May 7, 2025

Brutal Honesty, Imposter Syndrome, & Successful Realtors - The Briefcase and the Barn - Ep 42

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Kyle: [00:00:00] Welcome back to another episode of The Briefcase of the Barn with me and Gary, an epi, uh, series of the Furious, the Curious Show where we talk about business, life, Christianity, and more. Episode 42. Or 41, I'm not sure. One of those two. So, oh no, we

Gary: keep doing off recordings on weird days, just so we, Kyle doesn't drop the, uh, bonus episode.

So that's why I'm doing it. Anyways,

Kyle: the bonus episode is where we answer how, uh, uh, I talk about sex and Gary's just like, we're just gonna push that off. Um, especially his answers, which are very funny. How did you enjoy, um, freedom Sessions grad last night? Oh, it's exhausting. It is tiring, isn't it? Oh, hearing that much personal stuff.

It's just like, so if you don't know what Freedom Sessions is, it's a discipleship journey program. 28 weeks helps you get freedom. Um, and, uh, the last evening is you, and then it sake has an opportunity to share what, uh, what has changed for them, what, what has done for them. [00:01:00] And so, uh, there was what, probably 20, 30 people sharing last night.

Gary: Yeah. Yeah. It was 20, basically 22 and 23 each time. We had a grad last week too. It felt like the grad this week was. More. I felt like people were a little more comfortable sharing. Yeah.

Kyle: Um, there's ever some pretty heavy stories. Oh yeah. So I shared as well.

Gary: Yeah, you did great. I had one guy come up afterwards.

Modern community. If I would've known ahead of time, I would've never have

Kyle: never

Gary: signed up for this way. He wouldn't have signed up. Wouldn't even have went. Right. That's why I really struggled with talking too much about it, actually about what's involved. 'cause it's one of those journeys where each step builds on each other and people just need to do the, it's no different than anything else.

If you had to walk, walk before you run. Right. So.

Kyle: I also believe more than never something that you've been saying for a while, which is weird, you know, like why would a policeman says for a while, but if you wanna do it, it took a while. If you wanna do it, you'll do it. And the people that don't want to do it, they don't wanna do it.

And you can't make a horse drink. Like you just can't force people like uh uh. No, you have to be like, Hey, enough's [00:02:00] enough. And I wanna, my cousin,

Gary: my cousin Johnny has a saying, um, which is probably the saying, I've, I've, I come to the most in life in all areas, not just in Freedom Session. But you cannot help those that can't help themselves.

Now. That's, is that why he

Kyle: doesn't take Freedom session?

Gary: That's why he doesn't help anybody. 'cause they can't help themselves. No, he, I mean, he helps lots of people, but there's, if, if somebody is incapable of seeing anything themselves and you think it's very clear to you the answers, like, if somebody is in a business and their business is floundering.

And to you, it's like, Hey, if you just did this different and that different, and you think, oh, I'm gonna go help them, you know, give 'em some knowledge, help them, typically the people, as a general rule, and it probably doesn't apply for everybody, but if someone can't see any of it themselves, it won't help if, if you get involved.

Kyle: Oh, that way. Yeah,

Gary: yeah, yeah. So I've had people lately that I've been kind walking alongside, and what happens is I come in, I give 'em like, you know, I'll lay out a bit of a plan and they'll take 30% of my plan. Right. Probably the easiest 30% do it and then wonder why it's not working well, it's 'cause like you didn't, you just did what kind of worked for you in that moment.

It's like, no, you have to execute on all of it. Right? Yeah. [00:03:00] And, uh, it's very interesting how, especially in business I find, it's like, hey, people have, you know, obviously we're all struggling in some sense or there's things we can do better, but it was just fascinating how Yeah, you gotta do the hard stuff, right?

And that's why I think coaching

Kyle: is so powerful because you're not coming in doing that. You're coming in saying like, what do you actually want? Like, whereas what you're doing, and eventually they

Gary: should realize it themselves, what they need to change.

Kyle: That's right. Yeah.

Gary: And that's similar to Freedom Session, right?

That's right. Yeah. Like eventually you get to that spot where you're, you know, doing your authentic life plan. In the back of the course there's a third book. Yeah. And it's very much like daily stuff. Yep. And there's a lot

Kyle: of coaching is actually accountability type coaching where you're just like, Hey, you babysitting?

Yeah. Or you acknowledge a bunch of problems and then you, the coach ask asks the next week, so have you done these things? And the guy says, yeah, I did them or didn't do it, whatever. Um, but then as soon as the coach is gone, well then you go back to all your own crap again. Or like your old habits, well then there's no change there, right?

You're just like, and so, um, that you have to, it has to come from yourself. Like we're the driver of it. So

Gary: do you have a busy week? Um, feels like you had a [00:04:00] crazy week. 'cause Tuesday we were gonna record and you pushed off.

Kyle: Yeah, I was really most struggling this week was, um, fi reading all those papers of.

That I came from when I was in the psych ward as a little kid. Did you read 'em all? Yeah. Okay. That was really hard to read. Okay. And that definitely like, um, rattled me pretty hard. I never read 'em before. And just like seeing what was said about me and, and, and what the doctors were saying and, and what was being said to my parents and.

