Elections, Evading Taxes, and Hustle Culture - The Briefcase and the Barn - Episode 14

October 23, 2024

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[Music] welcome back to another episode of the briefcase in the barn with me and Gary episode

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14 uh this what is this about the show is about us blabbering about 0:11

Christianity business MH politics all kind stuff

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whatever um No Agenda can talk about anything you want P Ando yourself 0:22

election yeah we had election BC election British Columbia listeners will listen to this on Wednesday this past

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Saturday we had uh BC election provincial election and uh very weird 0:35

very weird you were at my place we were watching the election results come in and uh you forced me to go vote I forced

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him to vote some of you probably saw that if you follow Kyle on social media it was

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very yeah it was a nailbiter just like they thought it was close I mean I think probably the majority of the population

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or would have thought maybe the NDP would have a a majority yet NDP is like the Liberals yeah they're the left you

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want to start using those terms I'd say they're the left they are the left leaning party um I would say that

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they're way farther left than they used to be I mean I grew up hearing about 1:10

politics in our home as a kid uh in the Glenn Clark days uh in the 90s and are

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you have you always been into BC politics cuz I'm like I'm bored to tears no I love it like you're one of those people that follows American politics

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American politics and I I despise that I don't actually follow that many politics it does matter like it it matters

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obviously you know every country uh government matters I just feel like people in our country should be more concerned about our politics than they

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should our neighbor to the South I voted Yeah by force like literally literally physically I I was I was kind of out of

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it from my R now but do you think it makes a difference much for you like business-wise and stuff like that being in BC if that conservatives are the um

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the Liberals get in NP liberals I think it's interesting where well I think 1:52

because a free enterprise party like the conservative party would be more Pro business and less taxes for business

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um I think that they they would be better for business in the long run I think they're better for there weren't

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any specific policies that you no and I don't look at it that way I look at it I try to look at it non-biased and

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holistically like even it's interesting even in uh at the federal level I mean you

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know yeah you got to put your own your own things aside so I feel like do you

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mean put your own things aside well you could for instance if you're a Dairy Farmer if you're in Supply management

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you know and the conservative party that I feel was maybe hey going make policies that are healthier overall for our

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country but they were going to get rid of cot like would I instantly vote for like the left leaning party no I

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wouldn't like I would just put my own personal you know and I think that's that's what it means to be principled

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right and that's hard to do e easier said than done especially when it touches the money especially when it touches the almighty dollar but there's

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not enough money that you can have that makes you feel okay and most of us are all trying trying so hard or I'll speak

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for myself I shouldn't speak for you you you're not there yet not it's not enough it's not enough

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it's never been enough okay uh proverb of the week

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patience can persuade a prince and soft speech can break bones that's deep that's

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deep talk to me with that patience can persuade a prince and soft speech can break bones speech can break

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bones I think it lines up with just uh can you read the verse before or they 3:32

the Proverbs are not like that they're just one-offs it's not like you're context cookies that's how I thought

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about it I I did uh like I don't know 10 years ago did some course on uh the different writing styles in the Bible how like Paul's letters are like actual

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like letters written to you as if you got a letter and like different types and how Proverbs were just like there were single Proverbs and like thought of

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them like a fortune cookie and it made me think of them way differently because when you read like the whole chapter you're just like fire host but yeah it's

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fascinating like even that first statement I mean I don't know if there's exact Proverbs they don't come to mind

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in my in my head about you know that would say the opposite but Proverbs are like that where there's not that they

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contradict each other but I mean you know in one sense yeah patience and then on the other hand you know the Bible says you know hey work hard get at it

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right and you know you can be work hard and be patient I think it's just more in like when you're talking to a leader

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something else like that if you're trying to force your way it's probably not going to work but if you're patient and you're smart with your words soft

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words soft words not SM that is really that's Sage advice I mean how you say things the tone on how

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you say it how you present it is so important and it's so hard and the people that have a gift at it they get a lot of things done and they typically

