just going, I'm good. And just walking past them. Yeah. So that, I don't know, I [02:03:00] don't know if that answered the question, but,

Kyle: um, okay.

Uh, let's see here. Can I get a handshake after? Yes. After we're done here.

Tray: Handshake.

Kyle: Yeah. Trail trail will be at the bottom here. And, uh, love to. You look, get a picture with him as well. Left. Um, if you post a picture to your social media and tag the, the show, uh, you'll get a second entry into winning a, a free coaching call with Trey.

And there's feed, there'll be a feedback, um, thing on the screen as well. So, okay. Next question. Uh, what is your advice to someone who's currently trying to heal trauma? Mm-hmm. Trying to heal from trauma from their past, but it's causing a lot of highs and lows. How can they lead their family? I can, I can really attest to this myself.

Like when you start talking about these things, like it's, it's almost like easier when the lids still on Yes. And then the lid comes off and That's right. And you're just like, it's turmoil. Sure. Um, yeah. So

Tray: trauma pain [02:04:00] hides in the dark, so you have to get it out in the open. With trauma comes shame a lot of times.

There's nothing to be ashamed about. If something happened to you that was outta your control, there's nothing to be ashamed about. That's the devil lying to you saying You're not good enough.

Kyle: What if it was your fault?

Tray: Then come to Christ and confess it because you've got to get it out in the open. It has to become almost like a, there was one of my marines one time that had, he had lost a bunch of his marines in a fight they had.

He'd gotten wounded. A piece of shrapnel from a hand grenade in his leg. And some of his marines got killed and he never forgave himself. And I said, I grabbed him. His name was Rodney, he's dead now. Um, I said, Rodney, you don't control who stays and goes. You just have to do the [02:05:00] best you can. You have to get it turned into see story.

You have to find somebody that you trust that you can be real with and tell 'em, you know, if, if, if you were abused as a child, tell 'em you were abused as a child. If you were beaten as a child, tell 'em you were beaten. If somebody not,

Kyle: not vague either, like get no, share the story, you

Tray: have to share it. You, it has to, you have to get it out.

If it stays inside, it gives you ulcers, it gives you stress, it gives you nightmares, it gives you, you've gotta get it out. So, uh, if you have trauma, find people you trust and it's not easy always. And find somebody who you can tell, tell about and start working through it with somebody. Yeah.

Kyle: So the second part of that question was how do you, when you're going through that, how can you lead your family Well, during that time of, you know, opening up,

Tray: it's hard.

It's hard. I didn't, [02:06:00] there was a rough patch from about 2000 and. Seven to about 2010 to where I didn't lead as well as I could have because I was, I was coming off of having my shoulder broken. I was, um, I'd lost a bunch of buddies and it wasn't that I was questioning God, I was just, I wanted to know why, why?

You know, why, why, why? And it doesn't make any sense. And so what I tell people is that do the best you can. Do the best you can. If you failed today, get up in the morning. It's a new day. When I, when I've had my hardest days, I've been so thankful. I know some other people have been there too. If you can just make it to your bed that night, man, I just make it to your bed and just get in bed.

And [02:07:00] if you get four hours of sleep, great. If you can get eight even better, and then get up the next day and just don't quit. Just face it again. Be the best dad. Be the best mom you can. Hey, I screwed it up. I've screwed up a hundred thousand times. Own it and do the best you can the next day.

Kyle: Yeah. It's also, we try to control the future so much.

Tray: We can't

Kyle: want even just like what you're sharing there is, is, uh, the Bibles command. Don't be anxious for tomorrow.

Tray: That's right.

Kyle: Or tomorrow is zone worries. Just worry about today. Mm-hmm. Just take that one day at a time. Yes,

Tray: you have to.

Kyle: Yeah. And I also say not dealing with your trauma is gonna make you even a worse dad.