And yeah. All, all of that. And then I, 'cause I also had been knew three or four days later, I had to talk on Thursday night talk on Thursday night and give my Freedom Session grad, which this year I just did a lot of forgiveness work on myself and, and others and just hurts and pains. And so it was just like, um, yeah, I was, I was just, I was all over the place.

Uh, I just, I couldn't, uh, I, I was, I was struggling pretty hard. Um, but then on. On, uh, Wednesday night I wrote it all out finally. And the process of writing out the testimony, that's really, it was healthy too. That that's, [00:05:00] that's when all of a sudden I felt way better. I just, like, I had four hours of sleep yesterday and, and, uh, I was, I was fine 'cause I was just like, I was, I felt so much peace and, and so, yeah,

Gary: I was surprised.

Most people write it out.

Kyle: If I don't write it up, man, I'm gonna say something I do not wanna say. Okay. Okay. And I, and I've, I've known myself enough that I'm like, okay, I want to be

Gary: pretty intentional of about what comes outta your mouth. Yeah. I thought it was really cool. I thought people were, uh, yeah, just really vulnerable.

Right. And, um, for me, because this year I didn't leave small group, I've said that to you before. I felt very disconnected from the journey to some degree. And then it, it's kinda like brings it right home when you hear people and hear their stuff. And there's quite a few people that, um. Spoke pretty critically to me about the journey early on and we're, you know, 'cause I'm a big tire pumper, right?

And they're like, they're, they're complaining and saying that they hate it, which I mean, it makes sense. So then to hear those people go up there and speak pretty positively about it and encourage others to walk the hard road is pretty cool. So I'll be curious to see how next year looks we'll get going again in September for those that, uh, had somebody reach out to me yesterday morning.

60-year-old [00:06:00] guy, um, has gone to church ever until like a year or two ago. He started going to church. Um. Salvation Army Church and somebody put him in touch with me and he called me in the morning and then he came to the grad at night and

Kyle: yeah, yeah, he's coming next year. So talk to a friend afterwards last night.

And I think the biggest thing I think is cool is that, you know, the, the testimonies are cool, but a couple days later, a couple weeks later, you forget about him. You know, the ones that you hear and, and, uh, you kind of forget it even about how hard freedom session is if you're have done it being a participant, but the actual freedom that people walk in.

Is, that's life changing, right? Like, you know, one person was sharing last night how much happier they are as a mom, you know? And how much lighter? A lighter version. A lighter version. That was a

Gary: great, that was for pretty cool. Yeah. Like that was pretty cool.

Kyle: Imagine like you're a, a husband or a dad or a mom or a boss or an employee and you're just way lighter and the people around you just

Gary: appreciate that.

Appreciate that. That is a gift to everybody. Yeah. Yeah. Like, and it's funny, we all wanna be that. Nobody wants to be a [00:07:00] nagging or critical person, or like, nobody's like, oh, sign me up to be that. But we just are, 'cause we're human beings and we have a lot of crap that we gotta deal with. Right. So, yeah, no, it's pretty special.

Kyle: it, it's that kind of stuff where I think about like, wow, this, this is now gonna trickle down to like your, your kids, your grandkids, like to all these people around you. Right. And, and it's, it's awesome. So, yeah.

Gary: I spoke at the, uh, I think I put it in the show notes, but I put, I spoke at, uh, my old school there on, uh, earlier this week a teacher invited me to speak at the entrepreneurialship class.

Okay. And, um, I mean, it's funny. I said to Marie like, these, these kids do not care what I say. Right? Yeah. Then in hindsight, I just, today I was thinking about it again. I'm like, when I was that age, like I would've been throwing stuff at me, the person speaking or really rude or, yeah. So anyways, they were very respectful, but I was just like, man, am I that boring?

Kyle: you, you only one, one guy to take something, right?

Gary: Yeah. I just kind of told my story about starting hay sales and all that stuff. Yeah. Cool. Just kind of the farming journey and. Giving. I mean, there again, what was the class of how old [00:08:00] entrepreneurship class? Grade 12. How many kids? Eight kids. Oh, okay.

Yeah, all guys too, which I thought was interesting. I've spoke before they, I think it's probably the third or fourth time I've spoke there. And the other thing I thought I should do, and there again, it's not my skillset, but I can get Tim or somebody else that has a skillset to help me. I should just create like a PowerPoint, right?

I'm just talking. Oh yeah. And I think, you know, especially today, right? These kids are used to watching seven second reels or whatever videos in Snapchat. Yeah. Listen, listen to some 40-year-old boring man go monotone for 45 minutes preaching, right? So. If I just had a nice little slide with some of the my journey and stuff and kind of told the story with pictures, that would probably help.

Right? So yeah.

Kyle: Good time to make it.

Gary: Yeah,

Kyle: I started a class this morning, uh, called, uh, faith Driven Entrepreneurs.

Gary: Okay.

Kyle: It's a eight week course. Um, and, uh, anybody can sign up. Um, and they did have courses that run eight weeks. It's, it's free, um, um, anytime and there's a leader. And so I had people, there was people from, uh, the uk uh, Africa.