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are interestingly enough get their way a lot more than somebody that is very sure they want their way and are going to steamroll their way and I that's

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probably what the proverb is saying right influence yeah the break bone 4:53

Parts I don't totally understand is that like literally just K oh like just like it just softens things I think okay

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yeah I think I mean I think you take time especially asking question it's honestly not my gift that's a convicting verse for me that's not

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true you can blabber your way through anything I can talk my way in and out in and out of jail but I don't feel like I

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I feel like if I'm talking to Authority or if I'm struggling with something I often get too agitated and I wish I could be

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more yeah I feel like it's a it's a gift you see people that are like just stay calm it is a gift cuz most of the time

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getting worked up does not help actually I would say almost yeah the bulk of the time rarely rarely and there are times

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where you should be fired up anyways great proverb okay uh what we got here we got

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some less we didn't talk much about the election are you concern you don't care hey you're board to Tar you just want to

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move on do not care I don't know what difference it makes like I mean it makes a really big difference like the the

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Coalition between the greens and the NDP will spend us into I mean we're already in the poor house I think they're running a sixer the the the deficit

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spending is awful and just by all the other policy which I mean there's a lot I guess I just don't know what to do with it like let's say let's say they

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win by one seat the conservatives or liberals why can we do with it yeah personally it is what it is pray for the

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leaders whether whatever part political party they are that's right yeah yeah totally vote then go do your basketb go

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work hard yeah just do your thing stay in your lane okay fair enough okay I'll

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remind you that when lion Kamala wins actually oh yeah okay um got 6:29

something from daily dad again uh there a guy's name is Ryan holiday if you want to look him up there's a little bit of a

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quote here okay uh our kids are going to screw up not just in the sense that they're going to knock over lamps and or

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forget their lunch at school our our kids are going to get sent home from school for fighting they're going to get caught cheating on a test they go on a

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call one day because they cheated on their spouse and are letting you know they're getting div a divorce this is what humans do they screw up they follow

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their stupid impulses they get carried away they they try to get away with stuff they break laws they make bad decisions do bad things and inevitably

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invariably they face consequences for this how will we as parents respond we

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must respond with love and patience with grace even if we taught them better even if we gave them advice that would have

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prevented it I forgive you Gandy telegraphed to his son when his son 7:18

informed him of an affair ask God to forgive you as we've said before gandi 7:24

was often too hard on his boys expecting from them The Impossible standards he expected of himself but in in this

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instance he got it right we are not the judges of our kids especially when they have grown our job is not to shame and

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punish them our job is to help them through life even if that life is currently a mess of their own making our

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job is to make them feel love to let them know that it doesn't change how we see them and that if they need something

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from us we are always there but most of all our job is to forgive to give them Grace as much grace as they

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need I found this super convicted when I read this

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because I think I expect way I'm like way too impatient and like they don't listen

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right away and I'm like come on let's go hurry up or when they screw up and stuff like that and I'm I'm always screwing up

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and I don't someone you should be patient more patient I know and especially when they're kids little kids

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like I was talking about with Nicole about it earlier how um I was getting 8:24

annoyed that I was starting to feel my feelings more yeah and I was like I wish I would just shut off like before I just

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feel nothing and uh about how how we can do this to our kids by you know if they're like loud or crying or whatever

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else like that like telling them to shut up get out of here come on get your crap together and we're just teaching him to basically shut down to have no emotions

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to to keep it all inside if we don't so do you communicate those how would you

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like I I've had that exact example or situation happen in in the last 36 hours 8:54

like over the weekend and I basically um in in that moment so I do 9:00

pray with my kids every night when I tuck them into bed and so that's probably the one real connecting time I have where like I'm paying attention I'm

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not looking at my phone I'm not distracted by anything else it's us you dark I'm like just tucking in and I feel

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like in that moment we always apologize like if there's and it's it's usually the process of getting him to bed that

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really Kindles my wrath sometimes but it's just like okay I'll say hey I'm really sorry

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um uh that was completely unacceptable I try to never say it was because you're