Tray: It will, you'll, you'll down will spiral and become, you'll become destructive over time if you don't get it out. Trauma, pain, hurt, hides in the dark with shame. Yeah.

Kyle: Okay. Next question. Uh, what are your thoughts on alcohol? Mm-hmm.

Tray: The Bible commands us not to be drunk. If somebody wants to [02:08:00] have a beer at home with their wife, they wanna have a glass of wine, it, it commands us not to be drunk.

The caveat to that is I would be careful as a Christian drinking out in town because you don't know who is a recovering alcoholic that may be trying to kick it and sees you drinking. It's like, oh, Trey and Kyle are out partying. Maybe I can party too. And so, I mean, that's, that's an extreme situation, but that's, that's my view on it.

Okay.

Kyle: And what about from a health perspective? 'cause

Tray: um, I will tell you that most of it's not real good for you, but there's some of it. Uh, wine has resveratrol and has a polyphenols in it. Wine's not. If you're going to do one wine's, probably the better way to go and not more than say a glass or so, because it'll disrupt your sleep.

You know, when you, when you drink, sometimes you feel [02:09:00] like you're sleeping really well, but you wake up and you're just exhausted because it doesn't allow you to go into deep, deep sleep. So you kind of get a lot of sleep, but, but it's shallow so you don't get restful sleep. Yeah.

Kyle: Okay. Next question. What's the line between promoting a healthy, healthy lifestyle and realizing that God at times commands us to slow down and eat the unhealthy things?

Ecclesiastes nine seven. You pulled this verse up.

Tray: Yes. I wanted to look at that one. Um,

Kyle: might have to get back to that one. Is this,

Tray: it said, um, ecclesias said, Ecclesiastes said, go thy way. Eat thy bread with joy and drink thy wine with Mary Hart. For God's now accepted thy works. Um, I believe once again, times, I don't wanna say times were different, but the, the bread they had was made with oil and ancient grain, and they cooked it and it was great for you.

The [02:10:00] wine they had was probably less than a couple of weeks, or three weeks or a month old. It was pretty new. It was fresh. Some of the stuff we have now is, it's sprayed with chemicals. You guys are a little better in Canada, down on down the states. They are food. You've gotta watch it. Uh, I have a, an app called Yuka, YUKA.

It has a little carrot and you can take pictures of the scan, the labels, and it'll tell you. Is it bad? Is it average? Is it good? Alright. And so it, it helps out if anybody wants that I could get with you after and show you what it looks like. How do you spell it again? Yucca, UKA. Okay. It's a little carrot.

Kyle: Okay. What are some practical tips to be content in where you are in life while still working to achieve more? The Bible says godliness with contentment is great gain. Mm-hmm. But we're also even here tonight talking about like improving and growing mm-hmm. And stuff like that. Mm-hmm. How can you be content and still, uh, work to achieve more?

Tray: I [02:11:00] that verse God's told him my right hand, he's gonna take me where I need to go. We can't, we don't have to worry about tomorrow. Tomorrow. Worry about self. We have to worry about today. People I talk to and try to help, I say, look, let's just do the next right thing. Do the do the next right thing you know to do because we can't plan you and I can plan that we're gonna go to Europe next year and spend three weeks.

I might not be alive next year to three weeks. So do the next right thing today and, and allow God plan like it's all on you. But know that God's still in control.

Kyle: Alright. Uh, is it possible to be a Christian but not actually have the peace of Christ that the Bible talks about in Philippians four, eight through nine?

Tray: I believe that if you don't embrace the truth of the Bible. You could be a believer [02:12:00] in Christ and not you can be believing lies. Someone lies about you. There's a great song by Megan Woods called The Truth. It says, the truth is, I'm my father's child. He basically made her perfect. And uh, she's a child of the king.

When he looks at me, he wouldn't change a thing. Positionally in Christ, you're perfect. But we still have to deal with our past mistakes, our past, or things we've done to our bodies, you know, things like that. So, I mean, you could have less than peace. I think I would, if I were that person, I probably would change the music I was listening to.