Uh, a couple guys in the States all different. Everybody's doing something different. About eight, about eight people, um, in, in the group. And, uh, it goes for eight weeks. And they just talk about [00:09:00] integrating your faith into your business and, uh, how often it's so separated or it gets really cliquey, just like you put a Bible verse in the wall and now you're a Christian company or you, you're forced people.

And, and so I'm curious what it's gonna be about. I guess I know my accountant, uh, Josh, we, um, recommended it to me. Okay. I know Josh and, um, awesome. Cool. And, uh. Um, so yeah, it'll be interesting to see what it takes, but I think it's something that a lot of, especially business owners, um, that our Christians struggle with is like, well, I struggle with it.

Totally,

Gary: totally. How far do you go? Are you supposed to be? Yeah. How blunt do you be? How do you even, like you say like, how,

Kyle: I don't know. My take on it is, is the fruits of the spirit of love, joy, peace. Peace and gentleness and thankfulness and self-control. It's like if we're really living those out as a business owner and whatever you're doing.

You will have opportunities to talk. 'cause people will listen to you. We, we, we, we listen to those people the most. Right? The people that are like, even if they're, you know, if, if it's [00:10:00] uh, you know, some of my Muslim friends or whatever else like that, if they're kind and respectful and stuff like that, like, I'm gonna listen, right?

I'm gonna, I'm gonna hear what, what they have to say and, and, and, uh, so yeah. I also went out for lunch this week with, um, the guy that called me out publicly. Oh, how'd that go? It was awesome. Okay. Beautiful redeeming. Okay. That's awesome. Really good. Really good lunch. Okay. Um, and, uh, yeah, just there was some miscommunication, I think and, and, and things like that and, and not fully understood, but we just, yeah.

Listened and, and, uh, he's a, he's a great guy and. Um, did you make amends or you didn't need to, you didn't do anything wrong? Uh, there was, I didn't, I didn't make any amends. No, I didn't. I didn't, I didn't feel like I didn't, I, I'm a

Gary: Canadian, right? I say, sorry, just to cover all the bases, right? Sorry, I got caught, but I make me question everything.

Well, think about it, right? Yeah. Anyways, you always run under the guise of just, Hey, I'm being honest, and honesty is brutally important and you're not wrong. It's just that. I was [00:11:00] gonna say when you're an a-hole and honest, but like when you're, when you're

Kyle: I try very hard not to be an asshole and honest.

No, I know.

Gary: I'm just saying it's like. Like brutally honest is still brutal, right? Yeah. You got like, yeah,

Kyle: but I, I don't, I don't create the brutal, though. The honesty is the brutal part. No, that's not necessarily true. Give me an example of where I don off, not once you have an example. I'll, I'll, we'll come back here back and we'll discuss this where I've been honest in a way that's brutal and

Gary: I think even it's back to like last week when I shared, it's like the idea of even what we share when we're talking about specific people, it's like, Hey, are we gossiping?

Like I was convicted about it again this week. I had a experience. I think that's a different subject

Kyle: you're talking about now though.

Gary: Well, I'm just saying in general, there's this line of. No, even just in general, it's like the minute, there's so many areas where we probably just need to say less. Yes.

Right. Or at least for me, obviously slow. There's some people slow speak, slow to speak, listen, slow to speak, but, and there's obviously people that are on the other end. I'm always even scared to say that. 'cause there's people that just say nothing and are scared and never speak truth. Exactly. Those people need to just speak up, speak, speak up more.

But like in my case, in your case, we needed to speak class, which is why we have a podcast [00:12:00] and so it's so stupid. Anyways, um. So I just feel like, hey, there's always that balance. I had, I think I shared this maybe last week already, but yeah, somebody said to me, just even our tone on here, they were really, you could tell that they were hurt by things I've said.

Right.

Kyle: Okay. But I've, I've also got a lot of messages saying, um, way more messages, negative messages, which is. I dunno if that's common or not, but saying like, Hey, I appreciate how respectful you guys are still, um, and how you don't go around bashing other churches and, and, and things like that. Um, like that, that's why I don't name names.

Gary: Churches. Yeah. Way, way more. I need to be that way. And I just think even now it's, um, I find even if I'm not naming a name or talking about an institution, because it's such small world, people kinda know what you're talking about. It's like, hey, you should be so careful that it's layer again, not to avoid speaking.

Candidly, but,

Kyle: uh, Martin Luther, Martin Luther said, um, it was Martin Luther. Maybe it was John Bunion. I can't remember. Now. I get, um, never sacrifice truth on the altar of peace. [00:13:00] Um, and I think that's our temptation right's piece. 'cause we want to be accepted, we wanna be liked, we want it like, yeah.

Gary: No, that would be my ben.

So that's fair. The other thought was, um,

Kyle: I think it's funny you have no examples of me being truthful that were Well

Gary: and am I gonna say it now and like, regurgitate and hurt someone again? No, I'm gonna talk to you about privately. Um, like, oh, this is the time. Make it really awkward. Um, I don't mind awkward.

No you don't. That's the problem. I had something I thought was really, wait, great to say, but I forgot it. So anyways, we can carry on from that to tirade. Okay. Um, oh no, I do remember now back to why I asked if you had made amends. Um, my wife always says this to me, 'cause I've many, many times in our marriage, all like my defense will always be, oh, I didn't mean to hurt you.