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an impel and you don't listen I was just like no like just own it like just an apology is not an apology if there's a

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bot after right or because or you know any of that stuff so it's just like hey 9:40

I'm sorry that was not okay yeah I mean and I don't even ask them to forgive me I just say hey that's I'm really wrong

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I'm sorry about that and then I'll of and pray and in that prayer I'll be like hey you know Dad needs a savior just

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like you need a savior we're all sinful um and um I'm trying to be like the other day I said a word I shouldn't have

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said to my kid and I mean probably not the first time but I'm just like hey that's just really I'm teaching you horrible things I'm sorry

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about that um so that patience is coming like am I more patient like I'm probably

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more patient than I was two years ago I'm probably not as angry in in those moments but I still have a lot of those

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moments I feel like it's not like they're not going to happen it's just it's a really special when you can like

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they'll remember that the like they need to be taught the lesson of hey remember

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the apology but they're what they're going to remember more is if you're actually being patient like cuz one thing I find myself doing is like okay I

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can keep apologizing for every time like every 3 days unhinged yeah no that's fair not even unhinged just like just

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like impatient you know like um there's a one of my journal prompts in my in the coaching I do is do you um tolerate or

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do you allow things and often I feel like I'm just like tolerating my kids I'm just like putting up with like

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their yeah their fact that their kids and stuff like that instead of just like allowing them to be kids and it reminds me of Jesus in the Bible like he didn't

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he wasn't annoyed to the kids he was like let like he wanted them to come to him uh and and he wanted to spend time

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with them and um yeah I think if we're just you know kids can tell if we we want them around or not or if they're

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just annoying and we can't wait for them to like get out of our lives so we can go do our own thing I think it's I think

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it's more that I think it's a disposition of the heart of like okay are they are they actually that

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important to us or are we just are they in in the way my kids always want to come with me

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especially my one kid come with hang out spend time yeah I had this morning I went to the driving range I was planning

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to go by myself and uh then I told the boys I'm like no you guys can come with

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kids are homeschooled too so your kids are always there yeah and I have this whole week off okay and so uh like no

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coaching calls this week nothing okay zero oh wow all my stuff's going to go my lock box here soon until Friday I'll

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have no technology for four days you are going to be short circuiting yes I have my whole schedule written down on paper

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so I can still go to different things okay good good for you um but yeah I mean it's like you know I'd rather just

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go by myself a lot of times um but just you got to you know butt your but your uh

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butt your tongue and and uh say hey what do you really want here like what matters to you long term because they

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had a great time they loved it kind of ties into our next question listener 12:23

question um I'm quoting now I had have a bunch of

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questions about your thoughts on work work ethic Etc that were actually discussed pretty well on the last show

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I'm wondering if you guys can expand on that topic should everyone have a season of Life probably in their 20s or 30s

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where their main when work is their main focus that takes up all or nearly all of

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their energy and time does hustle culture have a place in Christianity also do you make the switch also how do

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you make the switch into a more balanced lifestyle after all your life you've pursued work Financial gain as the

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number one purpose in your life but are sick of it you see Gary's face right now he's

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like no well it's really it's really insightful so I guess there's a bunch of 13:14

questions here expand more on the topic um should there be a season the first question I still remembering is should

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there be a season when in your early 20s or 30s your whole life revolves around work yeah that's mean I probably

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Justified it a bit you were pushing back pretty hard I I would still stand by what I said but I mean not entirely like

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not not an excuse for sin not an excuse for sin that was a great that was a great line that you that was a great line that was about Character defects

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but I think also for this well no it's the same thing and I think that um like 13:47

I think Dutch people we pray about certain things but we don't actually pray for direction or we don't like you

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know what I mean like in the culture that we come from like you don't pray about guidance for something and then expect an answer pray for safety on

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something we've chosen to do without asking already yeah or yeah that's that's that would be an example or we

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you know are we yeah I think we often pray without expecting answers and I think that's wrong I think that God you