'cause music has a way of controlling the way you think. You know, you put on some hard music and you start getting a little, you know, start getting a little fired up. You put on some good, uh, gospel music. Like you maybe here at a church kind of calms you down. You put [02:13:00] on some worship music, then lifts your spirits.

I think music is a real key to, to the way we feel. Yeah.

Kyle: Reminds me, even, even just in my secular coaching training, um, that your beliefs drive all your behaviors. Yes,

Tray: that's right.

Kyle: Like full stop. Mm-hmm. And, and, uh, if you, you can believe the gospel and believe in Christ, but if you still believe you know that you're worthless mm-hmm.

Or you know, that was drummed into you as a kid or whatever and things like that. Like you need to, those beliefs need to be challenged and, and, and that takes, you know, having a mentor or coach or whatever else like that. Yes. And yeah. Okay. Um, what are your thoughts on the death penalty? Should Charlie Kirk, should the Charlie Kirk shooter face it?

Tray: So no matter what somebody says to you, it's not okay to kill him. You, whether you're far left or you're far right, words should not be [02:14:00] a death penalty, first of all. Second of all, I believe that God has put the people in position and authority. And if the death penalty is legal and the government's gonna execute it, lemme think this one through a little bit,

Kyle. I've done enough killing.

I don't know if kill's answer. I'm gonna leave it at that. I don't know if kill's answer I, I know that God can redeem even the worst of offenders and I'm just not sure if kill's answer because my brother called me, not, it's been a while, been a few years ago and he goes, Hey, I'm gonna need you to come up here.

So and so did [02:15:00] this. My brother lives about 60 miles from me and we need to go over there and beat him down. He and his couple brothers. And I'm like, Brett, you know I'm a Christian man. I'm not gonna go over and beat that guy down. And he's like, well, you're my brother. I need your help. And I said, and I said this exactly how I said it.

I said, if beating people would fix stuff, then our hometown would be a little slice of heaven. And he's like, you know, you got a point there. I guess maybe

Kyle: our hometown would be a little

Tray: slice. A little slice of heaven. If beating people would make things better or fix things, our hometown would be a little slice of heaven.

I said, I don't

Kyle: think because your hometown was pretty rough.

Tray: It's rough. It's rough, but so I'm just not sure if killing people's right answer. Fair

Kyle: enough. Um, Charlie Kirk shooting rattled a lot of people. It did, um, and had a big impact. And we see the world changing more and more and becoming more and more [02:16:00] hostile towards the truth.

Christianity, it just seems less and less stability. You know, it wouldn't, talking with someone today about population collapse, like, there's just like, there's so much uncertainty it seems like more than ever. Um, what would your advice be to people? Just as you know, we don't know the future. Mm-hmm. I mean, there's a lot of just the things we talk about tonight, but anything else beyond that?

Like also in light of the Charlie Kirk killing, just to be ready, you know, just to not have fear. Mm-hmm. I'm always amazed how the Bible, how many times the Bible says fear, not.

Tray: Fear not from I'm with it says the Lord God of hosts. God knows the future and either you have faith and you trust him or you don't.

You either believe the Bible or you don't. So it now that's, that's easy preaching in hard living because I'm not saying I, um, 'cause fear's natural. So if a grizzly bear runs, you know, comes running down the aisle, everybody's gonna be scared. [02:17:00] And that's a natural reaction. If a grizzly bear coming, running down the aisle and the usher runs him back out, you know, scares him out.

And we never want to come back to this church because we're afraid a grizzly bear's gonna come here. That's a ungodly fear. We're not trusting that God can protect us. So I think that's the difference between, uh, you know, being naturally scared. I've been scared plenty of times. You know, I, I thought I was gonna get killed many, many, many times and I was scared in the moment, but I wasn't scared to go back into combat because I knew God had, God had me in his hand.