Right? You'd go out, we're like. At a party. I'm totally making fun of her. Total loser. Um, and everybody's laughing except her, she's hurt. And I'm like, oh, you know, like, oh, I didn't mean to hurt you. I was just joking around all. Like, if someone's hurt, they're hurt. And even if our intention is perfectly pure, and I think that's where we're [00:14:00] so defensive and so quick to defend ourself, I really, and who cares?

Like just, hey, I am sorry or hurt, and. I don't want to hurt you. I love you. I care for you. Like why would I, I'm sorry I did that. And uh, I really, and the minute I say that wasn't my intent, I'm basically trying to minimize the pain. Right. And that's bs.

Kyle: Yeah. Or make an excuse or whatever. Make an excuse.

I'm a big excuse maker, but, but also Dave Curry really taught me this in counseling. 'cause me and Nicole went through it, like all the stuff that I had done. And, and he, and, uh, I was saying, my intention wasn't to hurt you, uh, came to Nicole, whatever. And, and, um, and he would say, Kyle, your, your intentions don't matter.

Your actions do. Yeah, way more like, it's like it's your actions like that that has the result. If I run over someone with a car and I didn't mean to, they still just gotta run over by a car. Yeah. Bingo. So back to a business thing, one thing I was thinking about this week is what is, I'll ask you this question first.

So what's one of the first things you should do if you want to start a business? Any business?

Gary: Uh, probably [00:15:00] run it by a few people and ask 'em if people, if it's a good idea. Yeah. Like if you just have the idea. So that was one of the advice I gave in the entrepreneurship class to have like two or three people, um, guys or women that you just really respect.

I always say people that have what you want, whatever that may be, um, whether it be a family or a, you know, good faith life or good business, just say Hey, and then pick those people and just periodically meet them. And most people that are. Relatively successful are happy to share the what they know. And the interesting part is often they won't be people that think they know that much because they've just done the right things and they're just doing it.

And that's 'cause they're relatively healthy. They just make wise choices. Right. So, um, so I just kind of encourage them to have that. I think you can avoid a lot of the pain and suffering with a bit of asking questions. Right. And so That's right. That would be the first thing. Was there, did you have a different answer or?

Kyle: Yeah, I mean, I think that's a great answer. I dunno if there's like a one size fits all, but I would, I was thinking more on that terms of often when someone wants to start a business, they feel like they have to go make a logo and get their business registered, and you do all kinds [00:16:00] of stuff like that.

And business is simply the exchange of like, goods for servicers or value a value of money, right? And people gonna decide, Hey, am I willing to pay that much money for what you say the value is, um, that you're, you're offering. And so I would say start with making money. Like start by actually doing that exchange.

Now you actually have a business. Now go, you know, now you'll have some money to go pay someone to, you know, set up your business the right way in, in the legal way with like a, a good quality logo and pay someone whatever. But often we go and, um, spend money first to do all the, the proper things before we, without even having Right.

A business, having a dime in the bank account. Just like, no, like, actually go figure out like what value you're gonna go offer, um, what you're gonna go do. So. Um, you put a real estate, uh, market update on the, on the show notes. Um, I got some feedback on this week, feedback about your real estate updates this week that, um, the world is bigger than the Fraser rally.

So, I mean, I

Gary: talk about the market. I know I used to [00:17:00] own farmland in Saskatchewan. I sold that about two years ago. I owned a farm in Manitoba. I sold that. Um, I follow, uh, real estate podcast from Ontario. So anything I would know would be regurgitated from that I listen to, I mean, I wouldn't suggest him 'cause he's, uh, curses Ron Butler.

Um, but he is. He's got some great guests on like brokers and just people that are super boots on the ground. I wouldn't

Kyle: suggest him, but here's his name and here's his name.

Gary: In his podcast, I've actually been meaning to send him a message and I will, you can hold me to this next week. I will send him a message 'cause I would totally share his content if he didn't use the Lauren's name.

Me. Interesting. On that note, when I was nine, it drives me crazy when I was nine

Kyle: years old. I would listen to Dr. Laura all the time.

Gary: Oh dear.

Kyle: Like I was, I didn't realize how big of a nerd it was. I'm figuring all this stuff out. Like the psychologists, like I was following the law. You're just

Gary: realizing now you're a nerd.

Kyle: Yeah. Get you a mirror. Thanks. Um, anyways, so, but Dr. Laura would say, um, uh, OMGA lot and use Lord's name in vain. And, uh, so I wrote her [00:18:00] an email. Okay. Um, asking if she could stop so I could keep listening to her show. Okay. At like nine years old at night, I guess no one might photocopy that.

Gary: I just think somebody like this guy Ron, who's like a crass man who's, you know, f-bombs and whatever, it's like Yeah, like I, I don't, he's free to do whatever he wants and he'll have to be able be accountable for it.

I just think when you're in a business like his, where. You know, he's an attention seeking who, and he like, you know, he's very well known. Like he probably has like tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands of people followers on Twitter and, and does, it runs a YouTube channel. Like if you want people to share your content, like why?