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know either will give a word from someone else or you know they'll become clear to us or I I think that even on

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this like I would look at it in my life it's like when my wife is perpetually feeling

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disconnected and like I'm not giving her enough attention which often does happen even now and I'm 40 now um we've been

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married years it's like well then like my ideas don't even matter at that point 14:34

like if the person that you have been entrusted with to care for and make feel special doesn't feel special well then

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you are failing so like you know the idea of what you know you or I thought about the balance wouldn't matter and I

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think that's where you want to really be careful with stuff like this is that every every relationship is different I mean some women just have less emotional

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needs and maybe it's not as big of a deal and some women need their husband or whatever to be home all the time

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putting kids to bed cuz that's that's just by that time they're done right and so then as a man that would be your job right like I think you know being uh in

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a community now of Christians that is not doesn't have many as Dutch people in it I'll be part of like my small group

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and stuff like that and there's guys there that you know they're happy making less than 100 Grand a year and

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have like four or five kids and they're just content with they content and they're just like and their kids get way more time with them and so I think it's

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also an expectations thing like we just expect to have a lot um well and in our Dutch Community or at least how I've

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been how how my perception there again you it's not fair to paint brush cuz there's people that aren't like that but

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like it's always about one next step it's always about oh driven your first 15:41

house oh a nicer house oh an acreage is the epitome of s like yeah like you'll be happy yeah like I think it um how how

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it kind of started shifting for me was when I got coached for the first time so I wanted to be MDT CEO so I shared that

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with Martin and uh and he said well let me let's let let's get uh you connected with a high-end coach at of Toronto and

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see if it's actually worth something and and see if you that's actually what you want to do and so um I started the 10e

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coaching program which is the model I use now and with Kim uh my coach and uh

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which was really interesting because she was a uh she's a Jewish lady like she's like in her 50s liberal and I'm like you

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know I'm selling Firearms conservative you know they're very very different but but still a great coach still a great

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coach because she's just asking you what do you want right and so in week two of the program she's like what's most important to you and I said um in order

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and she and I said God and then family and then work um she's like okay then

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week six she goes Kyle I think that's goes I think works first I'm like works not first he's like she's

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like no works first all you do is work your actions show what you believe and what's important your action show what you believe not your words and she's

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like I don't care like I'm a Jew I don't care what you put first just don't yourself um and that that's

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started that coaching really really helped clarify what I actually wanted cuz everything was being challenged

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constantly right and like why do you actually want this like what's actually important to you and and your if your

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behaviors aren't lining up then you can't actually say that and I think um you know if you want to be a lots of

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times people want to be a good leader in their company or you know they'll go to leadership conferences and all these things like stuff like that read

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business books and stuff like that so if being a dad or a husband things like that are important to you like go do

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something about it go read good book you know go challenge yourself put yourself in positions where you can actually learn and change and stuff like that

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don't just say it and and uh and do nothing you know um get coached or 17:38

whatever whatever it is um fig figure out yeah what your priorities are aign 17:46

accordingly yeah I think it's the other danger is is that we associate with people that think like us right and so

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we tend to you know we'll hang out with friends that and groups of people like even if we moov to a new community you

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would probably gravit towards people that are somewhat like mine you would naturally find those people it's not likely that you would all of a sudden

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you know start hanging out with a whole different sphere of people and and we tend to you know there's the old saying

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tell me who your F five closest friends are and I'll tell you what kind of person you are right and that's true like you know and I always challenge

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people that are struggling in life they tend to hang out with people that struggle because they're more comfortable there and I'm like no you

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need to put yourself out of your comfort zone find people that have what you want even though you don't have it that's what I did when I was younger find find

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guys that are married find people that are working hard and they're successful and they've done well and they've you know just have the type of life that I

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wanted and then hey just spend time with them and it's amazing how that because you'll be just in communication in

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casual conversation you're always growing right you're you're being challenged your thoughts are being challenged well if you hang out with