And if I was supposed to go, then let's go. Yeah.

Kyle: Alright. If someone is struggling with their overall health mm-hmm. What are the first basic habits slash disciplines? Mm-hmm. They should nail down.

Tray: I'm glad somebody ask that. Do not look at your phone two hours before bedtime. [02:18:00] Our phones will control us. If you're going to look at your phone after about seven o'clock in the evening, you need to wear a set of blue blocker glasses because that blue light that comes off of it tells your body it's morning time, it's time to wake up.

So western world is chronically, um, chronically under, under rested. So sleeping from about nine to five is the best. Give or take, you know, little bit. Uh, people, some people need seven hours, some people need nine. Very few people. There are some of 'em that need less than that. Some people function perfectly on six and five, but that's the.

Kyle: For 20 years and then they feel it.

Tray: Uh, yes. I mean, there are some people's bodies are just made for like six hours. Um, but that's not many people. That's not the rule. That's exception. Um, but get, get to sleeping, because sleeping is when you [02:19:00] recover, uh, get to moving, do 7,000 steps a day. That will change if people would do 7,000 steps a day, that would change the overall mortality rate of folks.

Uh, get a good methylated multivitamin. There's a, a gene called an MFTR gene where you can't absorb B vitamins. Methylated vitamins are for, I'm not a chemist, but they're broken down in a capsule. Not a hard pill, like, like a, a syndrome or something would be, they're in capsules, they're easily digested.

And then get a good vitamin D three K two supplement because people are chronically deficient in D three K two. Run your D three K two up around, uh, your vitamin D levels up above about 60 nanometers per, per a thousand. And you'll, you'll feel way different. Way different. [02:20:00] And I'd be glad to talk to that person after this if they want to talk.

Sounds good.

Kyle: Hey, I started an, uh, architectural job two weeks ago, but I'm struggling with working there. What are your thoughts on working in a non-Christian environment? You've lots of experience with that.

Tray: Mm-hmm. Um, I think that we're called to be a light and a dark place. If you, if you think you need to work there, stand for truth, be the best employee they've ever seen.

And when they come up and ask you why, why are you such a good employee when we're kind of rough on you? Because, hey, I, I'm, I don't work for you. I work for God. I, I, this is my job, but I actually, I answer to a higher power than you. Hmm.

Kyle: Has there ever been a point in your life where you struggled with being a lukewarm Christian?

Mm-hmm. And if so, how did you work through that to where you are today?

Tray: Yes. There were a couple of points that I got really busy in the Marine [02:21:00] Corps and I, I got to be a touch lukewarm, but it came back to reading scriptures.

If there's a white dog and a black dog, which dog's gonna win? I don't know. The one you feed more inside of us, there's a white dog that wants to do right. And there's a black dog that wants to eat you. Whichever one you feed more is the one that's gonna win. They can. So you have to feed, you have to feed truth, you have to feed.

Music's huge. Um, because it, who can remember songs of of us folks are a little bit older from when you're in high school word for word. It may or may not be great music either. Music has a way, that's why teachers a lot [02:22:00] of times will teach kids their ABCs A, B, C, and a song because songs have a way of sticking with us.

So be careful what you're listening to be careful what you're reading.

Kyle: Yeah. What are some of your favorite songs, maybe favorite hymns?

Tray: Um, how great they are. Elvis Presley version. Um, not familiar, but um, come by Foun of Ever Blessing.

Kyle: What, why do you like those?

Tray: What's that?

Kyle: Why do you like those?

Tray: Um, they just speak to me for whatever reason.

I like those a lot, like a lot of the contemporary Christian music too. Just 'cause it's old doesn't mean it's better than, it's just, it's been around longer. Yeah. Those were new at one point too, the hymns. Yeah.

Kyle: What do you think, uh, of the state of the current of the Western church today and what do you think is sort of the problems with the, in the church in the West?