Like why would you be proud that you're offensive? Why would you not want to just have. You know, or at least have a clean section where people can like, listen to it and not feel like they're being accosted by Yeah, by his verbal diarrhea. Right. But anyways,

Kyle: yeah. You know Gary Vaynerchuk is

Gary: Yes.

Kyle: Yeah. Same thing, just

Gary: great content probably, but just really crass.

Kyle: Yeah, very crass. Yeah. He, they ask him about it as well, like, we, like parents, go up to him, I want my kids to listen this and that, and he's like, Hey, I swear in front of my kids too. This is just who I am. Like, just get over it. Take it or leave it. Take it or leave it. And he just, [00:19:00] I don't care

Gary: in different language.

Kyle: Okay, we are, uh, going back to gentle and lowly after taking, uh, a week off, um, or two or two depending on the other one comes out. Uh, it's the book, um, called The Heart of Christ for Sinners and Sufferers, and we're going through one chapter week. Right now we're in chapter 12, which is titled A Tender Friend.

Um, and I quote Matthew 11, verse 19, which is on the top of the chapter, a friend of tax collectors and sinners

Gary: halfway through the book. This book is a half a year worth of podcast, by the way. I just put that together in my brain. Yeah. Well,

Kyle: I'll have to think through it now. Next time we decide. Pick

Gary: 24, 23 chapters.

I actually talked

Kyle: to Marie last night Okay. About reading through that book, and she's just like,

Gary: oh, even in public. Oh yeah. She's just like, probably she's consistent.

Kyle: Uh, would you, um, have been taught that Jesus is your friend growing up? No. Would you think, do you think of him now as your friend?

Gary: Yes. [00:20:00] Yeah.

Yeah. I think the reason was, 'cause I think I was taught that, um, obviously Jesus is, is, is a friend to those that are, are trusting in him. And, um, the bulk of what I heard growing up was not. It was not speaking to those that were Christians. Right. It was assuming that most people were not, or at least that's my perception.

And, and to be fair, that may have been, it probably was true. It was for sure true when I was in my Bible class in middle school, let's say. Right. I would, there, I'm assuming a lot, but based on, you know, my experience. But,

Kyle: um, I think it's interesting this chapter starts out talking about the how in in present day modern world, there's very little.

Uh, a huge lack of male friends and, and male friendships and, and being completely open with each other. Um, and how that makes it hard for us to even imagine that Christ could be our friend. Um, 'cause we have that lack of example, just like, you know, our example of God the father is our own dads and things like that.

And I thought that was interesting. Um, and then also how, uh, [00:21:00] um, that it's, um. He, Jesus got accused, um, by people of being a, a friend of tax collectors and sinners, um, that is a friend of the most despicable kinds of sinners known in that culture. But it wasn't his disciples that called them that. It was his antagonists that called them that, who most clearly perceive who he is.

Um, uh, and the, the crowd, the crowds, um, called him a friend of sinners as an indictment. Um, and I thought that was interesting as well, how it wasn't like they could see. In his actions that he was a friend to the outcasts of the society of the worst people. Um, and I think that's, uh, good to meta metadata on and, and think about as, um, we often find, I often find myself in that spot and like, man, like, um.

And, and seeing that that's, that's who Christ's heart goes out to. And, and who he got accused to be a friend, a friend of sinners.

Gary: I think the reason that we know that most of us don't feel this way is that often people, when they do the wrong things or they really [00:22:00] screw up, they don't run to God. They try to hide from him.

Right? I mean, Adam and Eve did that in the beginning and I think we still do that today, right? Where. When we have horrible thoughts or we do the wrong thing or really, really screw up, we're like, we don't cry out to God and ask him to forgive us. Necessity right away. We just try to run, or at least I do.

Yeah, maybe I'm,

Kyle: I dunno if that's, I mean, one of, one of the quotes here says one most. Well, most of us admit that even with our best friends, we don't feel fully comfortable divulging everything about our lives. We like them and even love them and go on vacation with them and sing their praises to others, but we don't really at the deepest heart level and trust ourselves to them.

Even in many of our marriages we have or our friends of sort, but we haven't gotten naked in. A soul the way we have in the body. Mm-hmm. So

Gary: I had that underline too, and I put Freedom session step five 'cause that's what Freedom Session. Step five is, is the fifth step in, in the 12 steps is to kind of share everything about ourselves.

Yeah. And um, I. And I think that's what's fascinating when you go to a grad and somebody will share, I shared every last part of me and [00:23:00] the person still cared for me and just how special that is. Right? And like you say, we often might not even have that with our spouse. How sad is that? Right? Where it's like, here, here's the person that you're literally naked with.

And it's like, oh no, but they don't actually fully know you. Right. So, yeah, and I

Kyle: think the biggest reason for that is not necessarily because they're not potentially a good friend, but we're not comfortable in our own skin. Right. We're not, we don't like ourselves. Mm-hmm. Yeah, there's that. There's one, uh, one part of it, um, that I think is good to mention as well, because often when, when the friendship of Jesus has talked about, we feel like we're like being disrespectful or we we're humanized.