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people that perpetually make stupid choices they're not going to challenge you on your bad choices they don't even know what a good choice is they're just

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not that wise right and I feel like in this case where like if you're basically a workaholic or the

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your life revolves around working and and it's so easy to do right because it's praised because you know being

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ambitious is praised being successful is praised right and but also when you stop doing it after you've been doing it for

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5 10 15 20 years it's just like what do you go do oh and you feel lazy yeah like for me like it's like if my wife will

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like sing my Praises on Sunday night we have a marriage meeting cuz Saturday I didn't work like I spent time and I'm like they was Purgatory like that was

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the longest day of my life right it's like no that is the right thing to do it's just quality time and I that would

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be a believe aie Bel that you have like when you're not working and people have a belief that they're lazy and so because they have that belief they're

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going to go work and so that's the belief that gets challenged like is actually think it's way deeper than that I I think it's it's not even that it's

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not about the belief it's about innately as human beings you know even even if we have S theology our our our our belief

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theology does not line up with actually how we feel in our heart so our then then it's not a belief then it's just something you're saying with your head

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well fair enough but I mean you know there's a lot of that going on in our world right there's a lot of saying oh in my own life too I'm just saying that

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like what I'm trying to get at is basically you

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um the idea people are Feeling Good by their their work is making them feel good right and most people have that and

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and to some degree it's probably healthy like you should be proud of what you do and you should enjoy what you do and you know what if you didn't care at all if

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people said hey that was a good job you did I mean that would so it's funny how there's always that Spectrum right and typically we just can't stay in the

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middle we we go off and a ditch on either side but also I mean if you're like you know this like starting your own business and having a business it's

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hard work right like you got to put the time in before you see results and stuff like that and that's the same with like you want to be a good dad or things like

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that like you're not going to all of a sudden like you know want to make some changes all become super patient overnight like it's going to take years

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to become patient it's like it takes time like yeah a long time did we answer that question not really is there more

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to the question what was the back part of the question the back part of the question was um how how do you make the

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switch into a more balanced lifestyle after all your life you've only pursued work financial gain as the number one

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purpose in your life but you're sick of it I think I think we answered that I feel like the other thing is for me I

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have a lot of other and that's what my wife always says is the problem like you just got to pick a lane like you can't do the three businesses and

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the you know the other stuff but it's like when someone says how do you do the switch like and I know a lot of guys

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even you know in in other Dutch form churches like they're they're either Elders or they're they're volunteering

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or they're doing you know they're helping all kinds of causes right and there's a thousand like nobody should ever just be sitting around too that's

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the other challenge right where it's like no I don't think that's the problem I don't think they're going to start struggling with sitting around all of a

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sudden now like you don't need to worry about that like that's not that's not going to not going to be there are some people I know that are sitting around uh

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yeah just too content with not realizing that like it's like did I give away the John Piper book don't waste your life no

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oh it's coming coming it's coming great book anyway I think it ties 21:53

well into uh the show sponsor though uh furiously curious coaching okay helping overworked business owners leaders and

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also interact with each other through the um software I have and stuff like that and and learn from each other which I think will be pretty cool cuz most

23:03

likely they'll um business owners or Executives in a business and a lot of times you can relate do those things you

23:09

say guys do you coach women I do yeah you do okay mainly guys though okay most the

23:17

only women I coach right now are it's all pro bono work like for Charities and stuff like that not it's not through the

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actual full-on coaching program so anyways yeah interest in that hit me up this week I don't know you had it on

23:28

your notes but uh when this podcast comes out there will be a interest rate 23:34

announcement on Wednesday and for those like me that are deeply indebted to the bank it matters and it's going to be a

23:40

half percent cut that's my prediction okay bold so you're excited jumbo yeah back to money more money keep the turn

23:46

the money printers on let's get these asset prices up we uh we got some good questions for um uh overtime later about

23:53

Halloween and stuff um dear sign up for sign up sign patreon sign up for the

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patreon uh support the show is it about trick-or-treating uh we'll get there 24:05

first we got two more lessener questions very similar to each other as Christians how many loopholes can we avoid paying