Tray: I think that we need to be careful thinking that just 'cause it's been easy, it's always [02:23:00] gonna be easy. I think a lot of easy believism is snuck in and people are to name it and claim it. It's, I mean, words do have power. I'm not saying that words don't have power, but the, there, you know, on the extreme side of it, somebody saying if you'll send in a hundred dollars, God's going to send you 10,000.

That's not Christianity, that's a Ponzi scheme. And you're not getting $10,000. Yeah. So it, I just think we have to be careful of looking at what true Christianity is and what some of these wolves and sheep clothing are splitting it off to become.

Kyle: And I guess not, not comparing yourself against the people in your own church, but comparing yourself to the, the scriptures.

Tray: Yes. Solo scripture, whatever the Bible says. That's what it's, the problem with [02:24:00] that is, is people's different interpretations and that's where we get into good, honest, you know, biblical discussions and stuff like that. Yeah, yeah.

Kyle: Alright, couple more here. Okay. Uh, how would you, uh, recommend putting towards some, some putting towards some type of brotherhood or men's group, either for fun or for fellowship,

Tray: how to put together a men's group?

Yeah. I would find two or three like-minded guys that had the same vision. Because if you try to get somebody, if I come up to you and Kyle, uh, I say, Kyle, I think we need to start this ministry. And you go. God hadn't put that on my heart. That means maybe you don't need to be part of that ministry. And then I go to Julius and say, Julius, I think we may need to start this kind of men ministry.

And he, you know, God's been talking to me about the same thing. So when God gets on themes, he will rise up the people around you to start those kind of ministries. Kinda like the [02:25:00] Herbo University stuff that I've done. Yeah. With the, the young men's ministry.

Kyle: Yeah. Alright. How would you discipline a daughter?

Tray: Say again?

Kyle: How would you discipline a daughter?

Tray: Very different than boys. They're very emotional. Uh, when they're young, I think you, you still need to swat their hands and swat their bottoms. But as they get older, I think you need to discipline them with different methods. Um, people give phones pretty early, take their phone away from 'em.

Um, make 'em, if they're, um, you know, a busy girl that likes to do a lot of things, make her sit down. Um, exercise is still a good, a good way to discipline a daughter and do it with them. Yeah.

Kyle: Okay. I'd like you to end with sharing the gospel and closing in prayer. Okay. Uh, I love doing, ending the podcast that way.

But before we do that, do you have any closing thoughts or, or things you'd want to say to the audience here tonight? Um, to [02:26:00] consider or think about?

Tray: I want, I'd like the audience to think about their legacy. What is your legacy now? What was the definition of legacy? Again?

Kyle: I'm not sure off the top of my head right now,

Tray: it is what folks are going to, what is your lasting impact?

And I think you ought to start thinking about your legacy, probably in your thirties. You know, what do you want? Because when you're thirties, you have a lot of, you still have a lot of drive and, and it tends, not always, but it can wane as we get a little older. And I think you need to think about how you wanna be remembered, because on your tombstone, there's gonna be your name, there's gonna be a day that you were born and a day that you died, there's gonna be a dash in between them.

Your entire life is summed up by that dash. You better [02:27:00] spend your time on things that are important because there's not very much of it. 20, 20 five's almost over. I remember 1995 pretty well, and that's a long time ago. So time's going fast and it, and it appears that it's speeding up. I don't know anybody that's anybody else, but it seems like for some reason time is going faster.

I don't know if it's because of our devices. I don't know. It's because we're more aware, we're busier. But it seems like this year just started and it's two uh. Yeah, probably three quarters over at this point. So I'd say don't waste any time. 'cause we don't have any time to waste. Think about your legacy.

Invest in people, love God. Love people. And that's, uh, that's the advice I'd give. Be authentic. Don't, don't be real. Be real. Don't, don't have a, a duplicitous nature to where [02:28:00] you're one way, one place. You're, you're one way at work, you're another way at home. You're another way at church. You're another way with your buddies.