Too casual. Too casual. Too casual or humanize him too much. So, and, and talks about that. So it says, we should not only, I. We should not overly domesticate Jesus here. He's not just any friend. A few chapters earlier in Revelation, we see a depiction of Christ so overwhelming to John that he falls down immobilized.

But neither should we dilute the human humanness, the sheer relational desire clearly present in these words from the mouth of the risen Christ himself. He isn't waiting for you to trigger his [00:24:00] heart. He's already standing at the door knocking, wanting to come into you. So what's our job? Our duty says Ri sibs, which is Richard Sibs, I believe.

Is to accept, uh, of Christ's inviting of us. What will we do for him if we will not feast with him? If we like, we're always thinking about like the more stuff we can go do, do, do with for, for or for God instead. But he's asking and marry Martha. Convert. Yeah. Like if we won't even feast with him and enjoy him and, and, and accept his, his love for us.

So yeah. Another part that

Gary: I, uh, had starred was on page one 20 and it was just at the top there. Um, it would be cruel to suggest that human friendship is irrelevant once one has been. Befriended by Christ. God made us for fellowship, for Union of Heart with other people. Everyone gets lonely. Lonely, including introverts.

It says, and it's fascinating. I had, uh, a meal with a guy very recently [00:25:00] and very lonely and just really sad, like emotionally lonely, right? And I'm thinking, I said to Marie afterwards, I said like, nobody could be farther from what I am than, than this person, right? Where it's just like, but like it's important.

And I think. You know, we often go, I think, into victim mentality. People that are are lonely are people that, you know, they often think it's like, no, you, like, I got where I am by putting myself out there and being somewhat uncomfortable at times. Or, you know, there are things we can do and if we find, we can always find an excuse to not do things like anybody can, like even the people that are doing everything have all the excuses, typically, often have the same excuses as the person that's living by themselves.

So I just feel like, so before boy community's important.

Kyle: Yeah. So before you went to a freedom session in 2016, um, I'm not sure how healthy you were before that, but like did you were, how open you would you have been with other people?

Gary: Uh, more open than most people, but not open about everything I. You know, there would've been little parts of my life.

I think that's really what it comes down to. Even guys that I know now that are amazing people, there's a lot of really solid people. It's amazing how people keep a little part of their life, [00:26:00] that little piece of secret stuff going on or something that they're struggling with it by themselves and in many other ways, they're probably doing really well.

Right. I. Yeah. And it's funny because the devil just uses that. Like he just, he know he, you know, you're a fraud and he knows it and he uses it. And that's how it was for me. It was like, you know, you go to church, I go to church and just feel like a total fraud, like feel like such a hypocrite, right? And so that, that's the beautiful thing.

All of a sudden there's so much power lost by Satan when we are fully known by somebody, right? He can no longer hold that.

Kyle: I think it's also, also, especially not even what we're doing, but what, what we're thinking because. Everyone has crazy thoughts, like thoughts that you, you and I

Gary: for sure have crazier thoughts than others, but No, everybody does.

That's totally true. Like

Kyle: thoughts you don't want to have, and

Gary: if you just really dark thoughts. Even some moms, dads, I hear that sometimes and I'm like, no, that's just, we're human. We're gonna sin, we're gonna,

Kyle: that's right. Yeah. But to then share those, that's when they lose their power. Like grab a phone, go hop on the phone and be like, Hey, I just like, I'm thinking these crazy things.

Like all of a sudden, like, and because

Gary: everybody as a general rule doesn't share that, we would assume we're the only ones, right? Yeah. That's pretty normal. Yeah. Anyways, good [00:27:00] chapter.

Kyle: Um, imposter syndrome struggle with that. Can you put that on there?

Gary: Yeah, I think the, um, it's come up periodically at, uh, church meetings and always define it

Kyle: first.

How would, well, I couldn't

Gary: even define it as well as some people. Could you define it? How would you define it? I asked you, well, I don't even know if I have the proper definition, but I guess for me it feels like this idea of you end up in all these roles or for myself, it's like, Hey, I'm like directing freedom session.

I don't feel qualified. Yeah. Which there again, that surprised people 'cause they think, well, you have an easy time talking at the front. No, I don't.

Kyle: Yeah.

Gary: Like I do not. I. I mean, I'm obviously not as scared of public speaking as other people, but like I'm always insecure. I'm worried that I said everything properly.

I'm worried I'm gonna say the wrong thing.

Kyle: Yeah.

Gary: Uh, mostly say something inappropriate and, and, uh, and that's not good. So I just feel like it's, um, yeah. It's interesting. It comes back to what we're just talking about actually, where it's just this idea of like, hey, if you're transparent, and I've been really blessed where I've had it recently, even where guys have been like really a uh, uh.

Given me [00:28:00] affirmation, even though I, despite my brokenness and sin.

Kyle: Yeah.

Gary: Um, so yeah, I don't know what the technical definition is, but it's the imposter syndrome is this idea of somebody that's doing something and doesn't feel at all, like, these feel like a total fraud. Right. And I mean, I wouldn't feel like, I don't feel now like I'm a total fraud, but I definitely feel like there's this like, well wait a minute, this is me doing this.

Like what the, this is whacked.