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taxes renders an Cesar what is Caesars even if they're used for ungodly things

24:17

like abortion euthanasia and all sorts of other evils what are your opinions on income tax should we find legal ways to

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avoid it when possible legal ways to avoid yes leg

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ways to avoid yeah what about cash jobs I wouldn't put that in the legal 24:35

Camp I wouldn't either given to Caesar with a Caesars what what about the fact

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it's it's complicated it's like um watch your mic yeah I got to get away 24:46

from the mic with mik my answer um a person that sees every the world as 24:53

black and white and is less Nuance for everything will see it as black and white and there will be no gray and

24:59

another person will see things I'm not saying it's a matter of conscience CU obviously not you don't get to stand before a judge and say hey

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my conscience was clear in this so I'm not in trouble um but you know should a

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babysitter somebody who gets paid 40 bucks for babysitting should they be claiming that I mean after 11,000 yeah

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yeah okay I think that's I think that's that's what the law says I mean like I hate it too that it gets spent on crazy

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things but it's not about that that part doesn't I that part I can see cuz it's like at the end of the day we're not going to like it's the same as tithing

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like you know if your church if you felt like you didn't agree with every line item on your Church's budget that's not your concern like that are going to

25:36

aware that and you just need to be you just need to be giving generously that's all God's going to ask you did you give generously right it's not going to like

25:43

if you knew an organization was frivolously spending their money you would if it was your place you would you would challenge that but like it's funny

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how people use things to justify their own sin like somebody else's sin to justify their own instead of just worrying about what they're called to do

25:56

right so be obedient just be obedient be generous pay your taxes yeah I mean the interesting thing is as an entrepreneur

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this is how I look at it cuz I you know I'm helping people sell Farms I'm help two two people right now I'm working on

26:08

selling very expensive Farms like you eventually pay tax like you can avoid when you say talk about loopholes or you

26:14

know whatever words you want to use or legal ways like if you're in growth mode as a business you especially in farming

26:19

you are not going to pay tax you will pay no income tax and then one day you will sell your farm and you'll pay $ three or $4 million in tax right you

26:25

know all that will get paid so and because Farmers or any other business are are are helping grow the economy

26:31

they're helping with GDP they're hiring people you know just my businesses alone they're not even that big I probably

26:37

have 10 or 15 employees you know there there's tax breaks but to say that you know a person that the people I respect

26:44

the most are the people that just do the right thing all the time irregardless of anyone's watching they don't talk about it they just you know and so I think

26:51

most of us would agree with that it's just funny even me I struggle with it it's like where is that line right and

26:56

where like what is a what is a loophole like ask your account how gray is it no don't ask your accountant just pray

27:02

about it like I mean you're depending on who your accountant is they'll give you a different answer I just had this the other day some person called me up and

27:07

they're telling me about what they had to pay and I'm like I have a great account and they're honest people but

27:13

they don't look at the law that way they look at the rules a bit differently and they they interpret it differently so that's why I say you know it it's to

27:20

some I think that's one I think that's one thing but it's another thing too like I think there's the reason this got asked is because I think it's quite

27:26

common that people avoid void avoid paying tax yeah or like like yeah just 27:32

don't claim things yeah okay let me take it a step further forget the cash jobs How about

27:39

if you're trading jobs now is it okay because you're trading a job with someone you know I'm doing this for you and you're doing this for me and we

27:44

didn't exchange money like is that okay like yeah I don't know I'm just saying what is the law on that I don't even

27:50

know what the law is a trading jobs things I don't know like yeah want to trade a cow for some

27:56

coaching my name's Gra bars for a reason my nickname like gray bars no yeah but us it's it's it's yeah

28:05

pay to seeds or what a Caesars somebody just told me that the other day somebody who works for me pay your taxes I find now so

28:13

farming's very different because Farm you're on a cash basis not in a cruel B there's very different accounting rules