You're another way. When you're in Europe, you're another way when you're, you can't be that way. Just be who you are and, uh, be willing to stand up for truth because you wanna be counterculture these days. Stand up for the truth and you'll be counterculture. You don't have to, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it, but you don't have to get all tattooed and, and pierced and painted and wear crazy clothes.

You wanna be counterculture. Just stand up for the truth and, and you'll get all the, you'll get all the engagement you want.

Kyle: Yeah. Awesome. Thanks a lot. Really appreciate you taking the time again tonight. I'm sure I know the audience appreciate it as well. So, um, if you could, uh, after sharing the gospel and prayer, we'll be done here.

Um, but you can meet Trey up here, here in the front. I'll be hanging around as well. Um, really appreciate all of you guys for coming out. Super cool to do this. Didn't know what to expect going into it, but, uh, I think it went pretty well. So, um, thank you [02:29:00] all. Really appreciate that.

Tray: So the gospel is not an afterthought, first of all.

God, it wasn't, Jesus wasn't a backup plan. He, God didn't go, oh, this is getting messed up. I need a backup plan. He was the lamb that was slain before the foundation of the earth. He knew before he put Adam and Eve in a garden he was gonna need, he was gonna need to provide, like we talked about Isaac and Abraham to provide himself a lamb.

And so he knew that as he gave us the law in the Old Testament, we'd, we'd never be able to keep it. And it was a school master to drive us towards Jesus, knowing that we needed a savior. And the Old Testament, they were looking forward to a savior. Now, 2000 years, looking back, we're looking back at Jesus as the Savior.

He's a savior of the world. [02:30:00] And in a world of working for your worth, he comes counterculture today and says, come into me. Oh, you're heavy laden and I will give you rest. And that's what everybody's seeking these days. It's in this world that's buzzing all the time and you can't sleep and the texts are going off.

He said, come to me, I'll give you rest. 'cause God so loved the world. He gave his only be beyond son, but whosoever should believe him, should not perish, but have eternal life. We're all sinners. We can't get there on our own. It's a free gift according to Ephesians chapter two. And when the Holy Spirit pulls on your heart, bow that knee.

And the way I said was, God, I don't know what you want me to do, but I'm sick of doing it my way, and I'll do whatever you want from this day forward. Just save me. And it was that September 11th, [02:31:00] 2004. I guess that's going on 21 years. And I only have one regret I doing that earlier that I didn't do it earlier, that I wasted too many years.

That's all I got, brother. Thanks. You closing prayer? Yes, please bow our heads. Uh, gracious Heavenly fire. Thanks again for bringing everybody out tonight. Um, please forgive me how I failed you along the way. Lord, I I'm just a man. I'm imperfect and, and I wanna thank you for the people coming out tonight. I wanna thank you for Kyle having the vision to put this thing together and putting so much work into it, uh, for being a bulldog.

Lord, I wanna thank you for your mercy and grace you've showed me over and over and over again. And I wanna thank you that you love me so much that you died for me. And if I was the only person that ever lived, you'd still had to die just for me. Lord, I want you to, um, reach into the lives of the folks that are here and let 'em take away a [02:32:00] couple of things that would make 'em a little bolder for you.

Um, things that. Might be eaten on them right now, Lord, that they just let it go. And realize that you paid for that too. If there's somebody out there that doesn't know you, God, today's the day of salvation. I pray that, uh, holy Spirit would come in, the conviction would come upon 'em. Lord, um, I love you.

Thank you for everything you've done for me. I don't deserve it. In Jesus' name. Amen.

Kyle: Amen. Guys, let's give uh, Trey a hand of appreciation.

Thanks for coming.

Tray: That went fast, bro. That was good. It was two and a half hours. I appreciate [02:33:00] it.

‍

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