Kyle: Yeah. I, I have it with, uh, this podcast that, you know, so we, I think we're fairly open on here, but there's. There's still like things in real, in my real life that I struggle with. Um, and I, I don't share all the details. Like last night I shared my free session testimony and I was really looking up against it because I was like, um, I, I had this subconscious thing that I had to portray that I had it all together.

When I'm like, I don't like, I'm still. Well, human or whatever else like that. And so, um, I, uh, I, I feel it in that area sometimes, or I feel like other people might view me better than I actually am, and that makes me really uncomfortable. It's just like, no, I'm just, yeah. Or they view us worse. Like whatever.

Yeah. [00:29:00] Who cares? That, that, I don't mind.

Gary: That You don't care. No. They don't care how dark of a spot they put you. I,

Kyle: no, whatever. I mean, I'm Romans three. My heart's like an open grave. I need Jesus. Yeah. So, I mean, I can't get much worse than that. No. But I was thinking about sharing that my test, that freedom session testimony on, on, uh, on here and just to, um, share more of that, that real side.

Thoughts on that think something I should do?

Gary: Let me think about it. Okay.

Kyle: Maybe I'll come on.

Gary: I don't think you shared too much last night. I don't think it'd be a big deal to share that on here. I think, I mean, there again, I'd have to read it one more time, but Okay. I'll just, I'll just pull it up and do it.

Let's do it next time. Think about it next week. Yeah. That's a good idea.

Kyle: That's wise. Pray about it. That's wise. There we go. We got some wisdom here.

Gary: Well, you only asked one person and I said ask at least two more. Right.

Kyle: Well, it's always good to think about. And Paul, I've, I've learned slowly, slowly as a pretty, very AAL person, uh, to, um, slow down.

Yeah. And just to think things through. Yeah. Anyways, [00:30:00] uh, good chat. If you have any feedback, send it in. If you, uh, questions for us or scenarios I never did share

Gary: about the real estate market. Oh, that's fine. You made fun of me. No, I was gonna, uh,

Kyle: super interesting market. Like you want, you wanna talk into the mic or your hand?

Gary: Oh, my hand. Put my head in my hand. Well, I showed places this morning. I've, every day this week I've showed real estate, which is not normal for me. It kind of feast or famine. This week, uh, there was people from out of town showed a lot of places, um, and fascinating how. So few places. And there again, it's the price point or obviously if there's no budget, it doesn't matter.

Mm. But you just, you're trying to fit in this window. And so on the selling side, I have a couple listings now, and they're both great listings in a lot of ways. They're both priced very, very sharply. Like they're definitely priced to sell. I, I'm sure they both will sell, I'm pretty sure. But it's just like this idea of, um.

When you're trying to sell, it's amazing how you can't get an offer like I, like. We haven't got an offer on these listings. I think we will probably in the next week. But it's still tough to sell. And then on the buying side, it's still [00:31:00] not that easy. Like it's this weird market right now. It feels like where, you know a lot of sellers, like I'm thinking of the one place we looked at today, it says motivated seller, right In the realtor's notes.

So for those of you that look at listings, I don't know if it's like this in other parts of the country, probably is for sure it isn't. BC there's like the description that everybody sees when they. Click on a link on realtor.ca or wherever they're finding their realtor stuff. And then there's the realtor remarks.

And in the realtor remarks as a realtor, we have to post, um, where the measurements are from. 'cause like you could imagine that over the years people have posted bizarre whacked measurements. Yeah. People have took in measurements and then they did a rental in the house and it's either way bigger or way smaller and they like go move in and the master bedroom doesn't fit their bed 'cause the measurements are wrong or whatever.

Fair enough. Anyway, so you have to put where the measurements are from and then the realtors know you can put anything you want and only other realtors see it.

Kyle: Oh, interesting. Yes.

Gary: And so like there's a lot of info in there and it's fascinating. Like I had someone at the showing request today for Sunday.

I was like, it says right in the realtor, don't, we're not doing Sunday showings. Like people don't read anything, right? Yeah. No different than we're all like that, I guess. But so in there, like a lot of times, like lately you're starting to see motivated seller, [00:32:00] like, we'll consider all offers, right? So you see that.

And then on the other side, you know, I'm I, there's listings coming. I've talked to other agents to have clients like, yeah, if we sell for this, we'll sell. And if we don't. You know, so even if you have a downward trending market, you're gonna have certain product, either a, people that just don't need to sell.

Um,

Kyle: how is that different than a, than a market from three years ago? Like, because it

Gary: was order taking, like it is a grind to sell stuff now. Okay. You will list a place, I'm gonna list a place, I'll spend thousands of dollars marketing it. And if the people don't, here again, it's back to like if the client doesn't wanna lower the price or they're only gonna sell for a certain amount, you as a realtor need to have the wherewithal, either a, to not take a listing, which some realtors wouldn't.

Or take the listing, spend thousands and not sell it and be okay with that. Right? Yeah.

Kyle: I went out for, uh, lunch with the realtor a couple weeks ago and he said that of, do you think there's like 800 realtors in, in this area? Locally or whatever else like that needs. Well, there's

Gary: probably three or 400 just in Chillo Acting magazine.