28:18

whereas like in real estate in these businesses like you just pay the tax man like there's no yeah like anyways okay

28:26

one more one more thing here before we go into overtime so 28:31

um I have a I have I have a theory on something so I was talking to my counselor about this how I was

28:36

perpetually feeling guilty and crappy about the fact that I was failing as a dad and a husband stuff like that there

28:42

was always more things I could do better my action show what I believe so it just shows that like in so many ways I'm not a good dad yet this and that and uh I

28:49

think like I I coach a lot of a types as well you know like very driven guys don't want to be weak want to be the hero don't want to ask for help and one

28:56

of the common things is that they often always feel overwhelmed I was feeling overwhelmed with this um but I think if

29:02

you have when your morals are in the right place um you know it can seem like a pursuit of righteousness right where

29:07

you're like oh want to be a good dad or whatever good husband good Christian stuff like that couldn't seem like you're always pursuing the right thing

29:13

and and that it's about you know like that your heart's in the right place then I was reading in the Bible last

29:18

week this verse that says from Jeremiah 179 and10 it says the human heart is the most deceitful of all things and

29:23

desperately wicked who really knows how bad it is but I the Lord search all hearts and examine secret motives I give

29:29

all people their due rewards according to what their actions deserve I was thinking about this I'm like if I was a

29:35

betting man for me it's probably not talking to a for an an uh gambling 29:42

addict here no but if I was a bding man um my issue is probably not that it's like a pursuit of righteousness for me

29:48

but it's probably more of a pursuit of wanting to be like God like I don't want to be weak I want to be strong I don't

29:53

want to have any like problems and stuff like that which is the original sin which is like why Satan got sent out of

29:59

Heaven as an angel because he wanted to be like God he didn't want to be above God he want to be like God same with like uh Eve she got tempted you want to

30:07

be like God and I was like you know what I think a lot of this like super drivenness is actually not often because

30:13

we want to pursue the right thing but because we want to be like God and uh I just kind of realized that this week I

30:19

was thinking through it which was very uh yeah it was humbling control we 30:26

want to control yeah I want to control everything I don't like to admit that I'm like that but and a lot of people I meet are like that too moms dads trying

30:33

to control their kids' Behavior control their financial situation if realiz what does not control look like though

30:39

because I think you know what you focus on grows if I tell you all the time don't think about monkeys don't think about monkeys you're going to think about monkeys so we talk often about the

30:45

things we shouldn't be doing but what does giving up giving up look like as a dad giving up to win the

30:52

war I think it's a little bit it's letting go like having peace in your heart and not like trying to be the boss

30:58

because I think that's partly what my issue was as well just like hey I I I I can't be perfect you know I have to say

31:05

God I can't I I Surrender this to you like I'm going to fail as a dad and in all kinds of other ways and and uh

31:12

please help me still be faithful but not like I'm not condemned anymore right as a Christian there's no condemnation for

31:18

those in Christ Jesus so I I don't need to walk around like being like you piece of like get your crap together like

31:23

that doesn't help no no that definitely doesn't help no I always say you got to

31:28

give up to win the war right and so like what does that look like and it just looks like surrendering right and even uh on Saturday night well like it's when

31:35

the roof was leaking at right you're at my house yeah right and we're having a monsoon rain and I getting some work

31:41

done in our house and the r there was water pouring through the light in my house right like just just because of

31:46

one spot it was coming in and I just tucked Noah in like an hour later there I went upstairs and I said Noah like

31:52

just so you know that God's just trying to he's just teaching me like he's just teaching me cuz I'm a perfectionist and

31:58

I'm psychotic and I everything has to be perfect and I get upset when it's not and God's just saying no Gary like it

32:04

doesn't matter like you can like you can still enjoy people being at your house you don't need to be stressed out and freaked

32:11

out but the hot and psychotic I just for you guys listening to audio you have to watch a video version to get this part

32:17

of it Kyle just put a hat on my head that said I put the hot in psychotic but uh yeah I