Yeah. Okay. So he

Kyle: said only last year only 20% sold the place. Yeah, that totally makes sense. Of existing realtors, 20%, that was like, [00:33:00] that means like of that seven, 800, I don't know if it's

Gary: that bad, but it's,

Kyle: yeah, like

Gary: for sure 10 or 20% do 80 or 90% of the deals. For sure. I bet you the top 10% of realtors, or 5% of realtors do 80% of the deals.

And the problem is because houses have went from, in 20 years, have went from 150 grand to a million bucks in chill walk where we live, or 900 for sure. You know, the commission is so much that you don't have to do a lot of deals. So that's part of the problem. So then you get a lot of part-time realtors, people that work at Best Buy and then do some real estate deals on the side.

Right. Okay. Yeah. So, and there again, I'm not even saying that's a bad thing. I mean, it's, it might not be ideal, but it's, you know, maybe you're doing that as you're getting the foot in the door, but it's this idea of, um. You know, just easy, easy money. But like, it's not that easy. 'cause you could list, I dunno if he said that, but like, for me it's like, I dunno.

Kyle: Well, I mean, thi this guy, doctor, he's, he still did like, uh, door knocking and, and he's hustling. He's awesome. I'm like, that's awesome. You're putting, you're putting in the work, right? You get results that way. And it reminded me how important hard work is. When, um, last year I seen Sarah Tupe [00:34:00] at, uh, she's a local realtor here and I think fairly successful.

She's the number one seller. Number one seller. Okay. Yeah. So. She was, um, I went to a golf tournament and it was like a Saturday and it was in the afternoon and she was at one of the holes. And I'm like, she was selling hard. I'm, wow. You're like, she's aggressive. Yeah. Number one realtor. And you're grinding here that, that's why you're number one realtor.

Like you're putting, you're putting in the work. Yeah. Um,

Gary: and it's interesting 'cause it's a bit of, um, you see it now, and I can say this 'cause I, you know, I saw enough stuff and I've, I've listed stuff. High and not sold it or vice versa. How you list matters. And so like if you are thinking of selling, and I'm probably not your realtor, but you have a realtor, do not go on a fishing expedition.

Like just price it. Price it where it's going to sell. And if you by chance, by chance, this is everybody's worst fear that they left five grand or 20 grand on the table, if by chance you list it too low, you will get multiple offers and it will sell for over asking. I could show five examples, right? Yeah.

So I always tell people like, if you don't care and you're fine with getting your house ready to show. 30 times to have people come through and say it's [00:35:00] overpriced and not make an offer. Hey, that's fine. It's a free country, but like, if you actually wanna sell it. But also I think gets your attitude

Kyle: about, or do we wanna sell everything for like the max and squeeze every last penny out of every transaction?

Of course we do that. Those people suck to work with.

Gary: Yeah, well they're not, probably not gonna sell their place or it's gonna, they'll sell it with their third realtor.

Kyle: No, but that's what I mean though like, as like, I mean even from a Christian worldview, like you want to just be fair, right? You want to like, what is fair?

Gary: Nobody sees the value of their own stuff. Clearly. My wife's renting her clothes now. She's like, oh, everything you have is worth a fortune. Everything else you wanna buy is not worth anything. It's not totally true, but bet your clothes, you said no, just. Everything I wanna buy, like anytime we do a deal Right.

She gets so mad at me. Right. She's like, I'm trying to Chi Chisel. She's kind of saying, I'm in that camp.

Kyle: Yeah, yeah.

Gary: No, that's not totally true. I've sold privately, if you sell privately, my last two homes, my last two homes are sold privately. Yeah. Like it's, and I'm not saying it's good or bad, like, but I, I probably left money on the table when I sold one of the places, but like, who cares?

Like there [00:36:00] again, it's back to what you're saying, if you're happy with what you made and you can move on to your next thing,

Kyle: yeah. I think it maybe makes the element of greed or ev element of like, I can't get screwed. Like I have to get like the max. Just like make, make a fair deal. Well, in a falling.

Yeah.

Gary: So in a falling market, like in a bit of a correcting market or a market for sure like this, I think most realtors would agree me, this is a tough market to get a deal like. Yeah, there's a lot of inventory. Like you will definitely end up selling for less if you have a stale listing. Hmm. Right. And so it's this idea of, hey, if you have a pretty good product, and that's the bigger issue is that like I went to show places this week and the paint is like blending into the ceiling.

Right. And there's lights that don't work and there's no closet doors and there's like sheets hanging and like low hanging fruit, like, you know. Yeah. That doesn't help. Like it's so like bark mulch. Cut, grass pressure, wash driveway, fresh coat of paint, those are all things that you can do for under a couple grand.

Kyle: And it's also what the, what that value is here. 'cause my last house I sold, I sold it privately because like I knew I had to do a whole bunch of those things and it was like a rundown house. And [00:37:00] I hated hate the idea of showings and I hate the idea. Yeah. And

Gary: it's credit when people come through critical, it just sucks a life, Eddie, right?

Yeah. Every single realtor. So

Kyle: it, for me, it was worth it. Just like, Hey, let's just be done with it. Yeah. Get, get outta here. And until it's all. Yeah. Anyways, thanks for listening, guys. Feedback. Send it in, like, comment, share, subscribe. See you next week. Have a great week. See ya.

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