32:25

just like I'm hard thing every time I hit a hard thing and this is this is I've done this ever

32:31

since I sobered up and I did the steps first time when I went to a when there's struggles in my day and there's often

32:36

struggles in my day and I challenged I always think okay what is God trying he's always trying to teach me something I'm always supposed to be learning

32:42

something so every time I have a hard time you would you wouldn't say that let someone say say like oh you're overs spiritualizing it like no I'm definitely

32:48

not anyone that knows me knows I don't over spiritualize it's just a fact like challenges come for a reason and either

32:54

I'm putting energy into things I shouldn't be putting energy in or I'm just not like you said earlier not being

32:59

patient I'm not realizing that my kids are going to be kids and they're going to scream and fight and yell and that's just normal for six kids 10 and under

33:06

that's what a house is going to look like and I need to be more patient with screaming and you know or or I just need to not be so stressed out about all the

33:11

deals I'm doing so I can put up with that noise and no I think even in financial hard times or whatever either

33:18

a I haven't worked hard enough I haven't saved enough or I haven't been made the right decisions or God's just saying hey no you're going to trust in me even

33:24

though those bills are not covered right now right and I've had that too I was like standing in the mailbox just praying for a check there like so I I

33:31

literally had that this summer you literally and I've literally had that in my life many times so I feel like there

33:36

is always things to be learned and I think we squander gifts the suffering the things that suffering teach when we

33:42

are just saying I just want my life to be comfortable I don't want to you know I don't want take this pain and

33:47

suffering away from me right and I think that's the cool thing challing when actually when you're actually more and

33:53

more obedient and do the right thing and accept the challenges you will have more peace when you try to control yourself

33:59

that's when you don't have peace yeah when you're trying to just like push bulldozer yeah and I do often I mean I

34:04

like as a general rule I'm just trying harder right and that just doesn't work like and so that's where it was like it was at the end how does it does it does

34:11

work in the sense of financial success sometimes but that It ultimately brings discontentment and unfulfillment like at

34:18

the end of the auction week right where we have a great auction it was a successful auction we fed a thousand people it was a fun night and you know

34:24

everybody's pumped and like the auction was I mean as good as an auction the line kind of sucked getting the food but

34:30

I thought you said the lon kind of sucked the ly no there was no ly that's too yeah

34:36

um yeah but at the end of the week it's like okay like now I'm going to be disappointed about this like no God's

34:41

just saying no like just let go like be thankful yeah even the line like that stresses me out well like who cares like

34:48

it's just out of my control in that moment and I want to blame and I have all kinds of excuses and Heritage Park

34:53

made us do that and I want to give them a one star review maybe we still will I was actually staying in line I was like I was going I was going to text you like

34:59

Gary what is going on I'm here for free food I was like that's actually a loser thing to say I'm going to ask him how could I help

35:04

you yeah so we I mean we whatever we improvised a bit but we get in trouble but I don't know that at the end

35:12

I think it's just like yeah how do you how do we uh what do we learn from suffering right there's a lot to be learned in that anyways we're going to

35:18

head into overtime we're past our 30 minute Mark already again I also feel like I should mention now that I've said it is like a bit of water in the house

35:25

is not suffering like there's people that really do suffer so now I'm now I feel like I mean we just did Freedom

35:30

sessions going deeper last week people have a lot of struggles man man suffering okay we're going to give a

35:36

book away as well uh in uh in overtime the smartest guys in the room that is

35:41

not this room that's the book is not this so anyways two dummies in the bar 35:47

thank you very much for listening it's very much appreciated talk soon byebye thanks again for listening to another

35:52

episode of the briefcase in the barn as always really appreciate it like comment subscribe share it with social media any

35:59

of that stuff it helps a lot also if you you like the content and you're benefiting from it and uh would mind supporting the show

36:05

patreon.com curious curious I'll put a link in the description as well or you can find that link in any of my social

36:10

media bios you also get access to overtime um episodes that way so thanks again for listening and I'll see you

36:16

guys next week

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